panicking and tearful

[snowgoose]

sorry folks for this mail ..........havent supported much this last week and I hate that. but so need to offload so thank you in advance for allowing this outpour.

wedding of son tomorrow [huge do :huh:] .got relatives from abroad staying with me ............oh why am I so unsociable ? my anxiety is hitting the roof .
had to go to gp today for one temazepam to make me sleep tonight . have had about 4 hours over 3 days .
it will be lovely ...........but somehow I feel so alien and out of kilter ....eyes have bags to put shopping in with crying and lack of sleep . palps and churning .
I dont know how this anxiety I manage usually has spiralled so out of control . and I have less than 24 hours to get my act together . and boy I WILL somehow.


but I feel so vulnerable and scared I will disgrace myself . My usually kind husband told me last night after pre wedding meal with the families etc .I was embarrassing :blush:

hey what a bleat .......thanks for letting me type this and reading ........it helps ...........you are kind people .xxx

[allergyphobia]

snow, you poor thing.

you haven't even been on the forum long but i bet every one would agree you are a really valued and respected member here who gives comforting and wise advice.

now it's time for you to have a bit of that support back.

first of all :hugs:. have a big ole squeeze from me!

what a stressful time for you and your family, visitors, organisation, getting everybody ready and making sure everybody is happy... your nerves will be frissoning in anticipation of the big day tomorrow... that is all... you are no embarrassment... your hubby is just feeling the stress too and snapped, it happens to the most patient of saints.

try and do everything that you know makes you feel better... nice soaky baths... your guests will understand if you are quiet, tell them you are not feeling that well, tonight you want an early night for the service tomorrow... don't focus on all of those worries...focus on yourself.

do you have a lovely outfit sorted? try not to worry what that day will involve tomorrow... i guarentee all eyes will be on the happy couple and you can slip out for air or a water whenever you need to...

most importantly, relax breathe and enjoy tomorrow...let it all out, go for a nice walk and get rid of the pent up energy.

have a fabulous day :flowers: and feel better xxx

[suzy-sue]

:bighug1:Was just thinking of you Snowgoose ...Having visitors when you are under pressure is enough to make anyone freak out hun ...I wouldnt even have considered it .Being nervous can make you act out of character ,,but sod it hun just laugh about it ..Weve all done it .....Also not sleeping will make you feel out of kilter and feel worse ,Nerves need rest ..You need to have some me time tonight ..Nice relaxing soak with some Lavender oil and an early night .Im sure you will feel much better after a good sleep .Remember you will be ok as you were a couple of weeks ago .Deep breathing when you start to feel panicky and just concentrate on the moment ..Everyone will no doubt be too busy concentrating on the Bride and Groom .They wont notice what you are doing ,especially when they have had a few :winks:..Just get hubby to look after the guests and look after your self tonight, and in the morning .Take your time getting ready and dont allow people to rush you ..For the puffy eyes bathe your eyes in tea or put used cold tea bags on your eyes ..Works a treat ..Will be thinking of you ...and Im sure it will go really well despite your current worries .Just try to SMILE and take a deep breath every now and then .Have a great day ..Im sure it will be fab ..Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts ..Sue xx:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[saffy f]

Ahh Snowgoose sorry you're feeling like this...i've read a lot of your posts that are always so helpful and you give people such good advise.
Maybe you should turn the tables and think what you would say to someone else in your position.
The most important thing you need to do now is relax unwind and think about yourself.
This is a big deal,your son is getting married and you have visitors staying,most people would feel stressed regardless of whether they suffered with anxiety problems anyway.

Once your guests turn up you will feel better,everyone will be excited and happy and their happy moods will rub off on you.
Make yourself look gorgeous go and have a lovely day watching your son get married and enjoy yourself!
Take care xxx

[debs71]

Awww Snowgoose..I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time, and you give so much help and support to other people here (for me you have been wonderful) so please don't apologise when you now need that returned to you.:flowers:

I so know how you feel. I think that anything that kind of puts our routine out of kilter can so easily flare up our anxiety, especially big social things like a wedding, where you feel under pressure to be hospitable and socialise. It is horrible.

