HIV fear slowly returning :(

[lorenza]

I had a HIV test done in January even though I was low risk because I was freaking out that I had it and I'd given it to my boyfriend and we were both going to die etc. And it was negative of course, and I've been doing quite well with putting it out of my head.

But now its summer and I'm home for the holidays and away from my boyfriend and at night I find it difficult to sleep so I focus on things. And my mind is playing tricks on me trying to find ways to convince me I have HIV.

e.g. I was assaulted when I was last drunk so I don't remember it (I try and get past this by thinking the last time I was that drunk was 6 months before my test so even if I had been assaulted without realising (UNLIKELY) the test counts for that.

But now I've started googling rare case studies where people have taken longer than six months to seroconvert, e.g with jaundice caused by Hepatitis C infection, other immune system affecting diseases etc.

I really don't want to retest because I feel like if I do, I'm going to get in that pattern and keep retesting over and over.

ARGH.

[Anxious_gal]

Part of you knows it's just a thought and the other part of you googles in an attempt to prove that your thought might be real.

I guess your feeling some what conflicted.
You and your partner both got tested and it came back clear.
If you think it would help there are lots of GUM and sexual health clinics around that don't take any personal details and do a HIV/aids blood test.

If you know that getting tested again won't help, then maybe your having an POCD thought? An irrational thought that you can't seem to shake off even though you know it not to be true .

I'm not sure what the treatment is though.
I do know that it usually take a few encounters with an infected person to catch aids.

You don't have aids you should be happy about that!!
Your healthy and your husband is healthy.
All the tests came back ok.

You might find this article helpful if it relates to you at all

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purely_Obsessional_OCD

[southey]

If your negative test in January was 3 months after any potential exposure then you are conclusively negative and do not require further testing.

Forget about the six month thing it's just information overload. The 3 month test is conclusive and final.

Steve.