frozenwithfear
19-07-11, 21:42
2011 is proving to be the worst in so many ways, not least because of the frequent health fears I've had. So far, all has been OK, and I've been doing fine now I'm on Citralopram.
But, last week I noticed a mole on the left hand side of my back. It sounds silly but I honestly cant remember how long I've had it, or why I hadnt noticed it before. Its sort of light brown and almost diamond shaped. I went to my doctor here in France, and she examined and measured it, and told me to go back in a month and if need be she would refer me to a dermatologist. The mole apparantly has two colour in it. She told me not to worry, and was very reassuring. Although I felt fine after the appointment the uncontrollable fear is coming back fast and furious now, and I am scared to feel this way, yet again. I thought I was over it.
I was kept out of the sun as a child, and although I did, in my twenties, sometimes go to the beach and sunbathe, I have never made a habit of it. My skin is fair (I have brown hair and grey eyes), and now in my 40's, I just don't go out in hot weather unless I have to.
I am paranoid. If it was something serious, I am sure I would have been referred immediately,wouldn't I? In France they tend to be super-cautious about any health issues, so will always get a scan etc done straight away, and this can be done very quickly. In fact, here, you can make an appointment with a specialist yourself. I've decided to do this to stop myself worrying, but I feel I've had so many "close misses" (or huge scares) over the last twelve months, this must be it now, and its going to be something very serious and life-threatening. Right now I can't even bring myself to write the word of what I think it is. Should I trust my doctor? They are not limited by time/finances here, so I had a long and attentive appointment, and I should believe she was telling me the truth. But......Any reassurance would be appreciated. Thank you.
But, last week I noticed a mole on the left hand side of my back. It sounds silly but I honestly cant remember how long I've had it, or why I hadnt noticed it before. Its sort of light brown and almost diamond shaped. I went to my doctor here in France, and she examined and measured it, and told me to go back in a month and if need be she would refer me to a dermatologist. The mole apparantly has two colour in it. She told me not to worry, and was very reassuring. Although I felt fine after the appointment the uncontrollable fear is coming back fast and furious now, and I am scared to feel this way, yet again. I thought I was over it.
I was kept out of the sun as a child, and although I did, in my twenties, sometimes go to the beach and sunbathe, I have never made a habit of it. My skin is fair (I have brown hair and grey eyes), and now in my 40's, I just don't go out in hot weather unless I have to.
I am paranoid. If it was something serious, I am sure I would have been referred immediately,wouldn't I? In France they tend to be super-cautious about any health issues, so will always get a scan etc done straight away, and this can be done very quickly. In fact, here, you can make an appointment with a specialist yourself. I've decided to do this to stop myself worrying, but I feel I've had so many "close misses" (or huge scares) over the last twelve months, this must be it now, and its going to be something very serious and life-threatening. Right now I can't even bring myself to write the word of what I think it is. Should I trust my doctor? They are not limited by time/finances here, so I had a long and attentive appointment, and I should believe she was telling me the truth. But......Any reassurance would be appreciated. Thank you.