Goals

[Karen]

<center>GOALS</center>

I am posting this personal list of goals because goal setting is something I have starting working on as part of the solution focused therapy I have asked for as part of my care plan at the day clinic I attend. There is more about my story Binge eating (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=8817).


• Help with strategies and support to stop bingeing and purging. Support to stop the use of diet pills and to taper down laxative use.

• Support and practical help to develop balance with food and eating, at a rate which allows me to feel in control to break the cycle I’ve developed of bingeing, purging and restricting in order to avoid weight gain.

• Self esteem building to overcome negative self perception stemming from emotional abuse from childhood. Help to believe I am an ok person rather than striving for perfection in the belief that anything less than this proves I am bad, worthless and a failure.

• To overcome social phobia and fear of speaking so I can break my isolation and build a social life.

• Continue working at letting go of obsessive emotional attachments and develop normal, healthy, balanced relationships.

• Overcome depression with help to challenge the negative thinking patterns which keep me trapped.

• Build on small, achievable goals that are empowering and enable me to recognise my achievements, rather than focusing on the perfect life which seems so far out of reach.

• Integrate into society by building confidence and working on interpersonal skills.

• Continue working on anxiety management skills.

• Build some exercise into my weekly routine. Overcome fear of water and learn to swim.

• My end goal is to have the confidence and social skills to retrain and start my own business providing solution focused psychotherapy that can be accessed on the Internet.

• Personal eventual goal is to have a social life, be able to mix with people, have fun and enjoyment. My realistic goal is to find contentment with life, whereas at present I struggle with feelings of hopelessness due to never having any experience of quality of life.

A very useful article about Goal Setting (http://www.uncommon-knowledge.co.uk/goal_setting/goals.html) and I am working through this to further refine each individual goal, and hope with the help of the clinic with slowly be able to achieve all of these goals.

Note: I had written my list of goals prior to reading the article and so my list is rather long. The Guide suggests setting around 7 goals at a time.

Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey

[feege]

WOW WOW WOW:D:D:D:D

Karen I am just so in awe of how hard you have worked on all this...

I can't think of a suitable superlative but you are a total STAR

FANTASTIC!

Your totally impressed Aunty Fee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com

Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!

[Quirky]

Hi Karen,

I must have missed this post when I first logged on.

karen this is fantastic, they are all brilliant and achieveable goals. How great that you have managed to post this even while having a bad day.
I really think you can achive your goals, and we will be happy to support you as you do.

Big (((((hugs))))) for being so clever.

:D[^]:)[8D]

Lisa x

[Sue K with 5]

Hi Karen

Can I just ask who helped you set these goals please ????


Glad to see your doing so well honey



Sue
xxxx


scknight

[Karen]

Thanks guys. I actually spent time thinking about and compiling these on Friday to take to my appointment but didn't get the chance to discuss the idea with anyone.

Fee: Thank you again for your unwavering support.

Lisa: Thanks too for being willing to help support me as I try to achieve these goals.

Sue: I have been experiencing rather a difficult time recently but this is my attempt to focus on something positive.


<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Can I just ask who helped you set these goals please ????
<div align="right">Originally posted by susan Knight - 02 May 2006 : 00:46:50</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
Well, the idea of goal setting came from someone I see at the clinic. I asked for my treatment to be more along the lines of solution focused therapy and we set about setting a goal of not bingeing for a week. I didn't quite make that goal. I achieved 6 days but have had a bad time this weekend.

The rest of the goals I came up with myself based on what I believe I need to work on and change in order to get better.

There is, however, a very good guide on how to start writing goals in the link I posted at the end of my list of goals at the beginning of this post. I only read this after I had set mine.

Karen xx

[Trev]

Hi Karen,

good for you. I hope you make progress with your goals. :D

I'm always really impressed by how well you write things down. Just thought I'd let you know that for no real reason at all!!!!

Cheers,
Trev :D

[Piglet]

I am giving you a right big clap now [] [] [] [] [] [](these are hands clapping)!!!!

I love posts like these and I have my list of goals too in my 'Wobbly book' of hints and tips and after every seesion on my course I go and write in it what that weeks goals are and the result of the previous weeks goals.

Smashin post and just the way to start the week!!!

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[heths]

Hi Karen,

I think it's excellent you've written your goals out like this.

I do the same as Piglet, I write down goals in my diary and about a week later I write down how the goals have gone, then set new ones.

Take Care,

Heather

[Keitharcher]

Karen

Well done you have set yourself some realistic aims, if you like its a list that you can tick off as you recover, well done for a superb idea

Keith

[Karen]

Thank you Trev, Piglet, Heather and Keith.

I am working on weekly goals too and my goal for the next week is to avoid bingeing for the next 7 days. I am determined to keep going with this one until I have cracked it.

Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey

[feege]

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

YAY!!!!

And I reckon you WILL!!!

Fantastic Karenxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com

Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!

[Karen]

Thanks Fee. Am just taking it one day at a time because I thought I was going to make it last week for it all to go wrong at the weekend.

Have decided I need an emergency plan for when things get that bad.

Karen xx

[Quirky]

Hi Karen,

I think this is a fantastic goal for the next week and you can do it. In fact this inspires me to not google for the next week too, it does really help to break it down into achieveable steps I think.
My CBT book talks about emergency plans. It says basically to confront things that cause fear (in my case health stuff) but also to take away any safety behavious or checking coping techniques (so in my case reassurance, googling etc), exposure therapy basically. It also says about emergency plans if things get desperate e.g in my case if I want to google I must leave it an hour and then see if the need is still as desperate. If it is then google but only one trusted site etc and then next time make the waiting time longer etc etc. I guess you could apply this to anything, like taking pills or eating or whatever.
Anyway sorry for hijacking your post [:I][Oops!].

You can do this sis, have a ((((hug))))) to get you started :D

Love Lisa x

[Karen]

Hi Lisa

Perhaps we could help each other keep to our goals. I'm trying my best not to binge and you could try to avoid Googling.

I had some coping techniques in place for last week and they helped up to a certain point but the culmination of several things led to the crisis on Sunday and then none of those distractions and strategies worked.

I'm not sure what would help in that situation again. I really want/need to not be alone when like that but can't do anything about that.

I am even finding it hard tonight while waiting to hear from K and getting more anxious that she won't write tonight. Luckily I don't have much here to binge on - the bread is the most worrying thing and I am tempted to spoil it with bleach so I can't eat it.

I really need to make the 7 days this time.

Karen xx

[Quirky]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">
Perhaps we could help each other keep to our goals. I'm trying my best not to binge and you could try to avoid Googling.

<div align="right">Originally posted by Karen - 02 May 2006 : 23:43:07</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Yes of course we can, definitely :D. Think how good we'll feel when we both achieve it too!

I do realise being alone must make things so much harder, I can understand to some extent. It's not the same but I don't google if hubby is here often, mostly when I'm alone and get myself into a state.

Just take it day by day, hour by hour if necessary and you can do it. We can only try our best can't we, then whatever happens if we have tried that in itself is success.

Love Lisa x

[Karen]

Hi Lisa

It is definitely more difficult being alone because I hardly eat when with other people, let alone binge.

Maybe I should post this on my other thread because I'm feeling quite low now tonight and that doesn't bode well for tomorrow :(.

Karen xx

[Quirky]

Try and see tomorrow as a brand new day, tonight may not be great but it doesn't mean tomorrow has to be the same, it could be better, you never know.
Well that's my burst of optimism over for the next 10 years! Lol. No seriously take each day as it comes and don't assume the worst, not easy I know.

Night sis,

Lisa x

[desperate]

Hi Karen,

I think there are an excellent set of goal to have, I am doing something similar atm too for my therapist to look at with me, maybe u can discuss it with them next time?

You really are doing well atm even if you can't see it.

Take lots of care,

Sarah

[Karen]

Hi Sarah

Thanks for your message. I found it really useful to look at goal setting, some of which I am starting to work at now, some are medium term goals, and others for the long term.

Mind you K did tell me I'd set myself rather a lot with about 7 usually recommended initially and then added to, but I've included my ultimate goals in an attempt to keep me focused.

How are you finding doing this exercise with your therapist? When I get some time with Julia I am going to show her my list but I need some proper therapy sorted out too.

Unfortunately I have fallen at the first hurdle on this week's goal, although I feel so ill now that maybe the binge I had at lunch won't add up to so many calories over the whole day if I am unable to eat anything else today. I still purged though [:I].



Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey