Adult separation anxiety - help anyone?

[Anx]

I always suffered from separation anxiety and had counselling when I was a teenager. It seemed to disappear for a while but now I am married it has returned, even worse. I can't be without my husband for a night, even thinking about it gives me bad panic attacks. He needs to go abroad in a few months, just for one night, and the thought of it has me crying, depressed and suffering all the regular panic symptoms. I am desperate to make him understand and cancel his trip, but on the other hand, I know I have to sort myself out.

I'm not sure how to go about gradually gearing myself up for it without panic. Does anyone have any ideas?

thanks.

[liftmeup]

hey anx,

What you can do now is make plans for yourself for that whole day and night. Doing fun things. Things that make you happy. Plans things with people you like. Maybe get a bunch of your favorite movies and invite people over that night. Maybe you can ask a family member or close friend to stay the night with you. Or you can stay with them. I hope these suggestions help. You will be ok hang in there.[^]

[taf]

Would staying with a buddy help? I am a real live worry wart about my own children...worried one day about my son at high school, as he has always been at same neighborhood school as I...now across town. Ok guys, I am a worry whimp about my kiddies LOL LOL
Anyhow, stayed at a friends and sewed a skirt...skirt looks hideous, but it really got my mind off the son worries...loll lol
Hope all's well with you. Any tasks which you could engage in such as painting, cooking with a friend or at home that night? When I am bugged, cooking and storing in freezer really engages my mind....whatever works? Good wishes!!!!! It'll go fine!!! xxo, Taf

[Anx]

Thanks for your suggestions. I had a similar situation before our baby was born - my husband had to go abroad for the night. I decided to stay at my parents and everything was fine until I tried to sleep... the anxiety was so bad I barely slept the whole night. It was such an awful experience and I know it will be like that this time.

I'm embarrassed to ask a friend to stay - they are all married and it would seem a really weird thing to ask them to stay a night. I don't want to tell people about my anxiety because I know a lot of people would think I am exagerrating and being immature.

[Ammeg]

this is probably a stupid suggestion but I suffer from agrophobia and can't go out alone, so my man takes me out say to the shop takes me in and then waits for me in the car we built up to ig gradually but I found it was the best way!! so mayb you could try the same sort of thing? i know its a pain especially in the nights but maybe your hubby could leave you for a little while and keep doing it?? hope it helps a bit!!!
Ammegxxx

[liftmeup]

Hey Anx,
Maybe you could talk to a doctor about some meds that would help you to relax and sleep. Or you could get a sleep aid yourself from the store. Maybe staying at your parents house that night would be a good idea seems they understand a bit more. Ok then, take care.

[bubblestar]

Hi

i totally sympathise with you, im exactly the same but mines not anxiety from being away from a partner.. mines from being away from home and my mum.
iv had anxiety since i was very young so i depended on her from day 1.. now if im away or shes away.. even sometimes longer than a few hours in a day i am so panicky and totally anxious the whole time. i cant break that cycle.

its a really embarrassing thing to admit, cos being 22 and still needing your mum is kinda pathetic.

so i totally know what your going through.. and its not much fun. just try and focus on distracting yourself and finding something to keep you occupied.
Good luck.. and if you find a way to get through it smoothly, let me know!

xx

[jackie]

i hope you can over come this. i too hate my hubby being away but he has to go for work but i always make sure i have some member of my family roped in to stay with me. i know it is not hubby but it definitely takes the edge of the fear and lonliiness

could you do this

jackie

[Anx]

Even if I had arranged to have family stay over instead of hubby, I would still be anxious about it, and could well have panic attacks even when they are there.

Plus I find this problem of mine quite embarrasing and although my parents know, I don't think they realise the extent. I don't think they will understand either.

My husband has never had a panic attack and says he can't imagine what I go through. He is supportive but I think if you have never been through the same thing, you can't possibly understand enough and will always think the person is exagerrating their feelings.

He has said he'll cancel the trip coming up in August (although relieved, I feel SO guilty because he really wanted to go) but it has been a serious message to me to get this anxiety problem sorted out so he is able to go away for a night and not leave me in a panic.

[swhite]

Awee... I'm so sorry you're having this issue. I actually thought I was the only one that couldn't be away from my husband. I remember feeling that when I was a child toward my mother, but now it's my husband. I hate putting that burden on him. I'm really hoping it will all be over soon. I may go back on Lexapro.. that really helped me deal with it. Good luck!! xoxo, Sandra

[katies]

Know how you are feeling. My separation anxiety is with my mum and I am 35 years old and living with my partner !!!!! Seems to make no sense seeing as I have a wonderful fiance and daughter but just cannot cope when my mum is on hols or busy for the day. I have my own key to her house and even when she is not there I go there during the day and feel more relaxed than in my own home - baffles me !!! My mum has been away this weekend and isn't back until about 6pm tonight and I have had awful anxiety all weekend and am dreading the day ahead of me today !

To be honest I have no answers for you just thought it would help to know that you aren't alone.

Love N Light

Katie x