Boyfriend asked me to choose

[Eva May]

I don't really know where to put this but I need advice. I'm thinking of taking out a loan of 10,000 to buy a car. My boyfriend is against me taking out so much money, he thinks it will add to my stress so basically he's just after saying to me that I'm going to have to choose between him and the car. I don't know what to do, on the one hand the idea of not having him is making me very anxious but on the other hand I'm not sure how I would feel about him if I gave into him over this.

[anxietyoverload]

Re paying a loan can be sooo stressful, and im sure your Boyfriend only wants the best for you, it seems to be he is looking out for you, not making you choose, can you not get a car on finance? x

[Eva May]

My parents said they would help me out if things got too much with it though

[DontPanicMrMannering]

Just ask yourself why you want the car at £10,000, is it just Retail Therapy ?http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retail_therapy do you want to spend to make yourself feel better? I have done it myself once the initial high wears off you are back were you started but in deeper debt, your boyfriend may actually be trying to help you, just stop and think first.

Dale xx

[Eva May]

Well I need a new car my current one is on it's last legs and I need a car that is reliable because I depend so much on my car and I need to feel confident in it or else I'll be too anxious to go anywhere

[anxietyoverload]

well this is completely your choice, but before you make your choice why dont you sit down with your boyfriend and ask him why he thinks you wont cope, maybe the two of you can come up with another way.

I know myself that i wouldnt ever take out a loan, because my friends are so stressed paying them back years down the line, but if you feel your self that you can cope then do it.

But remember that your boyfriend may not be making you choose, he might just want the best for you, and for you not to be under any more stress x

[suzy-sue]

I think compromise is the way forward with this one Eva ..You can buy reliable cars for a lot less than that ammount .As for relying on your parents ,that s something you shouldnt do IMO .Buying something at a more realisic price would give you less stress and not cause all this unecessary grief with your fella .After all he has your best interests at heart from the sound of it ...Sue

[Nicky32]

He's trying to make you see sense from his perspective by giving you an ultimatum. He cares for you by the looks of it. Listen to him.

Buy a car for £1000 problem solved.

[xhyperyogix]

yeah i agree, defo buy a cheaper car, even though i'm sure the ten grand one is fabby!! xx

[london]

if you want get it lifes to short
god bless

[Magic]

Hi Eva May,
Have you taken into account how much interest you will be paying back for this car if you have a loan? :shrug:
good luck in what ever you decide

[Eva May]

Thanks for all the replies guys. I don't think he means to be controlling and I think he genuinely is worried but what a sh1t way to go about it. I told him I don't want something like this to come between us but that I won't be told how to manage my life or my finances. I have a lot of things to worry about but thankfully I am managing to get by financially so that's not one of the things. This whole thing just reminded me of my ex and I used to fold as soon as he opened his mouth to me so I guess my anxiety levels shot up and my confidence came into question. Think we're ok for now anyway :)

[macc noodle]

Just one question "you are managing to get by financially" you say - why not just save the monthly loan repayment for a period of time and see how easy it is to make that commitment before you go and borrow the money.

£10K gets you a nice car but also big repayments !

If you find saving this amount each month easy, then maybe you can demonstrate this to you bf.

Also, maybe he is nervous about borrowing money because he has first hand experience of financial difficulties and he is only concerned that you dont suffer more.

:)

[LucyR]

Hi, I have to say my feelings on this one are, if you cannot afford the £10,000 outright avoid loans, they are a trap for the unwary.

[blueangel]

I think I'm going to chip in with what nearly everyone else has said - £10K is a lot of money. Well. it's a lot of money to me and I've got a reasonably good job.

I know you're annoyed with the way your boyfriend's expressed it, and I can really understand that as I hate being told what to do, but try to look at the bigger picture:

* you'll pay back much more than £10K
* cars go down in value very quickly, so you're putting the money into something that will never be worth what you've paid for it
* you can get a reliable car for much, much less money - when my current car goes to the Big Garage in the Sky, I'll probably pay about £1,200-£1,500 for one
* paying a lot of money for a car doesn't guarantee reliability, believe me. Do some research on car reviews for the ones that break down the least
* while you're paying for this loan, there's a lot of other things that you won't be able to afford - think of all the holiday you could get by saving the money instead!! :flowers: