Developed a huge crush on someone, causing anxiety/depression...

[87sal87]

Hey guys,
I haven't been on here for awhile because I've been feeling a lot better until recently.
Things just seem to be getting on top of me again.
I've developed a huge 'crush' on a friend of a friend. They introduced me to him last week & as soon as I saw/met him, it was like 'love at first sight'.
He's one of the most gorgeous men I've ever seen & my stomach flips at just the thought of him...
I can't be around him without feeling anxious & it's causing me to make excuses not to go out incase I see him.

He's a very nice guy & everything I look for in a man & more. But, he's got a girlfriend who he's been with awhile & he seems very happy with her & I'm not stupid & deluded enough to think he'd even look at me twice.
I have confided in one of my friends about it & she didn't take it too seriously, she said she thinks I'm very pretty & if I 'opened up more' - I could find someone of my own. But we all know that's easier said than done.

Now, he's all I think about - it's effecting my eating & sleep habits, which in turn is causing anxiety & I'm feeling so depressed because I just wish I could be with someone like him & just be happy. :weep:

I'm confirmed to be going to University in September to do a Theatre & Performance foundation degree. It took a LOT for me to get to that stage & at the moment I'm worried I'm going to relapse & not be able to go...or I'm not going to be able to handle it. Nothing is helping at the moment.

Maybe all the stress of all this is causing me to cling to this guy? I'm 24 & feel stupid for having a silly school girl crush, it's rare I get this like but it's been worse since I started suffering from anxiety. I always worry I'm going to turn into some kind of stalker.

His band is playing at a local club tomorrow night & I've been invited - I've cancelled so many things with my friends lately that if I cancel again, it's going to make it obvious, plus with one of my friends already knowing & I'm scared she's going tell him...

But I can't face it, I can't face him...I keep bursting into tears...& just feel so sad all the time.
I don't really know why I've shared this but it has helped to rant/get it off my chest...& any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks guys.

[Tyke]

Hi Sal

Going to University is a major upheaval and will be stressing you out. Maybe you saw this guy at a difficult time for you, when you really could have done with someone. He seemed real nice and you just started to develop a crush on him because you felt you were missing out on having someone special in your life. If he is happy with his current relationship and you are going away to uni it is probably best not pursued.

You will meet loads of people at uni and will have plenty of common interests with students on the same course. Get about when you start and join whatever you can to get to meet people. It is a great opportunity to meet someone who can return your affections properly whilst giving yourself a good chance of a better future.

Keep going out with your friends and don't let these friendships suffer as the result of a crush. Friends are the ones who will be there for you as you settle down into your new student life.

Tyke :)

[macc noodle]

Sorry but I think that the crush scenario has become your focus and a reason why you can't/don't want to do things with your friends. It is actually your anxiety manifesting itself rather than the crush on this bloke.

What is wrong with fancying someone unattainable? People do it all the time with stars and celebrities!!!!!

Don't over analyse it - just get on with living your life as if you had never met him -you have so much to look forward to - you have made great strides in getting your Uni course and I am sure you will have a fantastic time there.

:)

[87sal87]

Thanks guys. I'm sad to say I have been avoiding things because of him & I'm always overthinking things. My friend more or less said the same, that it'll pass & you'll laugh about it in a year's time.
I just hope you are all right... :)