I agree with saffy...it is stressful even without anxiety to firstly be part of the main wedding party and on top of that to have house guests so the way you feel is so understandable. I think maybe the first thing to reinforce in your mind is that this is anxiety talking and that you CAN get through this, and it will be over in a short space of time. Also, don't pre-empt what may or may not happen, so don't tell yourself that you will disgrace yourself as you mentioned (you won't) or that the anxiety will be too much...just try to reinforce those positive thoughts in your head - you can do this, you will be fine, etc, etc. and all the usual TLC and relaxation techniques.

I was dreading my Mum's birthday dinner a few weeks back with 11 other family members present as well as the 4 of us, and got myself quite het up. My Mum begged me to go as I thought I couldn't, but I didn't want to upset her so I went, and once there, it was amazing, as I was so busy talking to people I forgot my anxiety, and often the anticipation is far, far worse than when things actually occur. I am POSITIVE that you will be just fine, hun and you will have a GREAT time.

Lots of love and thoughts and a big hug to you Snowy.:bighug1::hugs::yesyes::yesyes::shades:

[snowgoose]

hi Allergy,Sue ,Saffy and Debs :hugs::hugs:

Thank you so much for your kind loving replies. It has helped hugely .
got a window on my own at the moment to type [bliss].........home alone .

I want to reply individually ........but time is running out :weep:..........but your words I will carry with me tomorrow ...and if feeling faint and dizzy will imagine my NMP brothers in arms around me . soppy maybe .....but true :flowers

I will reply to you all individually after the wedding :flowers:.........and post here too with a ramble no doubt :blush:

feel so much better for your words .really do .REALLY DO . xxxxxx

:hugs::hugs:

[Magic]

Dear Snowgoose,
I cannot tell you how much alike we are. I really do feel for you.

My sister rang me last night. She is 80 in september and is having a do-----she said " I know you won't want to come, but you have GOT to"
I am panicking already.
I have nothing suitable to wear for a start. I just have no fashion taste at all. I do not like clothes, I hate shopping for them.

I can give you no advice snow. but the other members have helped you.
I do hope so.
I'm sure you will listen to them.
Wish you the Best of luck with everything. You WILL be ok xxxxx
:flowers::flowers::flowers::flowers::flowers::hugs ::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[snowgoose]

thank you Magic .............just caught this .
thank you so much xxxxxx

hey .......if I carry it off tomorrow .........will be sitting with you too [on your shoulder]
speak soon xxxxx

[mandie]

Good luck for today and have a lovely day

:hugs:

mandie x

[JaneC]

I'm one of the people you have been kind to on here Snowy and I'm sorry things have been so difficult for you :hugs:

Good luck for today. We're all rooting for you and I hope you have an amazing time xxx

[snowgoose]

thank you so much for lovely words and comfort Mandie and Jane .
so appreciated .......:hugs::hugs:

[snowgoose]

hi pals:)
well it all went fine after my fears and panicking :blush:

had to have a temazepam night before which didnt work .......but my husband talked me down bless him .....guess it was the combination and I slept.
my hairdresser first thing in the morning also was an angel .
it was a beautiful day ..............the church service moved me and was a good mix of solemn and joy ..............the reception was immaculate ...........and my son and my new daughter looked so happy and radiant :yesyes:

my enormous hat hid my baggy eyes a treat and my gok wan corsetry will hopefully redeem its pain and cost by making me look a stone lighter on the pics .

I was very touched by peoples kindness who know my history a little making a point of just squeezing my arm in passing .or just a discreet thumbs up and smile .

which brings me to say a huge thank you to you all for the support .priceless.

Miss Moose if you are reading .......dont worry honestly about your special day . and it will be sooo lovely . just take it in bite size chunks .and remember you always have the option of having time out in between . time passes far quicker than you think it will ............and the GOOD adrenaline will carry you .
ps .........cos of sleeping pill had to forgo the drinks a bit :ohmy:.........but managed my champagne of course :winks:

[Magic]

Hi Snowgoose,
So glad and happy that all went well at the wedding. What a big event to get through.:):hugs:Sounds as if you coped well.
Lots of Love

[suzy-sue]

Well done Snowgoose :yahoo:.So pleased everything went well .Knew you could do it :winks:..Time to relax now and add this to your list of achievements . You did yourself proud ..T/c Luv Sue xxx:hugs::hugs: