holly23
09-08-11, 04:06
hi everyone.. i hope what im about to say will give you hope if you are like i was and suffering everyday with anxiety..
its taken me a very long time to come on here but i know for myself i had to.. i didnt even say the word 'anxiety' ..or 'panic' and never wanted to come on here for fear of bringing it all back however.....
i have now been feeling happy since september... of course it was gradual and there were moments but life began turning around then. when i went back to uni. last year i was posting here everyday. i couldnt sleep, go out, sing,(and as a performer that was not good) i wasnt myself at all had no personality, didnt know where i was going or doing, panic all the time!! thought i was dying all the time. the world was ending. in and out of doctors. over thinking everything! it was making me ill and so tired! but for anyone out there who can not see a silver lining or any good in the future i can tell you..i dont know how but it does get better. the only person who can fix you is you!. i began facing anything that scared me...i still do. if i think ..."i dont wanna do that..what if" i make myself do it. i slowly started having fun. i even coped with my boyfriend was cheating on me, and my brother in law cheated on my sister and i got told there was risk of me having cancer in a few years(all ok now) but i got through everything. i stuck out uni.have done 2 shows as a featured soloist! :) and am going back for a third year. i go out all the time very social now! im moving out of parents home this year.! im single again and stronger. i think that being with the wrong person who brought back memories of my drug days by doing them still was not helping.!what a ****..i know he contributed highly to what i went through... :-/ im rambling i know but im so excited to be finally saying this. i still feel anxious sometimes..(god..lol..first time ive let myself risk saying that) but i am learning how to cope. i know how to help myself and i tell myself.."ah well, it always goes.." and that helps. i encourage anyone who is feeling really bad to tell themselves..it gets better! .you can get through it... i thought months ago i was going mad..i still think that sometimes..lol..but panic doesnt have to run your life.have the thoughts but let them go! ...im not sure if any of this helps anyone like i was, but it has helped me to talk about what i went through at last.
keep smiling if you can and grab on to the good moments when they come. ive realized, going through something like this ...i appreciate the good times so much more!
thanks for listening. x
"face the possible and take charge of it" ..(saying i came up with last year while at my worst. )
:winks:
its taken me a very long time to come on here but i know for myself i had to.. i didnt even say the word 'anxiety' ..or 'panic' and never wanted to come on here for fear of bringing it all back however.....
i have now been feeling happy since september... of course it was gradual and there were moments but life began turning around then. when i went back to uni. last year i was posting here everyday. i couldnt sleep, go out, sing,(and as a performer that was not good) i wasnt myself at all had no personality, didnt know where i was going or doing, panic all the time!! thought i was dying all the time. the world was ending. in and out of doctors. over thinking everything! it was making me ill and so tired! but for anyone out there who can not see a silver lining or any good in the future i can tell you..i dont know how but it does get better. the only person who can fix you is you!. i began facing anything that scared me...i still do. if i think ..."i dont wanna do that..what if" i make myself do it. i slowly started having fun. i even coped with my boyfriend was cheating on me, and my brother in law cheated on my sister and i got told there was risk of me having cancer in a few years(all ok now) but i got through everything. i stuck out uni.have done 2 shows as a featured soloist! :) and am going back for a third year. i go out all the time very social now! im moving out of parents home this year.! im single again and stronger. i think that being with the wrong person who brought back memories of my drug days by doing them still was not helping.!what a ****..i know he contributed highly to what i went through... :-/ im rambling i know but im so excited to be finally saying this. i still feel anxious sometimes..(god..lol..first time ive let myself risk saying that) but i am learning how to cope. i know how to help myself and i tell myself.."ah well, it always goes.." and that helps. i encourage anyone who is feeling really bad to tell themselves..it gets better! .you can get through it... i thought months ago i was going mad..i still think that sometimes..lol..but panic doesnt have to run your life.have the thoughts but let them go! ...im not sure if any of this helps anyone like i was, but it has helped me to talk about what i went through at last.
keep smiling if you can and grab on to the good moments when they come. ive realized, going through something like this ...i appreciate the good times so much more!
thanks for listening. x
"face the possible and take charge of it" ..(saying i came up with last year while at my worst. )
:winks: