Klonoa
30-06-11, 07:44
Good morning everyone!
Soo... I've almost finished my first 30 days of Fluoxetine and since to begin with it has made my anxiety worse (and mind racing and restless, then very very tired among other things) I have stayed away from being in the car. I think it was a wise thing to do but...
this weekend I can't really avoid it. I know to beat my fear of driving I have to be out there but I reaaally reaaaally reaaaaaaaaaaaaally don't want to. Every other time I've made it back in one piece I don't feel elated I did a good job (of not killing us), just huge relief that I can finally do something else so that I can relax my nerves!
I find it utterly exhausting, I've had memory and concentration problems for at least a couple of years now and concentrating on my speed, the road in front of me, the cars in front, the cars behind, changing lanes e.t.c is just utterly taxing.
But I know I *have* to drive. I've been in the US for 4 years and I still don't have any friends, the life I live here is seriously more secluded than it was in my Cornish village in the middle of nowhere. There's no corner shop or chip shop to walk to, it's just rows of houses, you really do need a car to live here.
I also feel unsafe in this neighborhood, I'm the kind of person who's always been a little anxious anyways so I have to convince myself to go out and mingle, but it's hard to get a good understanding of how safe it really is here. A lot of it is fear mongering by my mother in law, when I first moved here I offered to take the dog for a walk and her jaw nearly dropped to the floor that I would go out by myself. My husband frowns worriedly when I mention it to him too, and when I do see the occasional person out walking they always have stick or something with them.
But it's not like I live in a ghetto or anything, it's pretty comparable to where I lived in Runcorn I guess. On the whole I felt pretty safe there, I had a panic alarm and just kept my wits about me when I left the house, nothing bad ever happened. I just don't know if it's really unsafe, or if my husband's family have coloured my view, I didn't grow up here so I don't really know.
But I do know that this isn't helping my independence and after 4 years of solitary confinement (my husband isn't exactly a social person who likes to go places so it is a headache to get out even on weekends sometimes), it's very hard to get on my feet. Some days its just really overwhelming!
Also, I have been practicing driving for nearly 3 years and I'm 27 lol
All I need to do is practice parallel parking and some reversing I could probably take my test, but I'm so scared I'm going to fail. I don't even know why! It's not like anyone is going to shout at me, the only person who is probably going to punish me is myself, that's not exactly anyones fault but mine is it lol
Any advice for a girl going crazy here?
Soo... I've almost finished my first 30 days of Fluoxetine and since to begin with it has made my anxiety worse (and mind racing and restless, then very very tired among other things) I have stayed away from being in the car. I think it was a wise thing to do but...
this weekend I can't really avoid it. I know to beat my fear of driving I have to be out there but I reaaally reaaaally reaaaaaaaaaaaaally don't want to. Every other time I've made it back in one piece I don't feel elated I did a good job (of not killing us), just huge relief that I can finally do something else so that I can relax my nerves!
I find it utterly exhausting, I've had memory and concentration problems for at least a couple of years now and concentrating on my speed, the road in front of me, the cars in front, the cars behind, changing lanes e.t.c is just utterly taxing.
But I know I *have* to drive. I've been in the US for 4 years and I still don't have any friends, the life I live here is seriously more secluded than it was in my Cornish village in the middle of nowhere. There's no corner shop or chip shop to walk to, it's just rows of houses, you really do need a car to live here.
I also feel unsafe in this neighborhood, I'm the kind of person who's always been a little anxious anyways so I have to convince myself to go out and mingle, but it's hard to get a good understanding of how safe it really is here. A lot of it is fear mongering by my mother in law, when I first moved here I offered to take the dog for a walk and her jaw nearly dropped to the floor that I would go out by myself. My husband frowns worriedly when I mention it to him too, and when I do see the occasional person out walking they always have stick or something with them.
But it's not like I live in a ghetto or anything, it's pretty comparable to where I lived in Runcorn I guess. On the whole I felt pretty safe there, I had a panic alarm and just kept my wits about me when I left the house, nothing bad ever happened. I just don't know if it's really unsafe, or if my husband's family have coloured my view, I didn't grow up here so I don't really know.
But I do know that this isn't helping my independence and after 4 years of solitary confinement (my husband isn't exactly a social person who likes to go places so it is a headache to get out even on weekends sometimes), it's very hard to get on my feet. Some days its just really overwhelming!
Also, I have been practicing driving for nearly 3 years and I'm 27 lol
All I need to do is practice parallel parking and some reversing I could probably take my test, but I'm so scared I'm going to fail. I don't even know why! It's not like anyone is going to shout at me, the only person who is probably going to punish me is myself, that's not exactly anyones fault but mine is it lol
Any advice for a girl going crazy here?