View Full Version : Success but is it ?
i like this topic to be honest i am a successfull person partly done myself but lets say mummy helped out :) but even tho i have this success money Cant buy you happyness and it CERTANLY cant take this anxiety or panic attack away no matter what i do thats why i like this forum real people with real feelings and who have experianced and experiancing the same problems as me i used to be more out going person even tho i go to work everyday i used to be alot more goign out with freinds loveing life doing anything i had the chance to do but now if im in a crowd of more than 4 people i start to panic i feel as if people are determined to stare at me look at me i think are they talking about me then my anxiety kicks in and then a panic i just feel really upset somtimes and i have to go to the bathroom and just let my emotions run wild on my own :weep: not everyone has a perfect life none of us do but it would be that little much better if anxiety and pani never existed im sure we would all deeply appreciate that one anyway point of the story you cant chew if you aint got teeth.
Love all my fellow anxiety and panic attack Family on here :hugs:
i feel abit emotional today why i dont know
eeyorelover
14-07-11, 21:31
It is a wonderful feeling to know there are people you can turn to that know exactly how you are feeling!
I understand what you mean about being in groups of people but you have to start counteracting those thoughts when they happen so they don't take over and cause panic. Say something to yourself like " So what if they are looking at me!! I'm must be looking hot tonight ;) " The more you give in to the negative feelings, the smaller your world will become! I know because I ended up living over 4 years in my house with no friends, not having any conversations with others! I pushed everyone away and became such an introvert!!
We have to take small steps and view those steps as BIG successes because it takes hard work and lots of guts on our part to get past those feelings and become the person we want to be.
xxx
Sandy
It is a wonderful feeling to know there are people you can turn to that know exactly how you are feeling!
I understand what you mean about being in groups of people but you have to start counteracting those thoughts when they happen so they don't take over and cause panic. Say something to yourself like " So what if they are looking at me!! I'm must be looking hot tonight ;) " The more you give in to the negative feelings, the smaller your world will become! I know because I ended up living over 4 years in my house with no friends, not having any conversations with others! I pushed everyone away and became such an introvert!!
We have to take small steps and view those steps as BIG successes because it takes hard work and lots of guts on our part to get past those feelings and become the person we want to be.
xxx
Sandy
thankyou so much for that sandy
I always find I can never quite agree with the expression ' money can't buy happiness'. For me personally, after 8 years of struggling with anxiety and depression, a nervous breakdown and glitches with agorophobia, I am only now just at a stage where I feel relatively stable and my meds are at a very low dose, but in terms of my life, it is a disaster. I am still job searching without much success (I have had to leave my career at present as it was contributing greatly to my poor state of mind), have no money in the bank, no home of my own and I know that without a shadow of a doubt, my happiness could very much be bought by money at this present time. I don't mean that to sound shallow, that is just a truth for me, as my self esteem is linked to my security and lack of self-sufficiency in a lot of ways, and this makes me feel very low and anxious, so by default, money could very much buy at least some happiness for me as it would take such a weight from my shoulders.
I guess we all have different thoughts about that one depending on our circumstances.
My story is a lot like yours terror-x. I struggle with groups of people too and just feel edgy and under pressure to be socially acceptable in a way, and start to feel anxious. It is very frustrating. I too used to be a different person before anxiety came along, and far more adventurous than I am now. I think anxiety and panic just completely knocks our confidence as we are so scared of putting ourselves out there and feeling anxious/panicky in public that we kind of hide away, and the more we do that, the less confident we become. It is quite heartbreaking actually.
I am also very thankful for this forum and the lovely people here as I feel less alone with these horrendous conditions.
