View Full Version : how do i help him

26-08-03, 13:43
My husband has been having these panic attacks since feb this year and was first told that the funny feeling were down to a bad tooth we have since discovered that this is not the case. He is finding it increasingly difficult to ignore these attacks as he has at least one every day. It breaks my heart to see him like it knowing that i can't physically stop them. It is causing problems at my work as i have had a lot of time off to be with him when he feels bad. he always has them more when i am not around. Is it my fault that he is having these attacks and how can i help him to stop them. I have done a lot of research on the internet but he is reluctant to go and see another doctor, and we don't think that tablets are the best medication for him. Has any one got over these problem through meditation or hypnotherapy. please can somone reply i feel very alone at the moment and just need to talk to somone. I am 22 and my husband is 24 i don't want this for him any longer.

26-08-03, 18:00
Dear Tracey,

It is absolutely not your fault that he is having these panic attacks. He is having more of them when you're not around as he has come to see you as his safe person/place. You leaving work to be with him in an emergency is fine but staying at home when he feels bad is not helping him - just anchors you in his subconcious as a safe person and he may become greatly dependant on you.

Any relaxation such as meditation , yoga etc is helpful as is good aerobic excercise. It helps disperse excess adrenaline.

These panic attacks will have started for a reason - whether either of you can identify the cause at this time is a different matter. Is he overwhelmed by something, worried by imminent change in his life /work/health previous to this ? What's he been obsessively thinking about ??

It will get better but it is not an on/off switch - it will take patience, determination and a real will to do so on his part. The sooner he starts the better.

He needs to accept the horrible way he feels when having a panic attack is not life threatening, it will pass, it is normal for anxiety, will not harm him and face the fears he has and keep getting out there and leading a normal life. The more time that passes in which he is avoiding things , the longer it will take to get over it.

Things that do help immediately are extra Vit B complex www. Quest.co.uk do great ones,as well as a good mineral/ vitamin supplement. Having panic attacks uses lots of nutrients . This is as well as eating well.
Minimal alcohol .
Bach- Rescue remedy and the individual extracts can be great. I used to take aspen for fear, rock rose for terror and cherry plum for keeping control. Rescue remedy is a mixture of 5 extracts .

Lots of sleep, lots of diversions, lots of laughter, lots of love.

Do acknowledge how totally awful it all is for him, but do not allow it to shrink your life by avoiding places and events.

Massage, reiki, hypnosis, kiniesiology,counselling, spiritual healing and many more adjunct therapies plus medication - both natural and Pharma can be very helpful in his recovery.

It depends on what really scares him about the PA's. If it's the racing heart then betablockers can be fab providing he's not already taking any other meds. If it's the spiraling pent up emotion - then a tiny bit of ativan can help but again they take the edge off but won't cure the underlying issue.

He needs to take responsibility for this himself so get ho to pop into the chat room one evening - there will be lots of people who will share experiences and give him tips.

Take good care of yourself too Tracey- it's hard being the strong one all the time especially when you cannot cure him yourself .

26-08-03, 22:12
Hi Tracey

It is good to see you here cos that means you care enough to take the time to look for help for him and so many partners just don't care. I am very lucky cos mine does but I know a lot of people get no support.

Radar's advise is superb and I cannot add anything to it except ask him to read the website and try to get help from it. He can also pop in the chat room - we are a friendly bunch and do not bite.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.