Davinci817
21-07-11, 05:04
My Very Long Story of Health Anxiety and How I Manged To Suffer With It!
For five years I have suffered with on going illness which my original doctor gave me the lovely diagnosis of "anxiety disorder" and that bandaid/plaster (married to a Brit, trying to be correct in my terminology lol) called Prozac.
After a year of still not feeling better on his wonder drug I found a website for women suffering with Peri/menopause. I took my 28 symptoms of the 34 listed to my Doctor who told me I was not old enough and "lets up your dose". Tried that method for a few more months and continued to doubt him when it still wasn't changing anything besides making me lethargic and fat.
Upon my own research I found a specialist that tested my hormones and sure enough the numbers proved I was right and he was wrong. Started BHRT progesterone and some other supplements and within a month was off Prozac and my quality of life was pretty good for over a year.
Right before/during this, I got a call from my GYN to tell me they had lost my pathology report from my yearly exam eight months earlier. "We need to see you today, you have cancer"!
I was rushed through some procedures and she wanted to go straight to surgery the following week for a hysterectomy. My brain kicked in and told her to stop, since her office had already obviously screwed up so bad I sure as heck didn't want her cutting my parts out. Got a second opinion, I did not have cancer but did have a very high grade of dysplasia. Husband and I decided after such a scare to go through with the hysterectomy but left the ovaries. So I had my ovaries (still had the hormones to contend with) and NOW I had Cancer brain :yesyes:. Onwards and upwards.......or is that Offwards and downwards?
Suddenly had an awful physical illness that had me in the bed for 4 days. Same Dr. Prozac, ran some tests. Results: could be gall bladder, could be PCOS (just had the other surgery six months earlier now you think my ovaries are diseased?) could be kidney stones but probably just anxiety....."want some more prozac?"! This is when I found a new Doctor!
The saga didn't end there OF COURSE. For the past year and a half I continued to have some physical illness but at least did have a Dr that wasn't tossing out prozac like a pez dispenser. Initially she treated me for GERD and a possible pinched nerve. Continued to have some other issues and she discovered back in April that I had H Pylori. Thank God the horrible treatment for that finally brought out the REAL issue. I had a low functioning gall bladder full of sludge but "no gall stones".
We are now up to two weeks ago when I had my gallbladder removed. My duct work was scarred so bad that it required an additional hour of surgery and my gallbladder was "full of stones that have likely been there for YEARS". (note the bold in the above paragraph)
Yup years! Oh joy :doh: I wasn't nuts and there had been something wrong.
Reading on gallbladder symptoms, I am now positive that was the initial problem five years ago. My "anxiety attacks" always happened after I ate. At first they were far and few between but then the more scared I got that nobody would ever find what was wrong with me, since they never had in the past, the more I really did have full blown panic attacks. Have recently learned that high levels of Estrogen can lead to all of the digestive issues that have plagued me. It all makes logical sense now!
Didn't just have one issue............I had loads of them lol.
When my Doctor recently ask me why I waited a month and a half after the HPylori treatment to come back to them, I sobbed and told her "because all along I was lead to believe this was what anxiety felt like". Never have seen a Doctor so humbled in my life, swear she had tears in her eyes and could not apologize enough. Glad for her to see what not paying attention to a patient can do but thankful she came into my life when she did!
I think I am on the road to recovering physically. Many of my complaints from years ago are now gone but....oh yes there is always a but. I am still having mild anxiety. Happy I can use the word mild at this point. So why the anxiety? Well I have twinge or pulling near my scars and I get worried, I have torn something. My Bowel movement is dark green, uh oh I am leaking bile. Have internal tremors/shaking they have not found what was really wrong with me. See the pattern?
Today - The Positive Productive Process Of Learning To Heal
Know it is time to have my hormone screening done and I am sure the worst of this now is probably an imbalance. Been doing CBT, Hypnotherapy and Accupuncture for a couple of months which is also helping me cope with moving on from this. All things are coming together now, my physical health as well as my emotional health. Now just need to work my treatments and get beyond this type of thinking that has been a learned habit for many years.
So I am here amongst several other forums/pages across the web and maybe my story will help someone else. Maybe someone else has a story that will carry me through moments of anxiety, should the need arise. Yes I admit to now suffering with Health Anxiety but refuse to accept I had Anxiety disorder the first couple of years of my battle. Glad to be on the mend physically but very pissed off and emotionally tired to have gotten to this mental state that now has to be dealt with.
Sorry for the novel but it is what it is and how I got from here to there. Also wanted to show that Dr's can be incorrect and miss things but if you think you are having a heart attack one night and the next day you are okay......you didn't have a heart attack! Watch for the patterns during attack, think about them the next day so you can learn what your anxiety is doing and causing you to feel and think. Do be proactive in your physical health but don't obsess over it! Then go do something positive for your mental health! I'm not an avid drug fan myself, which is why I am going down more of the hollistic approach of improving my state of mind. Hope there is a day I can lose the Xanax but for now they are my pacifier to have in my purse.
