Amelia80
08-07-11, 16:15
Hello everyone,
For the first time in months, I have managed to find some peace in my day. I've been reading through many of the posts on here and it's incredibly comforting to find that there are others out there in a similar situation.
My name is Amelia and I'm 30 years old. I've always been a very nervous person. At university, I used to struggle to read out loud in seminars without breaking out in sweats and hyperventilating. I couldn't eat in restaurants or in front of others because I'd shake uncontrollably, unable to hold a fork or drink. Looking back, I never considered these episodes to be 'panic attacks'. I knew what the triggers were. I was a nervous person who lacked confidence and I was scared of looking stupid or messing something up.However, somehow I managed to conquer it. I went on to become a teacher and life was great.
Then, three months ago, I had a 'real' panic attack and I didn't know what had hit me. Everything was fine, I didn't seem to be stressed about anything and the first one came when I was simply sitting on the sofa watching tv. I have had so many since then and I'm now in the thick of Health Anxiety. Only two nights ago I had the paramedics out because I was convinced I was dying.
I suppose what's thrown me so badly is the fact that they come on so suddenly, out of the blue, with no apparent cause. My husband cannot understand and keeps telling me to snap out of it but I keep trying to explain how physical the symptoms are. In my mind I feel great, which adds to the fear that I really do have a physical condition.
I have two beautiful children but my days (and nights) are consumed by the fear of dying from something awful and leaving them. I'm in a mess!
On a positive note, I have found this website and I'm so grateful for it.
Although even now I'm telling myself that I'll be the one on here who really does have a terrible illness rather than anxiety! I feel like I'm slowly going crazy.
Sorry for babbling on. If you've read this far, thank you, and I'm looking forward to getting to know others.
Amelia x
For the first time in months, I have managed to find some peace in my day. I've been reading through many of the posts on here and it's incredibly comforting to find that there are others out there in a similar situation.
My name is Amelia and I'm 30 years old. I've always been a very nervous person. At university, I used to struggle to read out loud in seminars without breaking out in sweats and hyperventilating. I couldn't eat in restaurants or in front of others because I'd shake uncontrollably, unable to hold a fork or drink. Looking back, I never considered these episodes to be 'panic attacks'. I knew what the triggers were. I was a nervous person who lacked confidence and I was scared of looking stupid or messing something up.However, somehow I managed to conquer it. I went on to become a teacher and life was great.
Then, three months ago, I had a 'real' panic attack and I didn't know what had hit me. Everything was fine, I didn't seem to be stressed about anything and the first one came when I was simply sitting on the sofa watching tv. I have had so many since then and I'm now in the thick of Health Anxiety. Only two nights ago I had the paramedics out because I was convinced I was dying.
I suppose what's thrown me so badly is the fact that they come on so suddenly, out of the blue, with no apparent cause. My husband cannot understand and keeps telling me to snap out of it but I keep trying to explain how physical the symptoms are. In my mind I feel great, which adds to the fear that I really do have a physical condition.
I have two beautiful children but my days (and nights) are consumed by the fear of dying from something awful and leaving them. I'm in a mess!
On a positive note, I have found this website and I'm so grateful for it.
Although even now I'm telling myself that I'll be the one on here who really does have a terrible illness rather than anxiety! I feel like I'm slowly going crazy.
Sorry for babbling on. If you've read this far, thank you, and I'm looking forward to getting to know others.
Amelia x