ivegone!
07-07-11, 17:18
Hi my story is a long one so I will keep it as short and sweet and straight to the point.
Ive had panic disorder for 11 years, Im 28 married with a 6 year old and a baby who is 1 next week.
I have bad phases and good ones. In am currently into month 4 of the worst ive ever been.
I feel panicy 24/7 7 days a week and have been like this for over 3 months now.
I have improved in recent weeks I manage to stop a full blown panic attack before i get to the point of no return but they are still very bad. when this all started really bad i couldnt move off the couch could eat etc. My symptoms are no better and i push my self to do what i need to to get by. eg shower, eat, cook.
My husband had to take time off work on the sick.
He went back on Monday. This is what my problem is.
I hate being on my own, 5 minutes i just to say cope but anymore and it magnifies every feeling I have and terrifies me to the point i really cant cope. I end up so terrified i am paralysed and just cant move, speak etc.
My husbands first day on Monday was a short 9-5 shift he left home at 8.15 and returned aT 5.30, he normally leaves home at 7.am and returns agt 8.30pm. His manager has put him on one day on one day off for this month.
I pretty much filled the day in from 9-3 with company (not an easy thing) and to be honest i still felt bad., then by 4 i had to ring my mam screaming and crying completely freaking out i could hardly speak to her it was that bad.
So tommorow i have 13 and a half hours on my own to deal with and I am so so scared.
My symptoms are I think just about the whole list feeling like i will collapse, derealisation and my eyes are the 3 i cant cope with the most especially not when im alone. i know they wont harm me but the feelings are so intense i really cant cope alone. i dont drive have no friends or family nearby other than my mum and 1 friend who lives at other side of town. I feel so trapped.
I have arranged for my mum to come over and us go to town ( i must be crazy at least the odd time ive braved it with my hubby if it gets too much i can jump back in the car and go but tommorw we will be going on the bus !) so that will take up about 3 hours. I really cant bare the thought of being alone the rest of the time.
I am worse in the house but when i go out walking like taking my son to school i feel dreadful to the point i never know how i got from a to b)
The feelings are so intense and i can only just get through the day with my husband here and spending a large part of the day out in the car somewhere.
Any ideas of how i can cope at home alone for all them hours? distraction can work when im not alone but when i try to distract on my own i end up having a massive panic attack for some reason. i know how to keep calm etc but its just not something i can do when im alone.
Sorry was meant to be short
Angela
Ive had panic disorder for 11 years, Im 28 married with a 6 year old and a baby who is 1 next week.
I have bad phases and good ones. In am currently into month 4 of the worst ive ever been.
I feel panicy 24/7 7 days a week and have been like this for over 3 months now.
I have improved in recent weeks I manage to stop a full blown panic attack before i get to the point of no return but they are still very bad. when this all started really bad i couldnt move off the couch could eat etc. My symptoms are no better and i push my self to do what i need to to get by. eg shower, eat, cook.
My husband had to take time off work on the sick.
He went back on Monday. This is what my problem is.
I hate being on my own, 5 minutes i just to say cope but anymore and it magnifies every feeling I have and terrifies me to the point i really cant cope. I end up so terrified i am paralysed and just cant move, speak etc.
My husbands first day on Monday was a short 9-5 shift he left home at 8.15 and returned aT 5.30, he normally leaves home at 7.am and returns agt 8.30pm. His manager has put him on one day on one day off for this month.
I pretty much filled the day in from 9-3 with company (not an easy thing) and to be honest i still felt bad., then by 4 i had to ring my mam screaming and crying completely freaking out i could hardly speak to her it was that bad.
So tommorow i have 13 and a half hours on my own to deal with and I am so so scared.
My symptoms are I think just about the whole list feeling like i will collapse, derealisation and my eyes are the 3 i cant cope with the most especially not when im alone. i know they wont harm me but the feelings are so intense i really cant cope alone. i dont drive have no friends or family nearby other than my mum and 1 friend who lives at other side of town. I feel so trapped.
I have arranged for my mum to come over and us go to town ( i must be crazy at least the odd time ive braved it with my hubby if it gets too much i can jump back in the car and go but tommorw we will be going on the bus !) so that will take up about 3 hours. I really cant bare the thought of being alone the rest of the time.
I am worse in the house but when i go out walking like taking my son to school i feel dreadful to the point i never know how i got from a to b)
The feelings are so intense and i can only just get through the day with my husband here and spending a large part of the day out in the car somewhere.
Any ideas of how i can cope at home alone for all them hours? distraction can work when im not alone but when i try to distract on my own i end up having a massive panic attack for some reason. i know how to keep calm etc but its just not something i can do when im alone.
Sorry was meant to be short
Angela