My lymph node saga: input appreciated

[TooWorried]

I've been reading this forum for awhile, but this is my first post. Health anxiety has been a huge problem for me for quite awhile now. I could write a long (and depressing) list of all the ailments I thought I might have, but I'll save that for another post. Anyway, my lymph nodes have continued to be at the top of my list of concerns. I first noticed some swollen lymph nodes in my neck about a year ago. I went to the doctor, and she sent me for an ultrasound of the nodes. It came back normal. They didn't shrink, and I continued to find more. Most are small and movable, but there's one on the back of my neck that's quite large. I was still concerned, so I went to an ENT, who sent me for a CT scan. That also came back normal. Awhile later, I found (what I think) are swollen nodes in my elbows and also around my collarbone. The ones around my collarbone are very small, movable, and the entire area is tender. I completely freaked b/c I think all of us with lymph node worries know that the collarbone is not a good place for them to appear. My GP said there were "no juicy ones he would want to biopsy" but ran a lot of blood work and also sent me for a PET scan to "reassure me that there are no hidden cancers or lymphomas." Again, everything came back normal. This was back in April. So why do I still worry about these lymph nodes and why won't they just go away? Thanks so much for any input and I'm sorry for such a long, rambling post!

[kibbutz83]

Hi, I've had swollen lymph nodes under my arm and on my collarbone for 2 years now :( My gp says they're "nothing to worry about" and could be related to menopause... you've made me worry more now as I wasn't aware that the ones around the collarbone are more sinister :( I just have to trust that my gp knows what she's talking about, as there's not much I can do about it...

[TooWorried]

Thanks so much for replying. I'm sorry I made you worry. If your nodes have been there for two years, I don't think you need to worry. If something worrisome was going on, you'd know it by now. Mine haven't been swollen (or at least I didn't know it) for that long. I'm glad that others can chronically swollen lymph nodes that aren't connected to anything sinister. I am the worst about googling and diagnosing myself with the worst possible diseases. Again, thanks for taking the time to read my post and replying.

[TooWorried]

Anybody else? Sorry to bump my own post, but these lymph nodes are driving me insane. I can feel them rubbing against my shirt...or maybe it's my imagination, but it still drives me nuts!

[sophiethestar]

I'm in a similar situation. I've only had one blood test however. It was normal. :) I'm obsessed with checking them and then I make them hurt by prodding and I really need to stop. I feel like I have millions of swollen lymph nodes in my neck, but when I think about it, they may not even be swollen, and they may not even be lymph nodes. Lymph nodes are always there, and unless you've got a really fat neck, you should be able to feel them, whether they are swollen or not. :p And another thing to remember is, inside our necks there are a lot of things- bones, muscles etc, so not every bump you feel will be a lymph node. :)

[TooWorried]

Thanks Sophie! I'm not completely sure that all of mine are actually swollen or just palpable. Some of them, I'm quite sure are swollen. My husband thinks I'm nuts....he's probably right!

[kibbutz83]

I doubt if you're nuts... you just have heightened anxiety :( There's always a good reason why we have the anxiety in the first place too...

[Almost_there]

I also have couple of lymph nodes that don't go away, blood work all normal and I don't even have cold/allergy anything! One of them is itchy as well which really freaking me out I don't know if it's me touching it makes it itch or if smth is wrong with it?! Arghhh I hate being worried about them... Do you think touching them can make them itch? I guess as long as they don't grow you r ok!

[Markooos]

Hey,
Thought i had to input

I'm currenly of sick with Health anxiety and major depression since i had a breakdown 4 weeks ago,
It all started with a lymph node in my neck i found one day from an itch 3 and a half years ago at age 26 ,i went to the doctors who said it was nothing to worry about, then last year i got pain in my shoulder and down my right arm i convinced myself it was lymphoma i went back to doctors who sent me to hospital for pain in shoulder questioning everything from a stroke to fabrys disease. This made my anxiety go through the roof i start to push the lymph every 2 mins til it hurts then convine myself its cancer and i'm going to die. I am still undergoing tests for shoulder but thinks this is anxiety too

My only advice is try and ignore it because i would hate anyone to be going through whats in my mind at moment if only we had a fast forward button to get thru the bad times

Take care and chin up

[sophiethestar]

Mine itch too, but I've noticed that they are only itching when I'm most anxious and thinking about my lymph nodes. If I'm not thinking about them I can't feel any itchiness. So I don't think the itchiness is much to be worried about. :)

[TooWorried]

Thanks everybody. It helps so much to know I'm not alone with this! It's hard to believe that this could all be due to anxiety, but the constant stress and worry definitely don't help anything. It's amazing that I can look at other people's posts and think rationally and truly believe that you are all fine but the doubt about my own health is always there. Just rambling now I think.