The fact you are getting out there terror-x and still confronting those scary social things is great and a victory in itself.
xx:hugs:
I always find I can never quite agree with the expression ' money can't buy happiness'. For me personally, after 8 years of struggling with anxiety and depression, a nervous breakdown and glitches with agorophobia, I am only now just at a stage where I feel relatively stable and my meds are at a very low dose, but in terms of my life, it is a disaster. I am still job searching without much success (I have had to leave my career at present as it was contributing greatly to my poor state of mind), have no money in the bank, no home of my own and I know that without a shadow of a doubt, my happiness could very much be bought by money at this present time. I don't mean that to sound shallow, that is just a truth for me, as my self esteem is linked to my security and lack of self-sufficiency in a lot of ways, and this makes me feel very low and anxious, so by default, money could very much buy at least some happiness for me as it would take such a weight from my shoulders.
I guess we all have different thoughts about that one depending on our circumstances.
I know exactly what you mean Debs. To have enough money to not worry about the mortgage, not to have to work in a job that stresses you out, to be able to do as you please when you please whatever the cost, to have a nice new car that doesn't produce a list of defects every time it has its MOT, to be able to have that really expensive holiday, these are luxuries most of us will never have the pleasure of. Even just modest sums will help smooth many of lifes problems out a little and make things a bit easier. True, it won't cure anxiety, but it has to increase your chances of happiness when you don't have to face a daily grind in order to survive. I'm sure we are generally more anxious depressed the less prosperous we are.
Anxious_gal
15-07-11, 03:45
Some people who have money are really stressed a lot, their jobs cause stress, they then to have bigger loans , investments and property to worry about, the often are the head of the family so feel under pressure to provide, the people I am thinking about here can see going therapy as some kind of failour .
Just thought I would give a different point of view :)
I my self and my family have never had much money, going on holiday involves taking out a short term loan,
i have paid for private therapy but because I live on small area the choice wasn't great and I am afraid I wasted my money!
Been waiting on free CBT now for 9 months lol
But if you can travel and can afford it therapy is the way to go, I really believe in therapy, meds may help but again with therapy is better, it's good to have help and support.
I will admit and I have admitted to my wealthy friends that at times I get jelouse of their money, but and it's been shown, how rich you feel depends on who you are around.
If you compare yourself to a super rich family, 5 homes, 19 cars etc... you will start feeling rather sorry for yourself, then compare your self to a really poor woman let's say in africa , she lives in a mud house, has a few kids, no husband, she and her children go hungry most days, you will really start to appreciate the little things,
Im not attacking anyone here , just talking about my own experinces.
eeyorelover
15-07-11, 06:44
Until 14 months ago I agreed with you guys about money not really buying happiness but it sure would help ;)
My husband was laid off from his job and was searching with no luck and I was feeling worried about money so much that I actually started having dreams that we won the lottery and never had to worry about money ever again! I'd wake up and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep to fall into that lovely pretend world again where money wasn't an issue.
And then...
My husband was diagnosed with Stage 3 melanoma. We went through 3 surgeries in 6 weeks. He couldn't work and I couldn't get a job because every place I applied wouldn't guarantee me time off if he had to have another surgery.
We had no money and all of our bills were due and there was no hope that we could pay any of them BUT for the first time in a long time, I wasn't worried at all about the bills.
Turn off my lights!
Evict us out of our home!
I didn't care!!
All I wanted and all I focused on was getting my husband well!
I put all my energy into researching melanoma and becoming an advocate for him!
Our marriage became stronger....I guess everyone gains strength from adversity!
Today we are on the verge of bankruptcy! He is working but we have a mountain of bills (loads of medical bills and others) that we can't pay BUT my wonderful husband is cancer free and healthy!!!
I don't sweat the bills anymore because I realized I could have lost something so much more important to me than electric or a house!
He and I have been married 22 years and I can't imagine my life without him!
He has given me happiness that money could never buy!
Not trying to sound preachy or anything, just wanted to add my perspective.
xxx
Sandy
Until 14 months ago I agreed with you guys about money not really buying happiness but it sure would help ;)
My husband was laid off from his job and was searching with no luck and I was feeling worried about money so much that I actually started having dreams that we won the lottery and never had to worry about money ever again! I'd wake up and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep to fall into that lovely pretend world again where money wasn't an issue.
