hi guys so at last i am not alone

[emmi]

hi my names Emma just joined this sight and at last i am not alone been suffering with anxiety and depression for years. For last few months its been hell can't go out without having the most horrendous panic attacks health anxiety driving me crazy constantly scanning internet for symptoms i have over welming dread that something is wrong with me what the doctors have not found and will be dead shortly. Currently on anti depressants and beta blockers but nothing working going back doctors tomorrow begging for help i just want my normal self back can't take my kids anywhere or see to my horses people think i am mad and always ill which makes me worse. i know it will pass for a few months and then i wonder what t was all about but at the moment i wish i could just fall asleep and wake up when it is all over feel better off loading to people who understand what's happening other than people just thinking your a hypocondriac.
just one thing i would like to ask and its has anyone gone out feeling normal then out nd nowhere just felt like they were going to pass out going disoriented almost like a brain zap coz these are really freaking me out now to the point that i have got something wrong with my blood pressure also got pressure in my ears and a burning feeling in my head neck and shoulders.

[nomorepanic]

Hi emmi

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[suzzyk]

Hi Emma!

YES. I have quite often gone to work or something and thought that i felt ok. Then from nowhere - often just sat quietly at breaktime or something, i feel really light headed and convinced i am going to faint. Also, everything around me feels sort of 'unreal' and i feel really disorientated which is terrifying! I know exactly what you mean..... And people think im a hypochondriac too and its so difficult to try and explain that it is so much more than being a 'hypochondriac'! Once the feelings have gone though you do just think, 'what was all that about?'. I can go from feeling like im going totally insane/going to die and that i'll never feel ok again, to laughing with friends the next minute. Its such a horrible thing! Hope the doctor is able to help you... and you are definitely not alone! :)

[emmi]

thanks that is such a relief to know that its just anxiety and my mind playing horrible tricks people just don't understand it at all who have never been through it my kids teachers just think i can't be bothered when i don't turn up at parents evening when i just can't step out the front door i am just thankful i have been blessed with a understanding husband and close friends who without them and my kids i think i would not be here and its such a relief to have found this site and unload my problems without being judged just sat here crying praying for the day i wake up and i am normal again if only for a few days of relief.

[suzzyk]

I completely know what you mean... Unless you've been through it, its very difficult for people to understand just how much it completely takes over every aspect of your life! I also consider myself sooooo lucky to have an amazing fiance who is so good and understanding. We're getting married in september and whilst i cant wait to marry him, its also going to be a HUGE test for me! Dreading it in one sense. Which sounds awful to say, but i just dont want to be 'ill' and ruin what should be the happiest day of my life! I am also praying for the day when i wake up and dont immediately think about all the bad stuff. Would love to be able to look forward to events instead of dread them! Really hope you can get the help you need.... Ive just started CBT therapy so hoping it will help me! Although i sometimes think im probably beyond it. :)

[JT69]

Hi emmi

:welcome: to NMP. Great site with lots of useful information to help you and you will make friends along the way.

Jo.x

[emmi]

you will be fine on your wedding day hun loads going on to distract your mind we are the lucky ones some people have no one to help them through it. i am waiting to get therapy but i may also try hypnosis will try anything

[suzzyk]

Yeah that's what I'm hoping! Will definitely have a lot going on! Funny you should say that... I've always been freaked out at the idea of hypnosis but have recently been thinking about giving it a try. Got to be worth a go I think!

[emmi]

going to find out about it tomorrow will let you know how i get on x

[suzzyk]

Oh really? Yeah that'd be great... Thank you so much! :) X