snowwhite
08-08-11, 01:39
Hello ...
I am new here, but I wanted to post this, so I could start hearing peoples opinions on this situation .....
I've had anxiety problems since I was preg. with my first child when I was 20, we now have 3 grown sons ~ I've suffered with anxiety through the years, on and off ~ I am 53 and in "normal" health, well, except for the fact that I am in the full throws of perimenopause, which is so much fun!:weep:
The anxiety through the years, would come and go ~ but I was never really completely rid of it. I never took anything for it, until 2006, when I began to take xanax, which thank God, really does help! I take it only when I need it, but lately, well, things haven't been to good for us financially here, and so, I end up taking 2 a day, they are half a mg. each . Now to add even MORE stress and anxiety, my M.D. is on this "get off drugs" kick, so now he wants to wean me off xanax....now, I totally understand what he's getting at ... I am no drug addict, thank you, but, I have tried before to do this myself, to sort of "wean" myself off them, and not take them even if I needed it, even if the anxiety was bad because I didn't want to become dependant on them, but it never works. In the end, I HAVE to take one, and boy, what a difference. Well, long story short, he is talking about lessening the dose, and then eventually getting me off them .... now, this is causing GREAT ANXIETY for me! Naturally, it would. This is the only thing that works! I deal with IBS as well, and when the IBS starts, oh boy, the only thing that'll stop those intestinal spasms, is xanax!
If we had the money, I'd go to a psych, because I know they are not as bad when it comes to giving out meds, as reg. M.D.'s are .... but at this moment, we don't...in fact, that's another big anxiety trigger right now....m;y husband was laid off from his job 3 mos. ago, and is looking for work ~ but it's hard! Now, you'd think that since my dr. knows this, that he'd realize how much I do need the xanax, and that NOW would not be the best time to start TRYING to wean me off them,,,but no! so, I am not only angry, but terribly anxious! I am in the process of looking around for another M.D...someone, who will understand. I've tried the self help approach, I've read Claire Weeks books (which were very good!), I drink relaxing teas, and take calcium to relax...in other words, over all these years, I've tried many diff. things, I'm not new to this!
Now, on June 28th, something really far out happened. It was 6 A.M. and I was coming out of a deep sleep, which already was weird, because my sleep stinks!!!!! ~ however, on that particular night, I went into some weirdo kind of deep sleep, well, at 6 A.M. i started waking up ~ as I opened my eyes, I felt kind of strange in my head, but then, as I began to TRY to sit up in bed... OH BOY, SEVERE LIGHTHEADEDNESS, OFF BALANCE, SWAYING, LISTING, you name it!!!! It was as if it must have been going on in my sleep! (which scares the daylights out of me!)
I VERY VERY VERY SLOWLY sat up on the edge of the bed, thank God the room itself wasn't spinning, I didn't have that, but the rest was incredibly bad! Okay, so I sat on the edge of my bed,shaking with fear, and everything was off balance and swaying. I could hear my husband in the living room, so I VERY VERY SLOWLY started to get up, but wow, that was not to good! I grabbed the dresser, and held on! I was able to make it to the doorway, and call him. He came over immed. and I grabbed his shirt collar tightly and kept saying "there's something wrong, there's something wrong with my head" ... now, at this point, I was just staring past him. (something I've had before actually, and my dr./s have always said it was anxiety) .... he stood there, and just talked to me, and held me, that's all we could do. As I stood there for those few minutes, it was as if the room around me became "copper" colored, but we do have dark paneling on the walls ~ I also felt it was strange to move my eyes to the left, as if something was behind my left eye, like pressure, which made it hard for the eye to move to the left, I could move both eyes to the right just fine. I also noticed that when I'd move them, there'd be this sort of "trail" of light behind the eye movement. By now, I was in a full blown panic attack, as you can well imagine!
After standing there with him for about 10 min.s I began to try to make my way very slowly to the bathroom, with his help. The swaying and off balance thing was very bad. I somehow managed to actually go to the bathroom, while swaying and off balance was happening, geez! He helped me walk back to the couch, where I sat next to him for HOURS, swaying and off balance .... if I moved my head in any direction, POW!!!!