Take care, God Bless and may you all find some peace of mind from this horrible anxiety! Been there and done it all right there with ya!
For five years I have suffered with on going illness which my original doctor gave me the lovely diagnosis of "anxiety disorder" and that bandaid/plaster (married to a Brit, trying to be correct in my terminology lol) called Prozac.
After a year of still not feeling better on his wonder drug I found a website for women suffering with Peri/menopause. I took my 28 symptoms of the 34 listed to my Doctor who told me I was not old enough and "lets up your dose". Tried that method for a few more months and continued to doubt him when it still wasn't changing anything besides making me lethargic and fat.
Upon my own research I found a specialist that tested my hormones and sure enough the numbers proved I was right and he was wrong. Started BHRT progesterone and some other supplements and within a month was off Prozac and my quality of life was pretty good for over a year.
Right before/during this, I got a call from my GYN to tell me they had lost my pathology report from my yearly exam eight months earlier. "We need to see you today, you have cancer"!
I was rushed through some procedures and she wanted to go straight to surgery the following week for a hysterectomy. My brain kicked in and told her to stop, since her office had already obviously screwed up so bad I sure as heck didn't want her cutting my parts out. Got a second opinion, I did not have cancer but did have a very high grade of dysplasia. Husband and I decided after such a scare to go through with the hysterectomy but left the ovaries. So I had my ovaries (still had the hormones to contend with) and NOW I had Cancer brain :yesyes:. Onwards and upwards.......or is that Offwards and downwards?
Suddenly had an awful physical illness that had me in the bed for 4 days. Same Dr. Prozac, ran some tests. Results: could be gall bladder, could be PCOS (just had the other surgery six months earlier now you think my ovaries are diseased?) could be kidney stones but probably just anxiety....."want some more prozac?"! This is when I found a new Doctor!
The saga didn't end there OF COURSE. For the past year and a half I continued to have some physical illness but at least did have a Dr that wasn't tossing out prozac like a pez dispenser. Initially she treated me for GERD and a possible pinched nerve. Continued to have some other issues and she discovered back in April that I had H Pylori. Thank God the horrible treatment for that finally brought out the REAL issue. I had a low functioning gall bladder full of sludge but "no gall stones".
We are now up to two weeks ago when I had my gallbladder removed. My duct work was scarred so bad that it required an additional hour of surgery and my gallbladder was "full of stones that have likely been there for YEARS". (note the bold in the above paragraph)
Yup years! Oh joy :doh: I wasn't nuts and there had been something wrong.
Reading on gallbladder symptoms, I am now positive that was the initial problem five years ago. My "anxiety attacks" always happened after I ate. At first they were far and few between but then the more scared I got that nobody would ever find what was wrong with me, since they never had in the past, the more I really did have full blown panic attacks. Have recently learned that high levels of Estrogen can lead to all of the digestive issues that have plagued me. It all makes logical sense now!
Didn't just have one issue............I had loads of them lol.
When my Doctor recently ask me why I waited a month and a half after the HPylori treatment to come back to them, I sobbed and told her "because all along I was lead to believe this was what anxiety felt like". Never have seen a Doctor so humbled in my life, swear she had tears in her eyes and could not apologize enough. Glad for her to see what not paying attention to a patient can do but thankful she came into my life when she did!
I think I am on the road to recovering physically. Many of my complaints from years ago are now gone but....oh yes there is always a but. I am still having mild anxiety. Happy I can use the word mild at this point. So why the anxiety? Well I have twinge or pulling near my scars and I get worried, I have torn something. My Bowel movement is dark green, uh oh I am leaking bile. Have internal tremors/shaking they have not found what was really wrong with me. See the pattern?
Today - The Positive Productive Process Of Learning To Heal
Know it is time to have my hormone screening done and I am sure the worst of this now is probably an imbalance. Been doing CBT, Hypnotherapy and Accupuncture for a couple of months which is also helping me cope with moving on from this. All things are coming together now, my physical health as well as my emotional health. Now just need to work my treatments and get beyond this type of thinking that has been a learned habit for many years.
So I am here amongst several other forums/pages across the web and maybe my story will help someone else. Maybe someone else has a story that will carry me through moments of anxiety, should the need arise. Yes I admit to now suffering with Health Anxiety but refuse to accept I had Anxiety disorder the first couple of years of my battle. Glad to be on the mend physically but very pissed off and emotionally tired to have gotten to this mental state that now has to be dealt with.
Sorry for the novel but it is what it is and how I got from here to there. Also wanted to show that Dr's can be incorrect and miss things but if you think you are having a heart attack one night and the next day you are okay......you didn't have a heart attack! Watch for the patterns during attack, think about them the next day so you can learn what your anxiety is doing and causing you to feel and think. Do be proactive in your physical health but don't obsess over it! Then go do something positive for your mental health! I'm not an avid drug fan myself, which is why I am going down more of the hollistic approach of improving my state of mind. Hope there is a day I can lose the Xanax but for now they are my pacifier to have in my purse.
Take care, God Bless and may you all find some peace of mind from this horrible anxiety! Been there and done it all right there with ya!