View Full Version : counselling are you Serious
so i have add this and wasent very impresed in fact i left after an hour and told the lady she dident have a clue .
i went in sat down she told me to tell her how i was feeling so i did nyway allmost 25 minuites later after i myself alone had finished :ohmy: she then started asking me about my general health i said are you serious have you just listened to a word i have just said . yes she says anxiety and panic attacks i said what about them <<< ME NOW counselling HER :mad:
really not for me its stupid ive had more help on this forum in the last 2 weeks than i have had in the past 9 years of my anxiety panics.:hugs:
but ium sure its not like this for everyone i just got really annoyed about that today and told another counseller at the place that she dident have a clue about anything i had told her about myself really REALLY annoyed me
anyone else ever experianced any know it alls ?:lac:
paula lynne
22-07-11, 09:18
Hi mate.x
Maybe it was a clash of personalities? Could you ask for another councellor?
They are highly trained to deal with things, but maybe what you need is a councellor that deals specifically with anxiety and panic issues. I wouldnt give it up though, its a very effective way of getting to the root of the problem, which will help your recovery in the long run. Hope the next session is better, maybe try writing down main points you want to talk about before you leave, and make notes while you are there. Best wishes, Paula x
Hi mate.x
Maybe it was a clash of personalities? Could you ask for another councellor?
They are highly trained to deal with things, but maybe what you need is a councellor that deals specifically with anxiety and panic issues. I wouldnt give it up though, its a very effective way of getting to the root of the problem, which will help your recovery in the long run. Hope the next session is better, maybe try writing down main points you want to talk about before you leave, and make notes while you are there. Best wishes, Paula x
i suppose that is one way i can look at it thasnk you paula
i went to counselling yesterday got worked up going had high expectations only to be told it was an introductory and i would be put on the list for treatment i am very wary about counseling as i don't see how people who have never experienced my life thoughts and feelings can make me feel better but giving it a go is better than nothing x
Anxious_gal
22-07-11, 10:41
I've been through 5! All totally useless . . But they are some good ones out there so keep looking :) I know how annoying it is whenyou feel smarter than the therapist , you need some one who guides you, gives you insight, someone you feel that can actually help you,that's why I like CBT therapy as I Am been given tools and things to actually work on to help improve my anxiety .
Vanilla Sky
22-07-11, 10:45
Counselling is no good for anxiety and panic , whats the point in talking about it ? Cbt is better , it gives you tools to help with it. I certainly didnt need to sit with someone and tell them how bad i was feeling and them sitting nodding their head asking me what do i need to do to help me feel better...... eh ??
Jon06121974
22-07-11, 11:13
Hi
When I was at my worst back in 2007 i tried most things including Councelling and Psychotherapist etc and spent well in advance of £1000 privately as I didn't want to wait 3 months through NHS. What a total waste of money. they may be well qualified but don't listen to what your saying half the time and apart from a select few have never been through what you are experiencing.
Whilst full recovery will probably never be 100% for me I am 90% good now and only have the odd issue if i get run down or get ill, but nothing compared to before.
Anxiety and Stress has changed my life for the better and I decided i wanted to work in this field and help others so i have got myself qualified as a Stress Management Trainer / Consultant and now mainly work with organisations to help improve employee wellbeing however I do also do some coaching and would advise anyone who is going to see specialist to ask questions about their own experiences first as most of the people practicing out there have only studied text books and have no idea how it actually feels to be suffering from this illness.
10 years ive had ocd anxiety and depression and not one councillor has been any use(cbt or otherwise). asking how pictures makes me feel from 15 odd yrs ago and tapping my legs, or continually talking and not getin word in edgeways is not my idea of `help`.
councillors are all the same i have seen many over yrs including the current one who wont stop talking. its funny cos wen i read ud walkd out thats exactly wat i was guna do today but i started gettin real upset and spoke up for first time in long time and said it wernt workin n were gunna review it next wk in which i will mention she needs to talk less.
Counselling is no good for anxiety and panic , whats the point in talking about it ? Cbt is better , it gives you tools to help with it. I certainly didnt need to sit with someone and tell them how bad i was feeling and them sitting nodding their head asking me what do i need to do to help me feel better...... eh ??
I actually found it very helpful for my anxiety, but maybe it depends on the counselling and counsellor.
My anxiety stems from a lot of stressful life experiences and events and to be able to talk with someone completely removed from my situation (ie, not a family or friend) was very, very good for me, as she went through those experiences with me, as well as present worries and anxieties, how I felt, etc. and that was very cathartic for me. I felt a weight off.
Anxiety doesn't just appear out of nowhere for anyone. It has a root cause, so IMO counselling can be very useful in analysing and discussing that root cause. It may not help with the effects and symptoms of anxiety and panic (I still have those) but it does help in other ways.
In order to gain from counselling, you also have to be prepared to give quite a lot and be open to trying it. It won't work for anyone who isn't at that stage.
evil monkey
22-07-11, 13:07
gurr at losing post. my fault for not frigging posting it, and going off and watering the grass. :p
the only place i heard the phrase panic attack was from a m8 after a club. the doc gave me the word anxiety which explained a few things but the only place i read about our mate adrenaline was here. counsellors have so far been pretty much yoosless, and just reminded me of a few things i already knew.
feel for you terror :hugs:
had in house counselling through Gp practice 10 years ago ............what a waste of time for both of us .
I knew more than the supposed counsellor .......and remember thinking are you ever going to ask me anything ? however she did give me a tape of no more worry stuff which helped a bit :huh: I just sat there wringing my hands .
Useless and dangerous actually . I was over my worst phase .but dread to think if I had been on the edge .
must be good ones out there .....but it has left me very wary indeed.
hope you find good one Terror .xxxx
Normally the first session of either counselling or therapy is a general chat so the person can get a better idea about you and your problems. General health does can also have a bearing on anxiety, which is probably why she mentioned it.
Also, good counsellors dont always seem like they are doing much, often they will get you to talk, then later they will pick up on things you have said and expand on them, so go back and give her another chance.
Remember you arent going to walk into a room and have someone 'cure' you in 10 minutes, it doesnt work like that
Hi, I agree with Mike... I've had enough counselling/psychotherapy to know that you can't expect instant results or rapport with any therapist. I wonder what people expect? There are no quick fixes or solutions to long-term anxiety, or deep-rooted emotional problems... we need patience and an open mind :)
Normally the first session of either counselling or therapy is a general chat so the person can get a better idea about you and your problems. General health does can also have a bearing on anxiety, which is probably why she mentioned it.
Also, good counsellors dont always seem like they are doing much, often they will get you to talk, then later they will pick up on things you have said and expand on them, so go back and give her another chance.
Remember you arent going to walk into a room and have someone 'cure' you in 10 minutes, it doesnt work like that
I so agree Mike.
At my very first session with my counsellor she basically laid all her cards on the table by saying that she wasn't there to talk at me and tell me what to do. She was there to listen to me open up, and help me pick my way through my tangled up mind. She made the analogy of the mind being a tangled up ball of wool which she helps me untangle.
A lot of counselling comes from the person being counselled, that is just the way it is. They can't work with you to sort things out if you don't give them some idea of what you are thinking and feeling TO sort things out.
I found it really hard at first, as I was so used to just bottling up my thoughts until they exploded, but once you get into it it really is very helpful.
hi:)
there are or were some poorly trained counsellors around who did more damage than good . guess it is the same in all aspects of health care .
I certainly did not expect instant results ........just some sort of communication.
Snowgoose, communication comes with time and an open mind... from personal experience I'm not always sure that anxiety sufferers are able to go into therapy with an open mind... I found group psychotherapy extremely challenging for just this reason... I think it's wrong to blame the therapist. Surely there is responsibility on our part too?
Hi Kibbutz,
good point and I do get it . But the first session is important for rapport...same for interviews etc ..........first impressions unfortunately do make am imprint.