I immed. took two xanax and a benadryl, because i've found that that is usually the magic duo that helps me, when I have crazy head symptoms, whetehr from anxiety and panic, or sinuses (which I have plenty of!) .. yes I should mention here, I am the SINUS QUEEN, lol ... i have had bad sinus issues since I was in my 20's ..... it does cause off balance and lightheadedness too, and being in perimenopause doesn't help, because those are two of one of the top symptoms of peri! so, it wasnt that I'm not used to that, it was that THAT morning was SO INCREDIBLY bad, I mean, those off balance and swaying feelings were worse than I have EVER had it! Plus, I had that staring thing, which also eventually wore off.
So, within about 20 minutes, the xanax and benadryl kicked in full swing, and I became a lot more relaxed and such, thank God~ but, the off balance was still there ....... the swaying thing was beginning to lessen little by little........ I felt somewhat queasy, not much. But holy cow!!!!!
I sat there for HOURS with him, and just sort of stared, ..... we did talk, and watched some movies .... I finally got tired enough, and fell asleep on his shoulder. I slept there for about 2 hr.s or so......when I woke up, I was still so darn afraid, afraid that it was going to happen again! From all my years with anxiety and panic, I've had some BAD episodes, but this was NUTS! So, later that day, I called my dr. and left a msg. since by now, he was gone. He got back to me the next day, and said it sounded to him, like an inner ear infection, combined with bad anxiety. Now, of course by now, I was thinking all the worst stuff possible.....oh, like brain cancer, brain tumor....you know the drill. But, he assured me, that wasn't the case. He had previously given me antibiotics (about 2 mos. ago) for a tooth absess on the top left gum area, and told me he'd call in another RX and to take that. But, I took them for the designated time period, and STILL to this day, I have to be so careful when getting up, darnnit! Okay, when I wake up, I have to slowly "come to", then, I just lie there, and very slowly get my bearings ~ then, I VERY SLOWLY get up, but only a little at a time, I sit up and lean on my arm and rest my head on my hand (as if you're watching t.v. on your side) .. I do that for a few minutes ..... THEN, I VERY SLOWLY throw my legs over the side of the bed, and sit there....I pick a certain object to look at, and just stare at it, because it helps if I don't let my eyes move all over the place.....or I'll pay for it the rest of the day with that off balance swaying thing.
FINALLY, I slowly get up .... I stand there, and feel off balance and lightheaded, but I breathe, and just tell myself it's ok, and very slowly begin to walk into the living room ...... now, this has gone on every morning since June 28th! I do notice that if I take a xanax right away, it helps, so my dr. thinks it's anxiety related . (and if I take the "magic combo" of xanax and benadryl, it REALLY helps) ...... now, I wanted to take some kind of MRI to prove to myself it wasn't a brain tumor, but my dr. says it's a waste bec. it's not a tumor, he said I'd have other symptoms.
He also reminds me that during perimenopause, so much of what i experienced that morning is quite common, and I know that, I do belong to a wonderful perimenopausal site and have learned so much! I am also an AVID reader, I read and consume everything..lol....so, I know how this goes.
BUT, having said all of this...... I am still lightheaded, SLIGHTLY off balance, (comes and goes during the day), a feeling of being detached and realization (very familiar with those!!!!), ..... does anyone here deal with anything like this?
I know this was a long long post, and I'm sorry, I just wanted to adequately describe this stupid situation. ... I am in "normal" health, for a woman of 53, with three grown sons, ... nothing out of the ordinary...I don't have any conditions or diseases, and my BP is usually "normal" ... but then again, your BP changes all day long ..... I don't take any other meds, except for xanax. (oh, and benadryl). WEll, and the antibiotics, but that is over now ..... I know anxiety can cause SO MUCH, and I've become so familiar,..TO familiar, with all of it over the years, things you'd never even think were anxiety, are! If there is anyone here who can relate to any of this, please post, I sure would appreciate it!
Thanks everyone!:)
I am new here, but I wanted to post this, so I could start hearing peoples opinions on this situation .....
I've had anxiety problems since I was preg. with my first child when I was 20, we now have 3 grown sons ~ I've suffered with anxiety through the years, on and off ~ I am 53 and in "normal" health, well, except for the fact that I am in the full throws of perimenopause, which is so much fun!:weep:
The anxiety through the years, would come and go ~ but I was never really completely rid of it. I never took anything for it, until 2006, when I began to take xanax, which thank God, really does help! I take it only when I need it, but lately, well, things haven't been to good for us financially here, and so, I end up taking 2 a day, they are half a mg. each . Now to add even MORE stress and anxiety, my M.D. is on this "get off drugs" kick, so now he wants to wean me off xanax....now, I totally understand what he's getting at ... I am no drug addict, thank you, but, I have tried before to do this myself, to sort of "wean" myself off them, and not take them even if I needed it, even if the anxiety was bad because I didn't want to become dependant on them, but it never works. In the end, I HAVE to take one, and boy, what a difference. Well, long story short, he is talking about lessening the dose, and then eventually getting me off them .... now, this is causing GREAT ANXIETY for me! Naturally, it would. This is the only thing that works! I deal with IBS as well, and when the IBS starts, oh boy, the only thing that'll stop those intestinal spasms, is xanax!
If we had the money, I'd go to a psych, because I know they are not as bad when it comes to giving out meds, as reg. M.D.'s are .... but at this moment, we don't...in fact, that's another big anxiety trigger right now....m;y husband was laid off from his job 3 mos. ago, and is looking for work ~ but it's hard! Now, you'd think that since my dr. knows this, that he'd realize how much I do need the xanax, and that NOW would not be the best time to start TRYING to wean me off them,,,but no! so, I am not only angry, but terribly anxious! I am in the process of looking around for another M.D...someone, who will understand. I've tried the self help approach, I've read Claire Weeks books (which were very good!), I drink relaxing teas, and take calcium to relax...in other words, over all these years, I've tried many diff. things, I'm not new to this!
Now, on June 28th, something really far out happened. It was 6 A.M. and I was coming out of a deep sleep, which already was weird, because my sleep stinks!!!!! ~ however, on that particular night, I went into some weirdo kind of deep sleep, well, at 6 A.M. i started waking up ~ as I opened my eyes, I felt kind of strange in my head, but then, as I began to TRY to sit up in bed... OH BOY, SEVERE LIGHTHEADEDNESS, OFF BALANCE, SWAYING, LISTING, you name it!!!! It was as if it must have been going on in my sleep! (which scares the daylights out of me!)
I VERY VERY VERY SLOWLY sat up on the edge of the bed, thank God the room itself wasn't spinning, I didn't have that, but the rest was incredibly bad! Okay, so I sat on the edge of my bed,shaking with fear, and everything was off balance and swaying. I could hear my husband in the living room, so I VERY VERY SLOWLY started to get up, but wow, that was not to good! I grabbed the dresser, and held on! I was able to make it to the doorway, and call him. He came over immed. and I grabbed his shirt collar tightly and kept saying "there's something wrong, there's something wrong with my head" ... now, at this point, I was just staring past him. (something I've had before actually, and my dr./s have always said it was anxiety) .... he stood there, and just talked to me, and held me, that's all we could do. As I stood there for those few minutes, it was as if the room around me became "copper" colored, but we do have dark paneling on the walls ~ I also felt it was strange to move my eyes to the left, as if something was behind my left eye, like pressure, which made it hard for the eye to move to the left, I could move both eyes to the right just fine. I also noticed that when I'd move them, there'd be this sort of "trail" of light behind the eye movement. By now, I was in a full blown panic attack, as you can well imagine!
After standing there with him for about 10 min.s I began to try to make my way very slowly to the bathroom, with his help. The swaying and off balance thing was very bad. I somehow managed to actually go to the bathroom, while swaying and off balance was happening, geez! He helped me walk back to the couch, where I sat next to him for HOURS, swaying and off balance .... if I moved my head in any direction, POW!!!!
