Good mood didnt last, annoyed with myself

[haziefantasie]

Hi everyone

I had about an hour this morning of feeling really positive - I decided life is too short to be depressed & I wanted to tell the world! Since Ive hardly been outside the last few days I decided to make the most of it & went for a walk.

Im not sure if I walked too far or got too hot or what but now my mood has hit rock bottom & Im so annoyed with myself! Why cant I just have a day of feeling good, going for a walk & enjoying the sunshine? Why do I have to get so hot, pour with sweat & worry everyone is looking at me? Im only on day 7 of citalopram so I dont know if its coz of that, maybe Ill feel more stable once that has settled in my system. I just cant help thinking now maybe Im bipolar? Argh this is so annoying :lac:

[vicky23]

hi hazie, I've honestly felt like this so many times I'll be having a really positive time then something will trigger an anxious thought and I spiral into a bad mood state really quickly I'm sure this is normal and it happens to everyone but I think it's more pronounced in people with anxiety/depression because they're so tuned into their emotions.
As for being annoyed with yourself I really don't see the need to be in fact it seems to me you should be congratulating yourself because you went out in the first place!
Maybe you did just do a little too much in your excitement over having a good hour and the heat can bother people a lot, when I walk in it I get very anxious and crouchy!
So don't beat yourself up just think on the acheivement of your having a good hour. Your sky is pretty cloudy right now but you had a break of light! and now a cloud has passed over again but it will come out again look forward to those times and enjoy them when they come, let them give you strength for the cloudy times
Well done you did good! be encouraged xx

[ames]

I agree with vicky23. These glimpses are great because it means that you are still in there!! If you believe in that and try to keep positive, you will see these glimpses more and more. 7 days is not long on the tablets, give them time to work, and give yourself a break!! X

[daydreamer]

hi hazie,

well done for getting out there and pushing yourself to go for a walk. Im having a tough time with the heat at the moment too, it seems to have triggered depression but Im also trying to push myself to do stuff! You might not have enjoyed it this time, but Im sure that if you can find the motivation to keep doing it that in time you will start to enjoy it. Maybe your putting too much pressure on yourself to enjoy it? I know I do that a lot and it just takes any pleasure and enjoyment away before it starts, I then beat myself up about it - thoughts like why can I just be like a normal person and enjoy simple things? why am I such a failure etc etc.. this just keeps me in a spiral of bad thoughts and feelings and really doesnt help at all. Your doing well only day 7 of the meds, but Im sure that you'll start to feel better soon if you keep putting the hard work in. Good luck x

[becksfan86]

Hi Hazie, you sound like me, im feeling good for a while and so positive for the day, and then something will happen and il go to rock bottom again and back to square one, i dont know why it happens it gets me so down that u have to start over again, day 7 of ur tablets? give it a bit more time, hope ur ok xxx

Charmainex

[haziefantasie]

Thank you so much for all your replies :-)

Yes I definately need to stop beating myself up, & learn to be kinder to myself. I still feel rubbish today really - I did manage to go to the doctors but couldnt wait to get home & lie down! Im sure the heat is getting to me, plus Im so tired all the time at the moment which doesnt help either. I have noticed a slight improvement since starting citalopram so fingers crossed the positivity will last longer next time! x

[becksfan86]

Hi
Glad there is a slight improvement, the heat gets to me too, its sets me off. I really dont like this time of year x

[worried 101]

Totally can relate to this, one day I feel really happy that im finally out of a massive low and then i go right back down or have feelings of real panic and anxiety.Its a horrible feeling,so can really sympathise!Now I find I am just waiting to go down again when Im on a high moment because I know its coming!But alot of people have said to me that I beat mysellf up to much and im come really far to actually admit that I have problems that I have been hiding for years.So all I can say to you is give your self credit for what you have achieved!It all takes time, theres not going to be a quick solution, and dont get disheartend, just going out for a walk is a big deal for many!you will probably experience alot of high and lows which I think everyone does but just try to ride the lows out, even though I know how much it sucks!
Hope this helps.
xxx