lleksam
24-07-11, 14:37
Hey,
I'm new to the site but not new to anxiety.
I have suffered from OCD for about 8 years and after 1 year of therapy have got it under control!
I was given an anti depressant when I first got ill and when I finally came off the pills after my CBT I started having mood swings and brain fog / feeling vague.. I started googleing - I had found out myself that I had OCD from finding a forum mentioning it.
I googled myself into misery....I had so many blood tests and I totally believed I had Reactive hypoglycemia, I even got my own blood test kit..
I started reading about P.A.W.S and found a support group for it...I then read about depresionalization....(even writing this word scares me and makes my anxiety spike) - I read 1 article about it and sent myself into the worse panic ever...I ended up in hospital where I was given a new medication, an MMAO anti depressant. It made me suicidal and I was taken back to hospital where I spent two weeks recovering and going back on my old medication.
I feel defeated now...I thought I was doing so well.. Beaten the OCD and off the meds I was finally free and now I get stuck in worry spirals and I can't stop thinking about depersonalization...I always check my vision and "do I feel all there" and connected to the world..
I have had good days and weeks but it always comes creeping back and the thing is I do feel disconnected and have brain fog from time to time and it never scared me before..
I just wondered how do others deal with this, How do you stop checking something you use all the time? I read about people checking their breathing and I think it is the same thing really, you always breath and you always see and sometimes we all feel off and have strange sensations but how to live with it?
Live with the doubt or the feeling?
Thanks,
Kaneda
I'm new to the site but not new to anxiety.
I have suffered from OCD for about 8 years and after 1 year of therapy have got it under control!
I was given an anti depressant when I first got ill and when I finally came off the pills after my CBT I started having mood swings and brain fog / feeling vague.. I started googleing - I had found out myself that I had OCD from finding a forum mentioning it.
I googled myself into misery....I had so many blood tests and I totally believed I had Reactive hypoglycemia, I even got my own blood test kit..
I started reading about P.A.W.S and found a support group for it...I then read about depresionalization....(even writing this word scares me and makes my anxiety spike) - I read 1 article about it and sent myself into the worse panic ever...I ended up in hospital where I was given a new medication, an MMAO anti depressant. It made me suicidal and I was taken back to hospital where I spent two weeks recovering and going back on my old medication.
I feel defeated now...I thought I was doing so well.. Beaten the OCD and off the meds I was finally free and now I get stuck in worry spirals and I can't stop thinking about depersonalization...I always check my vision and "do I feel all there" and connected to the world..
I have had good days and weeks but it always comes creeping back and the thing is I do feel disconnected and have brain fog from time to time and it never scared me before..
I just wondered how do others deal with this, How do you stop checking something you use all the time? I read about people checking their breathing and I think it is the same thing really, you always breath and you always see and sometimes we all feel off and have strange sensations but how to live with it?
Live with the doubt or the feeling?
Thanks,
Kaneda