I immed. took two xanax and a benadryl, because i've found that that is usually the magic duo that helps me, when I have crazy head symptoms, whetehr from anxiety and panic, or sinuses (which I have plenty of!) .. yes I should mention here, I am the SINUS QUEEN, lol ... i have had bad sinus issues since I was in my 20's ..... it does cause off balance and lightheadedness too, and being in perimenopause doesn't help, because those are two of one of the top symptoms of peri! so, it wasnt that I'm not used to that, it was that THAT morning was SO INCREDIBLY bad, I mean, those off balance and swaying feelings were worse than I have EVER had it! Plus, I had that staring thing, which also eventually wore off.
So, within about 20 minutes, the xanax and benadryl kicked in full swing, and I became a lot more relaxed and such, thank God~ but, the off balance was still there ....... the swaying thing was beginning to lessen little by little........ I felt somewhat queasy, not much. But holy cow!!!!!
I sat there for HOURS with him, and just sort of stared, ..... we did talk, and watched some movies .... I finally got tired enough, and fell asleep on his shoulder. I slept there for about 2 hr.s or so......when I woke up, I was still so darn afraid, afraid that it was going to happen again! From all my years with anxiety and panic, I've had some BAD episodes, but this was NUTS! So, later that day, I called my dr. and left a msg. since by now, he was gone. He got back to me the next day, and said it sounded to him, like an inner ear infection, combined with bad anxiety. Now, of course by now, I was thinking all the worst stuff possible.....oh, like brain cancer, brain tumor....you know the drill. But, he assured me, that wasn't the case. He had previously given me antibiotics (about 2 mos. ago) for a tooth absess on the top left gum area, and told me he'd call in another RX and to take that. But, I took them for the designated time period, and STILL to this day, I have to be so careful when getting up, darnnit! Okay, when I wake up, I have to slowly "come to", then, I just lie there, and very slowly get my bearings ~ then, I VERY SLOWLY get up, but only a little at a time, I sit up and lean on my arm and rest my head on my hand (as if you're watching t.v. on your side) .. I do that for a few minutes ..... THEN, I VERY SLOWLY throw my legs over the side of the bed, and sit there....I pick a certain object to look at, and just stare at it, because it helps if I don't let my eyes move all over the place.....or I'll pay for it the rest of the day with that off balance swaying thing.
FINALLY, I slowly get up .... I stand there, and feel off balance and lightheaded, but I breathe, and just tell myself it's ok, and very slowly begin to walk into the living room ...... now, this has gone on every morning since June 28th! I do notice that if I take a xanax right away, it helps, so my dr. thinks it's anxiety related . (and if I take the "magic combo" of xanax and benadryl, it REALLY helps) ...... now, I wanted to take some kind of MRI to prove to myself it wasn't a brain tumor, but my dr. says it's a waste bec. it's not a tumor, he said I'd have other symptoms.
He also reminds me that during perimenopause, so much of what i experienced that morning is quite common, and I know that, I do belong to a wonderful perimenopausal site and have learned so much! I am also an AVID reader, I read and consume everything..lol....so, I know how this goes.
BUT, having said all of this...... I am still lightheaded, SLIGHTLY off balance, (comes and goes during the day), a feeling of being detached and realization (very familiar with those!!!!), ..... does anyone here deal with anything like this?
I know this was a long long post, and I'm sorry, I just wanted to adequately describe this stupid situation. ... I am in "normal" health, for a woman of 53, with three grown sons, ... nothing out of the ordinary...I don't have any conditions or diseases, and my BP is usually "normal" ... but then again, your BP changes all day long ..... I don't take any other meds, except for xanax. (oh, and benadryl). WEll, and the antibiotics, but that is over now ..... I know anxiety can cause SO MUCH, and I've become so familiar,..TO familiar, with all of it over the years, things you'd never even think were anxiety, are! If there is anyone here who can relate to any of this, please post, I sure would appreciate it!
Thanks everyone!:)