lmb_nj
23-07-11, 17:10
This is going to long because I have to get it out.
I'm tring to manage this morning. I was calm yesterday evening. In fact that's a trend for the most part - being calm in the evening. But so as I wake up in the morning It starts this anxiety. This has been a week of this. I've been in touch with doctor and we are "medicating" and also I need to figure out how to handle this. therapy on wedneday.
Meds at moment:
5mg Citolopram evening - around 9 pm
10 mg ambien evening right before I go to bed - averaging 11 pm - maybe I should make that sooner.
.5 mg xanax evening right before I go to bed, plus .5mg two other times a day. morning ususally and then around 2 or 3 pm.
Like I said I've been in touch with my psych doc numerous times. - next time call tomorrow at 10 Am - but have to page him. Then "wait" for him to call back. I tired of this and I know i have to press on.
Last night in my calm I can tell myself you will survive, you will do this, you will get up tomorrow and handle what may come. But deep down I want "what may come" to be this state of calm I was feeling at night. Not what I'm feeling right now.
I exercised - 45 minute walk. I need to focus but a bit unsure what to do next. I was being positive - go to grocery store, go return shoes, but then I say lets wait until I'm calm later in the day - usually around 2 or so I start feeling the calmness. excuses.
focus, focus, focus.
I'm tired of this. yet I have no choice. And that causes anxiety. And it's so friggin hot here. I can't cry. the meds don't seem to let me. wonder if I could I could get out this frustration.
ugh.
I'm tring to manage this morning. I was calm yesterday evening. In fact that's a trend for the most part - being calm in the evening. But so as I wake up in the morning It starts this anxiety. This has been a week of this. I've been in touch with doctor and we are "medicating" and also I need to figure out how to handle this. therapy on wedneday.
Meds at moment:
5mg Citolopram evening - around 9 pm
10 mg ambien evening right before I go to bed - averaging 11 pm - maybe I should make that sooner.
.5 mg xanax evening right before I go to bed, plus .5mg two other times a day. morning ususally and then around 2 or 3 pm.
Like I said I've been in touch with my psych doc numerous times. - next time call tomorrow at 10 Am - but have to page him. Then "wait" for him to call back. I tired of this and I know i have to press on.
Last night in my calm I can tell myself you will survive, you will do this, you will get up tomorrow and handle what may come. But deep down I want "what may come" to be this state of calm I was feeling at night. Not what I'm feeling right now.
I exercised - 45 minute walk. I need to focus but a bit unsure what to do next. I was being positive - go to grocery store, go return shoes, but then I say lets wait until I'm calm later in the day - usually around 2 or so I start feeling the calmness. excuses.
focus, focus, focus.
I'm tired of this. yet I have no choice. And that causes anxiety. And it's so friggin hot here. I can't cry. the meds don't seem to let me. wonder if I could I could get out this frustration.
ugh.