Advice please?

[phillipa]

Hello, my name is Phillipa. I am new here, so hope i am posting in the right place. I would like some advice please wherever possible.
I currently work in Insurance, and for the past twelve months or so, I have had upset stomach every morning (5/6 times before i leave the house) which i know is caused by nerves and anxiety about going to work. My main issue at work is my Manager, who I have to work with 6 days a week. I have let this issue slide, thinking it normal, until very recently. I got sick, vomiting and diarahhea, for 3 days and was due to a bug. However after getting better the morning nerves for work have increased, and have started to have panic attacks about going to work. I think this is because i am pre-empting the reaction from my manager about my sickness. However this has got the point that on one day whilst on the way to work i was overcome with panic and was unable to move any further closer to work. So much so i had to ring my mother hyperventilating and crying uncontrollably. She had called in sick for me, and i arranged a doctors appointment for the same day. The doctor has signed me off for 3 days to 'recover' and i have been sent for tests to find out if anything else causing the morning bowel probs. Unfortunatley my 3 days sign off finishes this thursday, and i am already having panic attacks and fearing going back to work on thursday. I feel completely out of control and i just do not know what i should do. I do have an appointment with a therapist, but other than that i am stuck. The thought of going to work is causing me to lose sleep, worsening my stomach upset and causing me great distress. Any advice please?

[london]

you not got that job as a favor to you , you work there because your earn them money. let them know that
and he keeps on at you warn him then report the bully
no one should live in fear
go bless xx

[phillipa]

Its not a fear of the job, and she is not a particularly scary manager. Being the sensitive soul that i am (!) she has just blindsided me with her total lack of human skills and compassion and sent me into a mess. I can't report for bullying as she hasn't, its just her and the way she is, which isn't very nice. I feel childish and a bit pathetic, which is feeding my anxiety even more.

[debs71]

Hi philippa,

I think from what you say that the issue for you is less so your bowel problems and more your work anxiety which is doubtless causing your bowel problems.

Did you mention this to your doctor or was it just your bowel issues you discussed as I would guess the root cause needs addressing. I would hasten a guess not, as from what you say it appears they are looking at your bowel prob rather than what sounds like horrible anxiety about your manager and work.

I would go back to your GP asap and discuss EVERYTHING if you can. In terms of your work well sod them. Something is contributing to your nerves pre work and you must look after yourself first. I know that work/money is clearly important but if it is becoming such a cause of anxiety to you it is only inhibiting your ability to work anyway.

I know exactly how you feel as I too had awful managers who had zero patience for any sickness time and caused me further stress. I often think that on the job spec for managers is 'zero people skills and a cold heart essential'

Please do go back to your GP and let them know the full story. They would not have advised only 3 days off (which is not enough for you clearly right now) had they known how anxious you are and the extent of your anxiety and panic attacks.

Keep us posted and take care.xx:hugs:

[phillipa]

thank you for replying to my post. I did tell my doctor everything including the bowel probs and the worsening anxiety about work to an extensive level, ( i am sure the doc appreciated my crying). But i was only signed off for three days and recommended an NHS counselling service (called RETHINK). However the doctor told me to make an appointment with my own therapist first which will be more comfortable for me. I have been signed off before with depression/anxiety over work 2 years ago, was pre-scribed citrolopram and signed off for a total of 3 months, and the doctor bought up these notes to see my history of illness, but still suggested 3 days. I am stumped and feel desperately out of control. I am panicing so much about going back this thursday and worried going back to the doctors would be futile as just didn't seem to want to help me. Any further advice? I don't want to just quit and not get paid ( i know money isn't everything), but cannot face even stepping foot back in the office. If i go get signed off for longer, i worry this isn't going to help me get any better. I am confused about my options.

[debs71]

Phillipa, time can help you get better, if your anxiety symptoms and the root causes of your anxiety are addressed as well, otherwise you will just feel the initial lessening of your symptoms knowing you have time off, but will find them probably rising again when you are due to return to work.

At the moment it sounds like work is just contributing too much to your anxiety and getting you nowhere except downhill. Sometimes no matter how hard we battle our anxiety and strive to go into work whilst feeling absolutely dreadful, we just reach a point where WE HAVE to take time out and really tackle the anxiety.

I really suspect that you need some time out, even if it is a couple of weeks or so.xxx:hugs:

[Tyke]

Hi Phillipa

Did the Citalopram you had before help? If it did then could you just ask to go back on it? Could you see a different doctor? Given your history I'm a bit surprised they aren't looking at it more from an anxiety/depression viewpoint and perhaps offering some medication. Maybe another doctor would see things differently? I think Debs is right, you don't seem ready for work and time out with proper treatment would most likely be the best way forward.

Tyke