So envious of people

[xJust_Sarahx]

Hi
I cant help but feel so envious of everyone and its really getting me down. Seeing people with there friends out the window having a laugh and all dressed up to go out, and on facebook all my old college mates and old school mates posting new pictures of fun times and things.
I wish that was me. Im so scared to even go to the shop incase i get breathless and cant catch my breathe.

Im doing nothing and im always housebound, im so scared of going out and when i do everything feels so exposed and i just panic and cant breathe. I hate that feeling, im useless i really am and im jealous of people who have the will power to do things and think positivly, i wish i could.

The doctors dont reassure me one bit, they make me feel bad like im wasting there time. I just dont know what to do. If i didnt have kids i dont know how i would get through anything.
I feel like everyday is my last day and when i wake up i feel glad to be alive and of survived.

Im debating whether to write letters to everyone that means summit to me and to my kids just incase i die soon because i feel so ill and i know somethings wrong with me. I feel so alone :(

[KayleighJane]

Hi Sarah, I was just reading your post and felt compelled to write back to you because I do understand how your feeling at the moment as I have been through exactly the same myself.

I am getting slowly better with the help of medication, cbt and good family support. Do you take any meds or have any counselling or cbt? I used to feel the same as you, I would see groups of friends out in the street laughing and having fun and I would actually feel like I hated them even though I didn't know them just because they were so happy and carefree.

If your doctors are making you feel like this then I would see about changing them because their attitude won't be helping you and what you need is a sympathetic and supportive GP.

Things do get easier with time and a lot of patience and also understanding and accepting that these are just panic attacks and no harm will come to you, I have been feeling like this since january and get the same breathless sensations as you described and I am still around lol (only just mind!)

I hope this may have helped you ever so slightly and I hope things start looking up for you soon.

Kayleigh x

[xJust_Sarahx]

Hi Kayleigh
Thanks for your reply. I have been given medication but it knocked me sick and really dizzy and because of the way i am i panic that im going to have an allergic reaction.. a breathing one to medication, so i havn't took the other lot, but the doctor knows this and she referred me to a councellor, but this onoe is different, she doesnt do CBT like the past one did a couple of years. This councellor doesnt really get me i dont think. I then went back to the doctors and asked bout the CBT i used to get but she said that the councelling is what she feels i will benefit from.

So basically i am begging for help, and i just feel alone like noone takes me seriously. I honestly have noone i can confide in to.

x

[loveletter]

Hi Sarah I thought for a moment it was me that had wrote your post and I thought it was just me that felt this way.
I struggle so much about being envious over other people as I do not want to feel this way.
I almost cry sometimes on fb when I see people doing nice things and it is never me.
Every day and every night almost I sit here alone.
I have 3 sons that all live at home age 29 23 and 14 but I am very much alone and hardly ever go out as I can not go out the house alone as I am scared of going so dizzy that I collapse and I walk a bit funny some times as I always feel off balance and hang my head to the side.
My husband died 4 years ago age 40 and I really think I will be on my own for the rest of my life.
I have only a few friends but do not see them often I have one friend over every Friday night for a few hours but not much more then that. I only get to go out about once a month as people seem busy doing there own thing and have not got time to be taking me out.
How long have you been like this