Struggling with group therapy

[charliepanayi]

I started group psychotherapy last month and after 4-5 sessions I really don't feel it's for me. I've barely spoken during the sessions (unless asked something) and have ventured virtually nothing personal about myself. There are two major problems - most of the group are nothing like me really in terms of their problems, and (most importantly) I have realised I am very uncomfortable with sharing personal issues with the other people in the group, I just can't do it. And I don't think it will get easier as time goes on.

I could quit but I don't want to really go back to my GP and say for the third time (I tried CBT on the NHS before which was OK while it lasted, but I lapsed once it was over) that I am looking for some help for my anxiety etc. Not to mention how long it can take to find anything on the NHS. I could look for something private, but would be worried about picking a therapist and the cost would probably be too much, I can just about afford this group as it is.

I was thinking of talking to the person running the group in private during the group's summer break, just not sure whether I should throw in the towel now or not. What should I do?

[Ingenious]

There's a strong argument to say you should continue anyway - you might get something, anything, from one of the sessions. You may find in one of the sessions it all "clicks". Unless you feel the sessions are having a detrimental effect (in which case personally I would consider stopping) there's nothing to lose from carrying on.

I've been offered group sessions too (for depression) but never went for much the same reasons, I don't think I'd really want to open up to a group of people - that's just not me - and in that case what's the point?

Every type of therapy really is geared towards different people and different circumstances, you should in no way feel you have to make it work. Sometimes you just have to cross it off the list and try something else.

[ElizabethJane]

Hello Charlie. Is the group therapy private or NHS? Group psychotherapy is a bit of a rarity these days. This is because it is so expensive and the commitment to the group is usually between one to two years. It can take a while to feel any benefit from the group. The 'therapy' is the relationships between the various members within the group. It is hoped that you will use the group to work out issues that have brought you to the group. These could include emotional attachment, transference, letting go of emotions/old patterns of behaviour and eventually leaving the group. A 'good' group will allow all these things to happen and the therapist(S) will facilitate and interpret what is happening in the group. This can only happen if you feel able to trust the other members of the group. It might take a while to understand what is happening in the group and it isn't for everyone. You might find that you become quite attached to some members of the group and dislike others. I would definitely talk to the therapist about the group but he might only want to hear about your feelings about the group in the group! I have had a lot of experience of psychotherapy in groups both as an in-patient and out-patient. Best of luck. EJ.

[charliepanayi]

It's private Elizabeth, I was referred by the NHS as they had no groups available.

[ElizabethJane]

If you terminate your membership of the group early will you still have to pay? EJ

[ElizabethJane]

I would try to stick with it if the therapist is good. Try to talk in the group as much as possible you have nothing to lose. I apperciate that belonging to a therapy group can seem a scary prospect. I'm not sure if I was seeking therapy now whether I would want it to be in a group or one to one? Many years ago I had the opportunity to join an NHS psychotherapy group.The only problem was it was a thirty mile round trip and I have a driving phobia. All my energy was involved in trying to drive to the group. I eventually left the group. The hospital has now closed down. I would suggest that you still go for it but if you are deciding to leave then talk about it in the group first. EJ.

[Spy]

Hi Charlie,

I did group therapy and thought much the same initially, its takes a while for the group to settle. I have to say that it helped an enormous amount but its takes time and comittment, but I was really glad I stayed with it.

xx

[charliepanayi]

If you terminate your membership of the group early will you still have to pay? EJ

I don't think so

[~glowly worm~]

Hey Charlie,

do you think you could tell the group how you are feeling about not being able to talk? Even if you just say 'i'm thinking of leaving'? It can be really hard ot even say that but you might find others have felt or feel the same and even that can help you feel more connected?

Otherwise, talking to the group leader as you suggested does sound a good plan. I once told mine something i couldnt have shared with the group and it was the best thing i could have done.

Wishing the best for you,

~glow~