And then...
My husband was diagnosed with Stage 3 melanoma. We went through 3 surgeries in 6 weeks. He couldn't work and I couldn't get a job because every place I applied wouldn't guarantee me time off if he had to have another surgery.
We had no money and all of our bills were due and there was no hope that we could pay any of them BUT for the first time in a long time, I wasn't worried at all about the bills.
Turn off my lights!
Evict us out of our home!
I didn't care!!
All I wanted and all I focused on was getting my husband well!
I put all my energy into researching melanoma and becoming an advocate for him!
Our marriage became stronger....I guess everyone gains strength from adversity!
Today we are on the verge of bankruptcy! He is working but we have a mountain of bills (loads of medical bills and others) that we can't pay BUT my wonderful husband is cancer free and healthy!!!
I don't sweat the bills anymore because I realized I could have lost something so much more important to me than electric or a house!
He and I have been married 22 years and I can't imagine my life without him!
He has given me happiness that money could never buy!
Not trying to sound preachy or anything, just wanted to add my perspective.
xxx
Sandy
sandy you made me cry with that :weep: because i dont think i would ever ben in that predicament i work a really good job for my family bussiness and allso i get an allowance every months from my mum even tho im 27 shes the wealthy one but reading some of your stories here have just made me feel so awefull yes money cant buy u happyness thats a fact :weep:
im feeling really emotional now after reading this i turned around to the tv and saw the africa live aid witch has destroyed me i get really emotional somtimes i feel like a big fairy but i hope theres nothing wrong with that
absolute nightmare
15-07-11, 11:17
Hi terror-x I find it amazing how people can express themselves on this website, I have only been on here a few days and i find it a great help :yesyes:
yes nightmare because we are all freinds on here i think speaking to people you dont know is much better and easyer than it is to speak to an actuall freind plus all my mates and family call me a softy i have a big heart and i love helping people
Some people who have money are really stressed a lot, their jobs cause stress, they then to have bigger loans , investments and property to worry about, the often are the head of the family so feel under pressure to provide, the people I am thinking about here can see going therapy as some kind of failour .
If you compare yourself to a super rich family, 5 homes, 19 cars etc... you will start feeling rather sorry for yourself, then compare your self to a really poor woman let's say in africa , she lives in a mud house, has a few kids, no husband, she and her children go hungry most days, you will really start to appreciate the little things,
Im not attacking anyone here , just talking about my own experinces.
I do know what you mean Mishel. Personally though I don't really compare myself to other people that much. I've always tried to opt out of the rat race so as not to get sucked into a material competition that I see as pointless and also damaging to the planet. My desire for increased wealth is not so I can show off or look better than those around me which I know is the point of a lot of wealth accumulation. I just want my life to be a bit more comfortable. A house big enough for the family, a car that works properly (not a Porsche or a BMW or other status symbol many rave about), a job that doesn't cause me loads of stress and a decent holiday now and again. Agreed, many people do get locked into a competition and subsequently get anxiety and depression. I just want life to be a little easier! I aren't that bothered what other people think of my social status.
It is true we are lucky to live in the developed world and I do often think about that and appreciate it. Having read Sandy's story too I know things could be a lot worse. On a day to day basis though, I know there are things that would improve my lot substantially but not achievable on the little I earn. I don't dispute that earning it in a highly stressful environment creates anxiety too for some people. I was thinking along the lines of how nice it would be to have a win on the lottery, or just to have the ability to earn large sums without it causing any mental distress. I know I am not capable of more challenging work that earns bigger bucks, but I do believe that those who can do it successfully, and many people can, have better life choices ultimately with their available funds, and therefore less anxiety.
Tyke
well said tyke understanding is mutall i like how u see things in the world and i envy you
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