MarieS
05-07-11, 11:57
Hello. My name is Marie Shuck. I have been taking medication for depression, acid reflux and hormonal swings for a couple of years. The hormonal medication is not prescribed, I buy magnesium over the counter and it works magnificently for me. I have recently moved to Sweden from the UK to be with my boyfriend.
I have previously suffered panic attacks. They are strangely more common when I am in a relationship. I was single for four years until December 2010 and I think I had only one panic attack in all that time. I am not even sure they are called panic attacks, as I don't think I am going to die, but I am in a state where I know the panic attack WILL happen no matter how much I try to keep a lid on it, and I am afraid of the trigger when I am in public. I get waves of despair, a desire to escape, the build up of a teary outburst which is hard to control and requires looking anywhere but at people's faces. They of course wonder what is going on and you feel more and more of a fool and it just makes everything worse. I feel stupid, I let my partner down and he is unsure how I will react to anything that is new, particularly meeting other people who are good looking and self assured as I feel more self conscious than usual around them.
Controlling a panic attack can take the entire day, even after the 'danger' has passed and I will do anything to avoid talking about how I am feeling because bringing it out in the open causes me to burst into tears - and how do I explain that?
All it takes is one moment in which a social blip occurs - such as someone not laughing at my joke, meeting a new person who frowns at me or doesn't understand my language, someone talking over me... things like this and then I know how the rest of the day is going to be - fighting off a panic attack.
All right I said a lot there.
I have previously suffered panic attacks. They are strangely more common when I am in a relationship. I was single for four years until December 2010 and I think I had only one panic attack in all that time. I am not even sure they are called panic attacks, as I don't think I am going to die, but I am in a state where I know the panic attack WILL happen no matter how much I try to keep a lid on it, and I am afraid of the trigger when I am in public. I get waves of despair, a desire to escape, the build up of a teary outburst which is hard to control and requires looking anywhere but at people's faces. They of course wonder what is going on and you feel more and more of a fool and it just makes everything worse. I feel stupid, I let my partner down and he is unsure how I will react to anything that is new, particularly meeting other people who are good looking and self assured as I feel more self conscious than usual around them.
Controlling a panic attack can take the entire day, even after the 'danger' has passed and I will do anything to avoid talking about how I am feeling because bringing it out in the open causes me to burst into tears - and how do I explain that?
All it takes is one moment in which a social blip occurs - such as someone not laughing at my joke, meeting a new person who frowns at me or doesn't understand my language, someone talking over me... things like this and then I know how the rest of the day is going to be - fighting off a panic attack.
All right I said a lot there.