View Full Version : Derealization Reassurance

03-08-11, 21:58
Hello everyone, iv been reading this forum for the past month or so, but this is my first post. Iv read almost every post regarding dp/dr on this forum i just need little reassurance to keep me going, so thanks in advanced for the understanding and the support.

For the past month and 2 weeks iv suffered from constant derealization that was induced in my opinion by prolonged anxiety, post traumatic stress, and panic attack. By the way im 25 years old.

A little background story:

At the end of may, my cousin died on the street, i was among the first to get on the scene and i didn't know he died until the moment i got there and saw his body, and when i got there i couldn't feel anything but helplessness and anger. He was just 35 and left a wife and one year old kid. (The reason for his death was heart attack due to weight issue.)

After that i couldn't sleep for weeks, i simply felt terrible. During that time i got heart palpitations, because of my cousins heart attack and my palpitations my anxiety went through the roof and landed on the moon(btw i don't have weight issues). I went to check my heart and everything was fine, the dr said it was stress, did blood work and was fine again.

But my anxiety was very high, i didn't sleep regularly nor i ate regularly.

Then on June 25th i got a panic attack during that moment i was sure, this is it, my end. My mom and my girlfriend were around they composed me and calmed me down. Then tomorrow night i got another panic attack, but this time when the panic attack was over my derealization stayed with me it didn't go away like the day before.

At the beginning, on hypothetical scale from 0 to 5 my derealization was 5 i had depersonalization only during the panic attack. I was really lost i thought i had some permanent damage to my brain, or i was simply going crazy. I had intrusive thoughts, my short term memory was really bad, started questioning everything... I also became asocial and was developing agoraphobia.

Then i found this forum, and realized this was not so uncommon. After a week with derealization, i started visiting a therapist. With her help i started going out, socializing, driving again living a regular life.

Currently my derealization is at level 2, its bearable, i dont question anything, but just dont feel quite like myself.

I had flashes of reality twice two weeks ago, during that time i accepted this state of mind and was really calm, but than my anxiety spiked again and got me back to square one. Now im most of the time at 2 i might be at 1 occasionally but then ill spike to 3 and get back to 2.

Now i plan to start exercising from tomorrow and be calmer. Im not on any medications per se, but im taking supplemental vitamins, b-complex, and omega oil. I also plan to start my hobby of building model planes again just to keep myself occupied instead of watching tv or playing games.

For the people that got over this, was it a gradual process to better, or did you have spikes to worse occasionally?

P.S. Sorry for the long post, and gramatical/spelling mistakes, english is my second language.

03-08-11, 22:08
Hi Ezio
I'm sorry that you had such a bad time. In my experience recovery is gradual and there are spikes of feeling worse. The thing to remember is that every little success matters and that a bad experience does not cancel out all the good work you've done. Look upon these times as a chance to practice what you've learnt and realise that your nerves have been sensitised by your bad experiences and give yourself time to recover.
I hop you feel better soon