befuddled1
30-06-11, 23:05
I have 50 minutes of counselling once a week. It is not enough. The counsellor is new again and I don't get her or trust her. Each session it takes me time to settle in before I can focus. At the moment I feel bad, very bad, and like I can't cope. I have frequent frequent thoughts of death and dying from cancer and of it not mattering if I do. I feel as if I'm not really here at all at times. When I'm at work I can cope better with that stuff cause I worry instead about other stuff and focus on what needs doing. But I am only at work three days a week and next week I have a week off. I feel awful about it. I am terrified I have cancer because my bowels don't work like they used to. Other physical symptoms also pop up and bother me and make me think I am going to die soon. I don't know how to make my life better anymore.
I can't keep waiting. I need to feel better NOW. This is the time.
I do not want to go back on antidepressants.
I want to face the issues and deal with them.
But I can't do that once a week with some woman who i may not even be able to keep seeing. It is painful to face these things I can't bring them up and put them away again. I need to face it when it's there and with someone who can give it the attention it needs. Perhaps that sounds selfish.
Is there any more intensive therapy anyone knows of?
I can't keep waiting. I need to feel better NOW. This is the time.
I do not want to go back on antidepressants.
I want to face the issues and deal with them.
But I can't do that once a week with some woman who i may not even be able to keep seeing. It is painful to face these things I can't bring them up and put them away again. I need to face it when it's there and with someone who can give it the attention it needs. Perhaps that sounds selfish.
Is there any more intensive therapy anyone knows of?