Do you experience existential/death anxiety and how does it affect you?

[befuddled1]

I saw a social worker today and made some attempt to explain to him that I have episodes of death anxiety in my life and I would like to find a way to better deal with these.
He said that he doubted that there were many people who hadn't woken at 2 in the morning feeling afraid and aware of their own death. I said if so many people did do this why didn't they talk about it more. His reponse was that it was a taboo subject precisely because it is frightening for people. He told me I needed to be practical and enjoy life and commented that there are no 'atheists in foxholes'. This is exactly the sort of thing I don't need to hear. It makes me feel like I am being foolish in breaking taboo, like there's this big secret that no one's meant to talk about and I just don't get that. Everyone is living a lie, a shared fallacy, in their denial of the meaning and presence of death.
I don't mean to upset anyone with this. I hope I don't and if I do please tell me. But what this man said upset me. I don't want to live a lie. I don't want to pretend everything is ok when it is not. I don't want to sweep things under the carpet or lock them in the closet. I feel like he was laughing at me and it might be a nice little anecdote of the day to go away and tell his colleagues. Sometimes people get pleasure in talking about these things because it makes them feel they have depth or intelligence. I didn't trust that man and I wish he hadn't said those things. I feel my experiences are belittled. I feel like I'm not supposed to talk about it but it is all I want to talk about. I want to ask the people I work with and friends what they think and feel about dying but I fear I'd be breaking taboo, some great unwritten rule that must not be broken. Makes me feel sick.

[nomorepanic]

I can honestly say that I don't wake at 2am and fear death.

I would prefer to die quickly rather than some horrid drawn out illness though.

I did nearly die back in Sept 2008 when I survived a massive Crohn's flareup and a heart attack at the same time. Seeing as they reckon 1 in 3 will die from heart disease/heart attacks then I guess I am pretty lucky.

So I don't concentrate on dying I concentrate on living as we only have one life don't we?

I don't see why you can't talk about it though to be honest.

[kivyt73]

I have this same issue...i think about death and dying pretty much every day, usually at night though. I don't lay in bed often thinking about it but I almost get into a panic at the thought that time is going so fast, and I am getting older and older and that before I know it I will be old and on my deathbed. I also get freaked out by science and space and things like that, it is just so overwhelming. My therapist doesn't help much either, she doesn't make me feel silly or stupid but I think there really isn't anything anyone can say except live your life. I mean think about it, what can anyone really say to make it better? It is uncontrollable fact. I am a person of faith so I hope that I will be in heaven some day but I still fear the unknown. The only way I know how to deal with it is to just stop myself from thinking about it. I wish I could tell you something better but I don't know that there is a better response. I agree though that most people don't think much about it and for people like us that is hard to understand. I didn't think much about it in my teens and twenties but I do now in my thirties and approaching forty. It's hard, hang in there.
Ivy

[morganbird]

Hey
You are not alone. I fear death everyday and it does start to rule your life. I am so petrified of dyig I get panic attacks because of it, They say face your fears but obviously u cant face this fear. Its a visious circle and Its something I am trying to deal with. I hope you can to. I am currenly having hypno for my health anxiety and also having cbt and reiki tomorrow. Try it u may find it hepls
Hope this helps:hugs:
Stacey

[skygreen_leopard]

I dont fear death itself, for its no different to the million years (?) that i existed before birth. But the idea of dying from something painful / young is something that does scare the poop outta me.

Unfortunately death is inevitable though, everyone is going the same way. I have a quote from the buddha here which puts it in context:


Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

[Rachel W]

Hi all,

I used to do this a lot when I was a teenager. It is much rarer now that I am an adult, but reading this post brought back some of these feelings. Obviously it is something that we can't avoid, but as it is said above, I believe in God and hope that there will be an afterlife.

Sometimes I worry that we only believe because we need to, but then I remember all of the 'proof' that there is a God. It is easy to forget when we feel isolated and scared, but for those like me that have faith but are also plagued with doubts sometimes, I thought I would share some thoughts and experiences that have shown me that there really is a God.

Firstly, healings.
It is easy to think that perhaps the human body can heal itself if you believe enough, but there was a study done which is really interesting. A group in the US were told to pray for certain patients in a hospital in China. The patients were chosen randomly from a list, and they were not aware that they were being prayed for, and the doctors had no say which ones were, and also did not know which ones. It was shown that those individuals being prayed for recovered more quickly than those that were not.
Also, I know someone who spontaneously no longer needed to wear glasses after a healing service at church. This is definitely something that the mind could not do so quickly, especially as the person probably did not even think of their vision as they had been wearing glasses for years.

Secondly, speaking in tongues.
This is something that people think of as something from the bible or from crazy evangelists. I went to a small Church of England when I was a teenager and we used to have celebration services on a Friday evening. In one particularly lively service people all around started speaking in tongues. It was very scary but you could feel the energy. I started to pray, that my Mum didn't start, nor me...LOL I used to also go to a prayer meeting and our vicar was laying his hands on someone and he started speaking in tongues, and then someone was translating (technically people shouldn't speak in tongues unless there is someone that can translate).
I have seen footage of people speaking in tongues on YouTube and believe me, it does not sound like tongues to me at all. It sounds like gobbledegook. Tongues itself is fluid. It has the sound of a real language, not the repetitive sounds when people make up a language spontaneously. It also sounds the same each time. It is like when you hear German, or French. You know the language even if you don't speak it. Tongues that I have heard sounds like Hebrew/Arabic. I even asked the vicar once if he felt that it was real, or if it was his mind creating it (he was my friend's Dad so it was easy to talk to him), and he said that once he was asked to see if he could just come up with it and he couldn't.

Thirdly, dreams.
If there is no spiritual nature in this world then how can we have dreams that come true? I cannot say that I am psychic, but I have had dreams that have been pretty close. This is pretty sad, but I had two friends from work go to Scotland to study their Master's degree. They were both in their mid to late 20s. I dreamed that the girl passed away. The dream felt so real that I mentioned it when I went to work that day (by the way I am in the US so traveling to Scotland was a big deal). A few weeks later the guy passed away. I had dreamed about the wrong person, but it was close enough that it definitely wouldn't have been a coincidence. They were both healthy and young and there was no reason for this to be in my mind. He had back issues and was on meds and he had a pulmonary embolism. I only knew of his back issues.

Also, people have personal experiences of God. I know that He has helped me out, but I think I block personal experiences. I don't know why though. Also, although many Christians don't really believe in ghosts, my Nan saw her deceased Aunt leaning over the cot of her sick child and the next day the baby passed away (it was like she was coming back for her). Also, my Dad heard a doorbell go off (the kind that ring when the door opens in a shop) and he heard footsteps but no one was there. I also think that I saw someone come out on the landing once and switch the light off at the top of the stairs, just as I switched the light on at the bottom. I was so convinced that I ran up the stairs (after switching the light back on) and looked in the bedrooms, only to find that everyone was in the kitchen. It may have been that I hadn't switched the light on properly and then my imagination took over, but I was really convinced at the time. My Nan also saw her deceased father and sister walking down a road. She was an avid Christian and not crazy at all.

I don't know if this email will help some people who are like me. Believe but sometimes have doubts. I just don't think that many people would have such experiences if there wasn't something to it. Also, think of all the after-life experiences. I know that they say that a white light may be the brain shutting down, but this would not explain people learning new information that there is no way that they could have known.

Hope that this helps someone. Sorry if it wasn't appropriate to put this here.

[Rachel W]

Oh, and just an afterthought. I often wonder why God would want us to suffer these doubts, but then, just imagine if we knew for certain that we had an afterlife. How would we live this one?

[eight days a week]

There's a huge difference between 'most' people - who may be scared of death from time-to-time, and people who have periods of such serious death anxiety that it really impacts their lives.

I'm maybe a bit different from you in that I don't have spikes in anxiety about death, but that fear is always there. I can't get rid of it. I can't 'choose' not to have it. I think that it may be the underlying reason for my anxiety and panic attacks and I need to address it. I've been offered psychotherapy on the NHS, which I'm considering at the moment.

So, imho, your social worker is talking complete and utter nonsense, and should leave it to healthcare professionals.

[Rhys1879SAFC]

I used to worry about it but then told myself whats the point? Ultimately, we're all going to die, so why spend your life worrying about it? Just try and enjoy the time you have on this earth. I know its scary but it happens when it happens, I'm young, and still have so much more I want to do with my life, thinking positively about the future helps, before I die I want to get married, become a father, get a good job, go on holidays, attend many football matches and have many many many nights out with friends, still so much to look forward to. :)

I think with age comes a better understanding of life and you don't fear death as much when you get older.