miss_moose
16-07-11, 21:52
I've been having problems with my eating for years, I used to be 6 and a half stone, didn't eat anything but 6 slices of bread a day, i've gradually built up and learnt not to starve myself if I was hungry, 10 years on i'm 14 and a half stone and still putting on loads of weight, I eat tons every day (still mainly bread with one propper meal for tea), I'm always starving, i have to keep eating biscuits and snacks because if I don't i feel so ill and retch and/or be sick until I eat.
This is EVERY DAY, and has been for years, it's got to the point where I am having to have 2 breakfasts, dinner, 2 or 3 biscuits, big tea, 2 more snacks, then supper, then 1 or 2 more biscuits. I still wake up an hour later feeling completely empty and retchy again.
Some times (rarely) after tea, I can go 3 hours (at a push) without needing a snack and it's fab, and I can go out to the park and not have to worry (altho i'm still thinking about food and got a snack in my bag).
I've never known anything like it, i cannot find any other cases like mine on the internet.
But it's one of my main reasons for being agora/social phobic because i just feel so ill and i dont want to be sik in front of anyone, it's the reason i havent been to the doctors, or had therapy, or going to see family or them coming to us. I wrote a post y'day because my fiance booked our wedding and all im thinking about is How will I get through it with out eating, how will I go and spend half an hour in the regestry office when we give notice without retching and being sik?
And I seriously fear that I'm going to have to break my fiances heart, and my own, because I can't go to the regestry and do the ceremony all because of my stupid eating!
It's not normal, I just look like some fat woman that cant go 20 minutes without a chocolate biscuit because she's greedy,, and its not that at all, I hate eating, I wish i didnt have to, it's embarrassing and makes me feel discusting. and i'm terrified its a stomach ulcer, and not because of the illness, but because of the "How will I manage to go to hospital for tests because i need to eat".
This is EVERY DAY, and has been for years, it's got to the point where I am having to have 2 breakfasts, dinner, 2 or 3 biscuits, big tea, 2 more snacks, then supper, then 1 or 2 more biscuits. I still wake up an hour later feeling completely empty and retchy again.
Some times (rarely) after tea, I can go 3 hours (at a push) without needing a snack and it's fab, and I can go out to the park and not have to worry (altho i'm still thinking about food and got a snack in my bag).
I've never known anything like it, i cannot find any other cases like mine on the internet.
But it's one of my main reasons for being agora/social phobic because i just feel so ill and i dont want to be sik in front of anyone, it's the reason i havent been to the doctors, or had therapy, or going to see family or them coming to us. I wrote a post y'day because my fiance booked our wedding and all im thinking about is How will I get through it with out eating, how will I go and spend half an hour in the regestry office when we give notice without retching and being sik?
And I seriously fear that I'm going to have to break my fiances heart, and my own, because I can't go to the regestry and do the ceremony all because of my stupid eating!
It's not normal, I just look like some fat woman that cant go 20 minutes without a chocolate biscuit because she's greedy,, and its not that at all, I hate eating, I wish i didnt have to, it's embarrassing and makes me feel discusting. and i'm terrified its a stomach ulcer, and not because of the illness, but because of the "How will I manage to go to hospital for tests because i need to eat".