I am talking 10 or more years ago when counselling was the IN THING . Lots of client based therapy etc and tinpot qualifications ..........and some really bad folk getting work in surgeries .
I get what you are saying ..............think perhaps I was unlucky ..........but it has clouded my view of counselling via in house GP surgery .
I was so upset by the experience.............and went knowing the work to be done was mine. bad apple I guess :shrug:
snowgoose, I totally understand where you are coming from.
I had my counselling through MIND, and I count myself very lucky that I did as I think that MIND being the high profile mental health organisation that they are, doubtless make certain they have good, well versed and well trained counsellors.
I am sure that things may well be different depending on where you are counselled. I think that is a terrible shame you had a bad experience with it as something like counselling is SO IMPORTANT to get right as the people needing counselling are so vulnerable.:weep:
I must admit, I didn't get much from a counsellor I saw. Having said that, looking back, I think I expected her to work miracles, and was massively disappointed when she didn't.
I hope you find someone who you bond with - that is my goal at the moment!
Roj. x
Snowgoose, I can totally relate to what you say - first impressions are definitely important. I once went to see a psychologist who spent the whole first session (and only :mad:) session I had with her looking bored and studying her perfect manicure, finishing by saying "And what is it you expect me to do?"
I've been fine with another psychologist and a couple of psychiatrists over the years and a MH nurse I saw recently. It's not always the patient's fault if things don't work - there are definite "bad apples" out there, as there are in every field.
Terror - don't let your experience put you off, hope you can find someone different that you can work with, as I say, they're not all bad xx
Hi there,
I've had quite a bit of counselling and therapy and now I'm training to be a counsellor myself. How successful therapy is definitely depends on the relationship between the client and counsellor because if they don't 'click' and can't relate to each other, it's not going to work. I recently went to see someone who kept going on about problems with my mum and insisting that having therapy with my mum would help, whereas I know it would make our relationship worse! It's also not the problem I wanted to focus on! The therapist needs to listen to the client about what their issue is!
Also, I think different therapies and methods work better for different problems. I think if someone just needs to talk and maybe gain some self-understanding, then counselling can be great. However, if you have a pscyhological problem like anxiety or depression that needs intervention to try and reduce the problem, then psychotherapy with a psychotherapist may be more beneficial.
I think a lot of people don't realise how difficult counselling/psychotherapy can be because it requires the client to work hard at solving their own problem but wit the help/advice from the therapist.
I guess the first session can be frustrating because you just want things to get better but like with any relationship, you need to get to know each other.
Anyway, hope I haven't waffled too much!
Good luck with finding a more suitable counsellor. I'm at the same stage!
counselling well i ave had it a few times i rember in 1995 i went to see one it was a 9 weeks session and i manged to go to 6 it was rubbish i sat in a room no bigger than a large cubored and he would just sit there holding his folder and not askin me any thing he said once you dont have to talk you can just sit herei thought what if someone is sitting in this small room lookin at you i felt i had to sit talkin and to be honest couldnt even tell you what i had sat and rambling about felt so uncomfortable any way what ever he he wrote in that folder i never got to no when my 9 weeks was up that was it before that i saw a phycitrist who saw me 2 times for a few mins and on second time he said oh so when yr partner comes home you will be ok thats noy what i wanted i wanted to be ok why he was away i then had a councilor bk in 2004 she was brill the forst thing she said was i am here for as long as it takes wich was good as when they give you a time limmite you find yr self stressing when it near the end cus yr not changed any way it was slow working but felt i was beging to think a little diffrent then it had took me 10mnths to get to this but then bang she left and i was left with no one to take her place sum realy bad stuff happend in 2005 and needed support but had nothing went right bk to being a wreck finaly got some cbt this year had a few sestins and it was way to fast it made me worse had to stop for a while and think about it again i no how you feel when you sit there and tell them how you feel they sit and nod there head and come out with some stupid question make you feel angry i look on to find somthing i no most of the cures are within our selfs but aye we plod on take care by for now trish x
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