alway frightened
08-08-11, 20:20
Hello everyone. Its my first time here and first time joining a forum. I do not have to tell you that I have anxiety depression as I would not be here if I am not. I just feel so hopeless and frustrated now I think I need to find someone who can help.
My disorder started when I was 18. I am now in my early forties. It all started when I read a medical book on diseases and soon I started to think about the symptoms I read in the book and connect them to what I feel. That was my introduction to anxiety and it lasted for maybe a month or two. It went away for several years,coming back for a few months and then going away totally again. I already forgot when my anxiety depression started to become a regular part of my mind but it went on until today.
I always have constant thoughts of dying. Sometimes I would attribute it to heart attack. Sometimes I would think of a situation or an event in the future and I would automatically think that it would be the end of me. It got so awful that I would really panic. I have been on medication twice but that was years ago. What I am doing now when I think I can no longer stand it is to ask my wife to stroll outside. Walking and seeing people and things seems to take my mind off my panic and calm me.
Now I am really freaking out again. I will be celebrating my birthday in a few days and I have this morbid thought that something will happen to me on that day or the next. As my birthday approaches the more panicky I become. What could it be? Sometimes I feel like something will really happen and what I am feeling is premonition. Is there a truth in this?
Anybody here who could advise me and explain things to me? Am really getting desperate. Thank you
My disorder started when I was 18. I am now in my early forties. It all started when I read a medical book on diseases and soon I started to think about the symptoms I read in the book and connect them to what I feel. That was my introduction to anxiety and it lasted for maybe a month or two. It went away for several years,coming back for a few months and then going away totally again. I already forgot when my anxiety depression started to become a regular part of my mind but it went on until today.
I always have constant thoughts of dying. Sometimes I would attribute it to heart attack. Sometimes I would think of a situation or an event in the future and I would automatically think that it would be the end of me. It got so awful that I would really panic. I have been on medication twice but that was years ago. What I am doing now when I think I can no longer stand it is to ask my wife to stroll outside. Walking and seeing people and things seems to take my mind off my panic and calm me.
Now I am really freaking out again. I will be celebrating my birthday in a few days and I have this morbid thought that something will happen to me on that day or the next. As my birthday approaches the more panicky I become. What could it be? Sometimes I feel like something will really happen and what I am feeling is premonition. Is there a truth in this?
Anybody here who could advise me and explain things to me? Am really getting desperate. Thank you