Worries of MS, really anxious

[VioletsInABreeze]

I’m 19, since February I’ve been jumping to conclusions about my health (diasgnosing myself with eye cancer, cancerous moles, a kidney infection, and more recently a brain tumour).

Since last Monday, I’ve been paranoid I has MS or a problem with my nervous system.

Initially I was just worrying 3 weeks back because my muscles one day suddenly started to twitch. It started with my thumb, and it did it frequently throughout that day, but the twitching would be one place, take a break, and then jump to somewhere else.

The frequency of twitches has reduced since it started 3 weeks ago and now, it might occur for a few seconds 1 – 3 times during the day. I know that it always comes on in my legs if I’ve done a lot of walking or a cardio workout.

My main worry at the moment is why I keep feeling unsteady when walking about.

It began last Wednesday, after sitting for 2 hours in the cinema, when I started walking around afterwards, my knees felt really weak. Because of the twitching, I was really paranoid about something like this developing, so I freaked out and my focus was stuck on this. Also, when I stood still, it felt like I was swaying, even if the weak feeling in my knees went.

I keep finding the weakness in my knees or the unbalanced feeling in my feet comes on after I’ve been sat for ages (which I have been doing so for a month). Last summer holiday I was doing at least 30 mins of intense exercise every day.

The thing is I’ve yet to fall over or even trip over my feet. Yesterday I walked about 6 miles and didn’t stumble once despite my knees feeling so weak, same for a few days on Saturday back when I was stood up for ages and walking a lot. It’s just I did freak out yesterday as I kept I lightly brushed past my walking companion twice (I felt like I was walking like a crab), as well as a few chairs in a café.

Weird thing is, since that 6 mile walk yesterday, the swaying feeling when stood still didn’t occur this morning. It’s like my balance felt stronger. Same goes for a few moments ago when I was supervising my little cousin.

But I am really freaked out, because I’ve been stumbling over the odd word in a sentence too, BUT this occurred way before ANY of this, it really tends to happen when my mouth’s dry and I did this last summer as well. I can however sing lyrics perfectly fine and if I think out what I want to say, the words come out fine.

I do wonder if a bit of the swaying has been psychological I’ve imagined a few times I was swaying whilst sat down or lying in bed.

So, the main things that are freaking me out;
- The swaying about when walking
- Feeling like I’m swaying when stood still (but NOT unbalanced like when you’ve spun around and around)
- Twitching muscles
- Stumbling over words

>_< I honestly worry I’ve got something awful and I'm so scared, but of course, that's health anxiety talking! @_@

[looking4answers]

If you walked six miles uneventful you probably dont have MS but then again im not a doctor but if I was a betting man,I would put my money on anxiety. Hope you feel better soon.

[luckyme]

i i have the same worries as you but i feel different things like vibrations in my boy like its shaking at night and i get pins an needles. i dont know what it is and i have convinced myself that i have MS and it really scares me. The truth is that anxiety can make you feel like you are have many things you dont have. sometimes i feel pain in my chest for weeks and i think its my heart and a couple weeks later i start obsessing about MS and the chest pain is gone. its crazy. i know how you feel.

Its sad because sometimes my symptoms are so bad i feel like i have weeks to live. i hope you feel better. please remember you are not alone

[VioletsInABreeze]

@Looking4answers : That’s a really good point! : ) My friend tried convincing me that if I had MS, I should be falling over or blacking out because of the condition. The really weak feeling in my knees is what scares me the most as it came on 3 weeks back when I wasn’t even anxious or stressed.

@Luckyme: It really so awful and scary! Especially when you really, really awful morbid thoughts about it and you’re convinced you’ve got it. :( But I’ve done that too actually! It felt like my legs were vibrating when sat down or in bed, but I think it’s because I was so focused on the sensation it intensified it. In fact, now that I’m trying to focus on that sensation, it’s sort of coming on a little. If I don’t focus on it, I don’t feel it at all. It could just be the natural flow of blood we’re really focusing!

I’ve had that too! For example, when I focused on something else I’m scared of, such my phobia of choking to death, which came back for one day last week, the swaying whilst standing feeling didn’t bother me as much, and it didn’t seem to be as intense.

I also find right now when I focus on the aching muscles in my arm, I wonder because I’ve been prodding it / stretching it to see what’s wrong and worrying about it so much, it’s just amplified the aching feeling in it.

Never the less, thank you so much for sharing your experience with me! Anxiety really feels so isolating but this forum is definitely offering some comfort!