ocd the cause of anxiety/depression even after all these years??

[panictomuch]

Well about 5 years ago I started 'having to do things' I firstly remember puttin mascara on and I had to keep puttin it on until "it felt right" then I remember I had to look out the window everythime I heard a car go past. And ever since then ive just had other things. For example: when I'm hanging clothes up I have to do it until 'it feels right or a certain amount of times. Or when I turn a page I have to turn it a certainway so it "feels right" also when I'm walkin down the street I see registration plates I have to read the last three letter 3 times or until "it feels right" or if I'm sat watchin tele amd I read the name of the tele over and over. I'm also constanly thinkin about somethin. I don't always have to do things but sometines I think if I don't do somethin sometin bad will happen and not always to me either. But at the same time I think don't be redicelous. The most horrible thing is that I have to kiss my baby a certain amount of times at bed time and say night love you see you in mornin and sometimes I have to say it three times but twice until it feel right. Sometimes I can just say no I'm not doin it and I walk away and that would be it. But ive never told anyone. I'm just wonderin if it could of just gradually brought anxiety on now since havin a baby?? I remember I was very clean with bottles etc. I woud sterilise dummies everytime she wasn't usin it even if it was for a second. If I touched the teat I would have to sterile it even if I just did do etc and I had to wash my hands allll the time but I seem to be abit better with that now that she is older. I went to doctors 3 times with 3 different doctors. On said stress one said anxiety. One said depression but I havnt mentioned this ocd I think I've got and had for years. I've been reeferred for counciling after bein told depression. I start it in a coule of week. I just don't know what to do. I've been tryin to figure out what's goin on with me and the ocd came forst.

Rambling on I know but just wanted to make sure I said as much as I can think of

[Tinker]

Hi there,
Just read ur post and I suffer frm OCD panic/anxiety. I av had it 4 many years and never spk bout it as it wasn't so bad t deal wit. An as u av said wen u had ur baby u sterilised excessive etc. I dne the same wen I had my baby an I think from ther it got worse to the point wer everythin just become so distressing an difficult to deal with. I cnt give u much adv as am in the same boat as urself looking for the answer t feel normal again, but I believe tha medication an cbt (cognitive behaviour therapy) r the best approach t tackle this. I av never taking anythin 4 this myself but am seeking cbt. There are loads of self help books u can buy too can I hear can help. I av just ordered a book on amazon so once I get into it I will let u no if it's any good as it's got loads of good feed back on it.

Tinker x