Velma66
21-07-11, 18:58
Hi all
just need to get stuff off my chest really. I've had anxiety & depression for 7 months (been off work) & the last few weeks I'd made a breakthrough, felt so much better & more "normal" than I had in ages.
On Tuesday eve we took our cat to the vets, he had been getting increasingly skinny since we lost his brother in Feb of this year. We took him to get checked out & have his nails cut-whilst the vet was cutting his nails he was getting so stressed & upset but he hated the vets anyway. In the next instant he had a heart attack on the vets table & died instantly-they tried to revive him but no good. This was right in front of my husband & I. I cannot begin to describe the loss we feel, it was such a shock, I know he was old (wouldve been 17 next week) but it was how it happened-we feel so guilty, if we hadn't taken him he might still be here. I haven't stopped crying since & my panic attacks are back-my husband has been amazing but I know he's devastated too-we've managed to go out for a few hours today, the house feels so quiet & empty without any pets.
I feel constantly sick & anxious & on the verge of a panic attack all the time-I'm also experiencing derealisation.
We miss our cat desperately, I know we've only just lost him but I'm terrified of becoming really I'll again-I'm hanging on by my fingernails, I'm so scared of going back to that dark place-can't go through that again. Am I doing right by trying to keep going? I feel like I'm grieving for a close friend & fighting to keep out of the downward spiral, also can't get images of him dying put of my head. Any advice would be much appreciated.
just need to get stuff off my chest really. I've had anxiety & depression for 7 months (been off work) & the last few weeks I'd made a breakthrough, felt so much better & more "normal" than I had in ages.
On Tuesday eve we took our cat to the vets, he had been getting increasingly skinny since we lost his brother in Feb of this year. We took him to get checked out & have his nails cut-whilst the vet was cutting his nails he was getting so stressed & upset but he hated the vets anyway. In the next instant he had a heart attack on the vets table & died instantly-they tried to revive him but no good. This was right in front of my husband & I. I cannot begin to describe the loss we feel, it was such a shock, I know he was old (wouldve been 17 next week) but it was how it happened-we feel so guilty, if we hadn't taken him he might still be here. I haven't stopped crying since & my panic attacks are back-my husband has been amazing but I know he's devastated too-we've managed to go out for a few hours today, the house feels so quiet & empty without any pets.
I feel constantly sick & anxious & on the verge of a panic attack all the time-I'm also experiencing derealisation.
We miss our cat desperately, I know we've only just lost him but I'm terrified of becoming really I'll again-I'm hanging on by my fingernails, I'm so scared of going back to that dark place-can't go through that again. Am I doing right by trying to keep going? I feel like I'm grieving for a close friend & fighting to keep out of the downward spiral, also can't get images of him dying put of my head. Any advice would be much appreciated.