Dealing with a partners health anxiety/depression and general anxiety

[lonelykatana]

I am 18 years old male my self, for the past I'd say 2/3 months I have been stressed out of my head worry about not passing my A level exams.
Normally, exams do not phase me at all. But these final exams had me in tears often, which is very uncharacteristic. Then there is the worry of leaving home and living by my self, which as much as I am looking forward to that, knowing I am not going to be able to call on the parents when things go tits up its a terrifying prospect.
Since the exams have finished, I have been suffering depression and anxiety, which seems to have manifested its self into health anxiety (Convinced I have a brain tumour...)

But thats enough about me.
As the title suggests, this is about my partner. A little background may well be of some use, (Feel free to skip this part!) We have been together 5 years, she really is a best friend to me (Cliché, whatever :roflmao:) We've been through a whole lot of crap to be fair, family problems, relationship problems, growing up together ect.. (more Cliches for you) I share just about everything with her without questioning it.
She knows what I am suffering from, but she, and I quote 'just doesn't understand it'. And as a result, its taking a very clear toll on her and out relationship in general.

She say she wants to help out, (which I have no doubts! shes a bloody saint her.) but she just doesn't know how. Which is leading her to get pretty upset!

I dont want to start hiding how im feeling, but we also cant go on like this, its not fair on her to be getting down about my problem simply because she doesn't understand it fully!


So, basically I want to help her to understand. Because honestly, I feel pretty guilty that I am bringing her down.
So how do you even start to go about explaining things to your partner?
No doubt you lot are far far wiser than I, and I would really be thankful for your advice.

How do you explain to someone you think you have a brain tumour when you clearly have none of the symptoms? This anxiety stuff must make us look like madmen sometimes :scared15::scared15:

Cheers guys.

[qrydem1987]

This is how i explained my condition to loved ones...

Due to stress and worry or whatever reason lead to the anxiety disorder. my brain has gone into survival mode.. The sub concious part of my brain has forced me into a temporary state of high alert. Every Symptom, Sensation, Sight, Sound, enviorment my brain is constantly anaylising everything around me looking for danger. The body is not meant to have these feelings for long periods of time which in turn gives me symptoms. As it is very hard work for the brain to keep on such a high alert. I feel like i have no energy, find it difficult to concentrate get confused and my thoughts race 100 MPH. Most of the time i conciously know that there is nothing seriously wrong with me but imagine having a headache, brainfog, dizzy, sick, tired, or whatever symptoms you personaly get 24 hours a day. But during high anxiety and panic my bodies natural reaction and the survival fight or flight response i can not think clearly and are filled with irrational thoughts like brain tumour as its very hard for the concious part of the brain to truely accept these symptoms as anxiety but physical illness is far easier to believe. Which in turn feeds my anxiety and panic and thus the cycle is complete... High Anxiety, Symptoms, leads to googling / Diagnosing myself / worry leads to more Anxiety and Panic. I need help to stop diagnosing myself and re-assurance when in high anxiety and panic that i am not in danger as my thoughts have gone back to the basic survival instinct not the me that you know and love.


Its very hard to explain and for someone who doesnt understand. But something along these lines i think is best.

[qrydem1987]

Oh forgot 1 thing.. Remind her thats its not permanent and when you get better you will more than make up for it lol

[lleksam]

Hey,

When I was diagnosed with OCD I told my GF. I too, felt guilty about my anxiety problems and that I found it difficult to function sometimes doing this normal things in the world.

I asked my GF what was her biggest fear, I said remember the anxiety you get from the that fear and imagine living with it 24/7 and feeling like you could never stop that thought.

My GF then did a lot of reading about OCD and really educated herself about it and even went to the doctor to talk about how she could help me.

Maybe your GF could do the same?

[M155anthr0p3]

I've explained until I'm blue in the face to my OH but he still doesn't get it.....
I'm told to pull myself together or to stop being a nutter.
I don't bother anymore to be honest...

....just me myself & I