maxine2k11
05-08-11, 02:11
Hi my name is maxine and i am 47 years old. I have suffered anxiety and panic attacks for 16 years and have been on and off antidepressants for that amount of years. I have just read through the symptoms pages and was amazed that in those 16 years have suffered every single one of those symptoms at one time or other. I had been so ill at times that my legs wouldnt move without collapsing, i had the dizzy falling over feelings i was so tense i couldnt be touched it would just send me into a panic spasm it was hell for a good few years and cost me two marriages.
However i recovered through 18months of counselling that was torturous at times, but what helped in the long run was changing my way of thinking once i realised they where symptoms and i could was going to say choose but thats not helpful when you feel so ill, i actually read a book about thinking too much and what you think is how you feel so i slowly started to get better. I couldnt get on a bus without panicking and queueing in a bank or supermarket was impossible. I forced myself to do things i set myself thing to do. I decided one day to get a job i went for the worse job possible really but i had to push myself I went to work in a call centre and had to get a bus there and back. It wasnt easy it was awful but i was on antidepressants at the time which helped me. I didnt last long about 4 months the job was stressful but i got my life back i took control. I then went to another call centre i told them the problems i had and they where supportive in the first job i tried to hide it but which puts pressure on. the second job helped and when you talk to people you find that people you see or sit next to actually suffer theirselves or have family who do.
Anyway 7 years down the line i still have an occasional bowt of daytime anxiety but i am now a very successful pub manageress who spends alot of time banking and travelling alone on buses and trains to strange town to do pub reliefs.
That was the positive stuff now to why i am here at 2.00 in the morning i cant sleep. I lay down to go to sleep i feel myself falling and bang i am awake its like my heart gives a bang or the falling panics me or i cant breath or my throats going to close up so i am wide awake again and afraid to go to sleep so i stay awake until i cant stay awake any longer, which causes me to be exhausted the next day it is becoming a vicious circle. Now to quote myself it is only a symptom along with the heartburn and discomfort that i am also feeling! so i have come on here to reasure myself and hopefully somebody else has suffered this and can advise. I have come along way and dont want to slip back. The anxiety is creeping in because i bought some b complex vitamins and some valerian and hop tablets from health shop to help and i havent took any just incase of side effects. I intend beating this without antidepressants because i do wonder if 5 years on prozac on repeat prescription for that whole time without seeing the doctor might have caused some problem. The one positive thought that i try to keep is that anxiety is a habit we learn so i need to unlearn it! on other days i think i am an anxiety sufferer and maybe i always going to go through the occasional bad time.
any suggestions or someone suffering the same please reply. sorry if i hav waffled too much . hope my post gives a little hope. x
However i recovered through 18months of counselling that was torturous at times, but what helped in the long run was changing my way of thinking once i realised they where symptoms and i could was going to say choose but thats not helpful when you feel so ill, i actually read a book about thinking too much and what you think is how you feel so i slowly started to get better. I couldnt get on a bus without panicking and queueing in a bank or supermarket was impossible. I forced myself to do things i set myself thing to do. I decided one day to get a job i went for the worse job possible really but i had to push myself I went to work in a call centre and had to get a bus there and back. It wasnt easy it was awful but i was on antidepressants at the time which helped me. I didnt last long about 4 months the job was stressful but i got my life back i took control. I then went to another call centre i told them the problems i had and they where supportive in the first job i tried to hide it but which puts pressure on. the second job helped and when you talk to people you find that people you see or sit next to actually suffer theirselves or have family who do.
Anyway 7 years down the line i still have an occasional bowt of daytime anxiety but i am now a very successful pub manageress who spends alot of time banking and travelling alone on buses and trains to strange town to do pub reliefs.
That was the positive stuff now to why i am here at 2.00 in the morning i cant sleep. I lay down to go to sleep i feel myself falling and bang i am awake its like my heart gives a bang or the falling panics me or i cant breath or my throats going to close up so i am wide awake again and afraid to go to sleep so i stay awake until i cant stay awake any longer, which causes me to be exhausted the next day it is becoming a vicious circle. Now to quote myself it is only a symptom along with the heartburn and discomfort that i am also feeling! so i have come on here to reasure myself and hopefully somebody else has suffered this and can advise. I have come along way and dont want to slip back. The anxiety is creeping in because i bought some b complex vitamins and some valerian and hop tablets from health shop to help and i havent took any just incase of side effects. I intend beating this without antidepressants because i do wonder if 5 years on prozac on repeat prescription for that whole time without seeing the doctor might have caused some problem. The one positive thought that i try to keep is that anxiety is a habit we learn so i need to unlearn it! on other days i think i am an anxiety sufferer and maybe i always going to go through the occasional bad time.
any suggestions or someone suffering the same please reply. sorry if i hav waffled too much . hope my post gives a little hope. x