help terrified of melanoma......

[english rose]

im terrified of melanoma and its taking over my life, i hate myself for getting into this state. ive seen several drs and even seen my derm 3 times in past 2 months and he has taken a few pics but reassured me and i go back again end sept!!! anyway im still constantly checking moles etc im obsessed with them!! im just anxious incase derm has made a mistake. my husband just cant get his head round this and hates my constant checking, googling etc anyway my question is if i had a melanoma would it be constantly changing and getting worse??? mine havent changed since he saw them but so terrified everyone is missing something.. help me......please x

[looking4answers]

Fear is a terrible thing worse than what we are afraid of. Im 56 and really should be worry free and I sit and wonder where all the fear of things come from. I want just to say im not going to be afraid and and all of my fears fall away but I dont know how. I just wanted you to know that you arent alone and hope you start feeling better soon.

[diane07]

My son has tons of moles and constantly worries about them, i have to check them for him and every now and then when i can't alleviate his worries i send him off to the docs, so you are not alone with this worry.

[countrygirl]

My aunty had malignant melanoma and I saw it before she was operated on and believe me once seen never forgotten! It was jet black and size of a penny with red inflamed edge. You instinctively recoiled from it as it looked horrible. This was 15 yrs ago and she is alive and well at 82 yrs old.

Try and come up with a sensible strategy for your fears - this always helps me. You only need to check your moles etc once every 3 months at most. So you could photograph all your moles every 3 months and compare pictures or you could measure your moles every 3 months and see if any have grown.
This is still in the obsessive compulsive range of behaviour:yesyes: but then thats what we have and your husband may be happy to do this if you do not talk about it or harass him in between if you see what I mean. I know you will find this very hard to do but sometimes having a plan to stick to can stop the worst of our ocd behavior with health.

[bloxy]

I can only echo what countrygirl has said, brilliant advice.

I have this fear as well and this time last year I was in a constant state of anxiety over it, last summer was absolute torture. Then hubby took some photos of my moles and stored them in a locked file on the laptop (so I couldn't get to them) and we started off with him checking my moles for changes, against the pictures, once a week. Then we moved to once a month and now we are at every 3 months.

This has helped me a lot and the idea of going to a derm fills me with dread but, this way I know that they are being kept in check and anything happens and I can get it seen to.

[english rose]

thanks everyone for your replies!! its so comforting to know that people understand.:) great advice about taking photos my hubby will def help me out with that. even though im still panicking i do feel alot better than i did a few months ago although so far this summer has been tough with me plastering on factor 50 and always wearing a cardigan etc. i just need to relax and keep telling myself that ive seen a derm and all is ok and i will get further reassurance in sept at my return appt. i just need to learn to get everything into perspective. but thats HA for you ..... :unsure:

[Cali54321]

Hi English,

I'd encourage you to read my posts on my melanoma fears which peaked in May after seeing a PSA on tanning beds and melanoma showing a 19 year old girl who had died. It was the start of my anxiety which only spiraled out of control turning into checking, googling, panicking, doctors visits, you name it.

Some things that helped me were to visit the site EVERYTIME I felt scared and I would read others fears on melanoma and the advice they got, realizing you are not alone is the 1st step to getting better.

The next step is talking to your doctor about your health anxiety, it's probably a 100% chance the only thing that's wrong with you is you have health anxiety.

I researched the heck out of melanoma and learned that reading stories of people with it is not the right thing to do. Over 90% of people who had melanoma and lived long happy lives and they don't spend time telling their story on the internet. The only ones you are going to find are those who waited too long.

It's one of the most curable diseases with early detection...MOST people who get it have never even heard of it and never thought to check their moles, so feel fortunate that you are aware and be vigilant but don't panic. The fact that a) it's curable b) you are on top of it and c) it's actually considered rare compared to other skin cancers -- means you are in good, no great shape! I know the lifetime risk is a bit higher in the UK then the US, but here its around 2% for lifetime risk, thats if I you live to be 80. 2% is tiny...

Also, realize that melanoma doesn't just happen overnight, people who get and die from melanoma let changes go for months or even years before it's too late...people like us would NEVER let something go unchecked...

I hope this helps, I am better about my moles, it took a few months but it's nice to be back! Wishing you all the best!