[zsqwax]

Hii! im a 17 year old male, ive had swollen lymphnodes in my neck and groin area for about 2 years now, some under my chin, they are everywhere, freaks me out like! I get no other symptoms... but its the fact that they are there, there must be a reason? or is it possible to have permanently swollen lymphnodes? x

[Almost_there]

Does anyone else gets itchy skin in the area where the lymph node is? I've made a fetal mistake googling it and now I'm cared to death! It's itching around my jaw where my lymph node is I don't know if it's cos I've touched it or what...

[Mogwog]

Hi Chick

I know i've put all this in my pm to you but I thought i'd put it on here incase it can help someone else.

I have a node in my collarbone the size of a pea and I completely lost it as I had previoulsy read on the internet(whilst googling for some other illness) that you shouldn't be able to feel the nodes in your collarbone unless you are very ill. Well this is absolute rubbish!!!! I have had about 5 different Drs look at this node and each have said that there is nothing to worry about and that the only time they would think there was a problem would be if it was massive. One of the Drs even said she coud feel the nodes in her collarbone and that she isn't worried. This was back in Dec for me and i'm still here (with other worries!!!) but the node hasn't changed in size or anything so I just don't worry about it anymore, it took me a while to get over it and believe that I was ok, but really, there is nothing to worrry about and google is not your friend.

I hope i've helped reassure somebody

Rachel - I hope you are ok lovely.

L.xxxxx

[GlassPinata]

Anybody else? Sorry to bump my own post, but these lymph nodes are driving me insane. I can feel them rubbing against my shirt...or maybe it's my imagination, but it still drives me nuts!

I'm having lymph node-related health anxiety at the moment. I've been reading through posts on the subject here, because googling the actual symptom leads me to things that make me feel worse.... reading the posts here makes me feel less alone, less crazy, and more hopeful; I mean, so MANY of us scared about neck lumps, and not a one has come back to say it was cancer?

I wanted to tell you that this post of yours made me laugh until I cried, and then laugh again, and then cry again.... and right now I'm sitting here giggling with tears on my cheeks and I haven't felt my neck lump in like five minutes, and how cool is that?? :D

It's funny because I'm dealing with the exact same thing.... sitting here stretching out the collar of my teeshirt so that it doesn't "touch" the lymph node on my neck (and who cares if it does, really? I just know that i don't want it to. Apparently my shirt collar touching it would be a really bad thing, whereas me poking and prodding it with my fingers for the past three days until my neck is red and swollen is just fine and dandy...).
Reading it set down in words the way you did, made me realize how really, truly insane this is. It's funny, because our thought processes are crazy, they're just garbage. But it's sad too- and that's why I'm crying as well as laughing- because this is REAL, and it rules my life, and has for all the years I can remember, even back to childhood.

I've had lymph node anxiety before, several times over the years (different lump, different spot), but this time is the worst, maybe because my mental state is deteriorating.... maybe because i'm older now, at 44 I am of an age where these things I have always feared are no longer outside the realm of possibility, as they were when i was, say, a teenager, and already worrying about them. Also I guess it's worse because I am a single mom now, of a young child... a very old mom, to a very young child, who I had at age 40, after my others were already grown and gone. I don't want to leave him, it's terrifying, it's so sad. Jesus. Why do our brains torment us this way?
But yeah, in case I didn't mention it, I found a neck lump. I am certain it is a lymph node. It's mid-way down, left side of my neck.... closer to my shoulder than my head, but barely. Very much on the left side, with no correlating lump on the other side. I found it by accident, rubbing my neck the other day. I am sure it is new, because i often rub my neck and would've felt it before. I have not been sick lately. I do not know how big this lymph node is, but it's quite easy to feel. Not hard, not soft. Realistically, I'd say it's pretty small, but as it's sort of sitting on top of a muscle right under the skin, and because i'm skinny, it feels very prominent. WHY would it just pop out of nowhere to destroy my life? It is inconceivable that it's "always been there"; I know it has not. I'm scared. I'm glad other people have survived this fear, and apparently lived. I'm glad there is a site like this, where I can talk to them. I wish you all the best. <3 GP

[GlassPinata]

An update on my situation. I was able to abstain from touching my lymph node from about 8 o'clock last night until now (noon).
That was the first time I've stopped touching it in days.
I finally did touch it just now (very lightly) and it is of course still there, BUT it seems much less "alarming" than it did yesterday, when I was in the grip of panic. It is definitely smaller than one cm, not too hard, I can't tell if it's mobile or not.
While I was touching it over and over the other day, it seemed to be growing much larger, and I was beginning to find other masses or nodes around it, as well.
Now it's back to just the one node, and it seems pretty small. I dont know if I actually made it bigger by touching it the other day, or if I just imagined it was bigger than it was.
It's definitely smaller than my fingertip- my fingertip can cover the whole thing up. So it can't be larger than one cm, because my fingertip isn't that big. But I swear, yesterday it felt as big as a gumball.

HA can sure mess with one's perceptions. :weep: