Nessy41
13-07-11, 14:07
Hello to everyone
I have just joined today as I feel I need to convince myself it's not just me that feels panicky, scared and can see no end to this.
Twenty years ago I had gastro-enteritis and made the huge mistake of going to a town 20 miles away when I should have stayed at home. When my b/f and I got there, I badly needed to get to the toilet and found myself queuing in a department store toilet. Managed ok but was desperate to go back home. He wouldn't though, and I ended up curled in the back of the car just SO desperate to go back home. I had a major panic attack..I didn't know then what it was but I was terrified, felt tight in my throat and chest, almost in tears and wanting to both get out of the car and get home.
Well, it just set something off in me. No longer did I look forward to going places together. I used to think nothing of going abroad or driving places that were hours away. Every place just seemed too far to go, and I felt better if I drove myself rather than be driven. I stopped going abroad as I panicked so much at the airport and couldn't wait to get home once I arrived there.
Ten years ago I met my new partner and told him immediately about my problem/driving phobia as it's obviously the best thing to do when you are terrified of going places. At this point I was ok driving myself about in about a 20 mile radius as I knew I could turn round or get there and come home in my own time. However, I was terrified of both of us, even with me driving, going to the local retail park which is only 5 mins away!
To cut a long story short, I began to improve over the years, increasing the distances although I still can't face going abroad/trains/boats as I think, no way of getting off any of those! We have had two children together and I don't go great distances with them. We go camping usually within a 20 mile radius and once a year I put myself through the annual camping holiday which may be about 60/70 miles away.
The stupid thing is, I THINK I am going to have a panic attack, but I don't. I get anxious for weeks leading up to certain trips just imagining how back the trip is going to be., but I can get there and think great, I had a great trip! But the problem is, I just can't convince myself for the next trip out. It's a vicious circle.
This year I decided we would get married and booked a small registry do one month from that day. I was terrified on the build-up and on the morning itself, yes it was scary but totally disappeared with an hour to go.
However, I seem to have regressed badly in everything I do. The travel phobia has returned to going ten minutes down the road. I'm scared of other things now, besides the travel. It's like the terrible wedding nerves have put me back years and definitely triggered it off again. I am wondering (for the first time) whether I have some form of agrophobia?
I've been to the doctors last week and have an appointment with a worker who will decide which sort of therapy I should try. I would like to point out that I went to hypnotherapy twice and counselling about 7 years ago, but neither worked. After 18 years I asked for medicine and was given Diazepam. I actually made a pack of 28 last over two years as I was reluctant to take it.
I really look forward to receiving ideas and help from here. I just hate my situation, and waking up with knots in my stomach for no valid reasons is no way to carry on.
I have just joined today as I feel I need to convince myself it's not just me that feels panicky, scared and can see no end to this.
Twenty years ago I had gastro-enteritis and made the huge mistake of going to a town 20 miles away when I should have stayed at home. When my b/f and I got there, I badly needed to get to the toilet and found myself queuing in a department store toilet. Managed ok but was desperate to go back home. He wouldn't though, and I ended up curled in the back of the car just SO desperate to go back home. I had a major panic attack..I didn't know then what it was but I was terrified, felt tight in my throat and chest, almost in tears and wanting to both get out of the car and get home.
Well, it just set something off in me. No longer did I look forward to going places together. I used to think nothing of going abroad or driving places that were hours away. Every place just seemed too far to go, and I felt better if I drove myself rather than be driven. I stopped going abroad as I panicked so much at the airport and couldn't wait to get home once I arrived there.
Ten years ago I met my new partner and told him immediately about my problem/driving phobia as it's obviously the best thing to do when you are terrified of going places. At this point I was ok driving myself about in about a 20 mile radius as I knew I could turn round or get there and come home in my own time. However, I was terrified of both of us, even with me driving, going to the local retail park which is only 5 mins away!
To cut a long story short, I began to improve over the years, increasing the distances although I still can't face going abroad/trains/boats as I think, no way of getting off any of those! We have had two children together and I don't go great distances with them. We go camping usually within a 20 mile radius and once a year I put myself through the annual camping holiday which may be about 60/70 miles away.
The stupid thing is, I THINK I am going to have a panic attack, but I don't. I get anxious for weeks leading up to certain trips just imagining how back the trip is going to be., but I can get there and think great, I had a great trip! But the problem is, I just can't convince myself for the next trip out. It's a vicious circle.
This year I decided we would get married and booked a small registry do one month from that day. I was terrified on the build-up and on the morning itself, yes it was scary but totally disappeared with an hour to go.
However, I seem to have regressed badly in everything I do. The travel phobia has returned to going ten minutes down the road. I'm scared of other things now, besides the travel. It's like the terrible wedding nerves have put me back years and definitely triggered it off again. I am wondering (for the first time) whether I have some form of agrophobia?
I've been to the doctors last week and have an appointment with a worker who will decide which sort of therapy I should try. I would like to point out that I went to hypnotherapy twice and counselling about 7 years ago, but neither worked. After 18 years I asked for medicine and was given Diazepam. I actually made a pack of 28 last over two years as I was reluctant to take it.
I really look forward to receiving ideas and help from here. I just hate my situation, and waking up with knots in my stomach for no valid reasons is no way to carry on.