How to deal with uncertainty?

[skygreen_leopard]

I have been having a real tough time with HA lately, i manage to convince myself that i have major problems daily now and spiral into massive panic attacks / lose sleep about them.

One of the main things i really have a hard time dealing with is the idea that i might get ill in the future but of something of which there is no prevention or real warning signs of e.g. MS, MND.

I really dont know how to live anymore with the idea of getting a horrible illness just around the corner, i have on many occasions considered suicide as atleast i would be dying on my own terms.I honestly think this is mostly brought on by my dad having cancer, its one of those things that you think will never happen to you or a family member and when it does its devastating.

Anyways i reiterate, how do you live knowing that there is a possibility of a horrible death around the corner?. Does anyone have any coping strategies / ideas they could share?.

[debs71]

Hi,

I think the key word in this is might.

I have had what I would call mild HA periodically and IMO it is really quite fruitless to worry about what might happen as just as anything MIGHT happen, there is a high probability that it might not! My GP found a lump in my breast last year and referred me urgently to the breast clinic. They were the longest 2 weeks of my life as I was scared that I may have a malignancy, but in the end it was a cyst and one of many, so right there I had wasted precious time fretting.


Everyone of us walking the planet is at risk of developing a serious illness, but to sit and dwell on that means that the one thing we are afraid of losing (our life) is slipping away whilst we waste time worrying about what might happen to us.

That is the sad irony I suppose.

My advice would be to never, ever think about the future. All we can do is take each day as it comes as worrying about what might be is pointless. What can we change even if we do? Whatever is going to happen will happen. Clearly there are things we can do healthwise to maintain our well being and reduce the chances ( the usual stuff like avoiding things that can cause those illnesses we fear which can be prevented) but apart from that it is out of our hands hun.

There is so much more to focus on that is tangible and worth worrying about, but what MIGHT happen is not one of them. Please try to tell youself this every day and just live each day to the most.

I know it sounds so simple but is hard to do with HA, but just be bloody minded.

Don't allow HA to have a grip on you.

xxxxxxx:hugs::hugs:

[countrygirl]

My HA stared as a young child (5) after being traumatised by illness and death (long story!) and I am now 50 and it has dominated my life. I have tried every therapy going and although I understand everything about it and why I have it my last therapist actually wrote to my Dr saying that my trauma had been so great as a child nothing could change how I thought , including hypnotherapy.

My thinking has changed though as I now am older - I think why ruin your life worrying about something that might NOT happen, better to really enjoy whatever life we have, I have wasted nearly all my life worrying about the what ifs, I can remember every holiday and family event not by the event itself but by what medical problem I was in a panic over at that time. Take it from a long time sufferer of HA it just isn't worth it - we will all die FACT, we could be run over by a bus tomorrow so why waste today worrying about what might ail us in 5 yrs time etc etc.

This thinking has helped me stop the what ifs but it has not stopped me getting into a panic about symptoms:)

I don't know if this will help you as when I was younger I could not think like I do now so maybe age has helped me.

[skygreen_leopard]

Thanks for the perspective both. I am a person who always looks at the negative rather than the positive e.g. 1% chance of getting something always makes me think i will rather than thinking 99% i wont.

I have started CBT today so hopefully i can start to work this negative thinking out of my system.

[M155anthr0p3]

Hi skygreen leopard,

I really sympathize with your post - it's like I wrote it.

I've been suffering with HA for 10 Years (since I was 16) & it never gets any easier. The what if's...the whens..it's just awful. Illness & death make mine worse naturally.
The way I cope is by telling myself that if it's going to happen then there's nothing I can do about it anyway. It''s out of my control so why waste another 10 years of my life on it...
Plus, I will not let it win.
Mind over matter, stay strong.

Emily xxx

[skygreen_leopard]

Thanks Emily. I am sure i will get over it or manage better, i have had OCD for about well..forever really but its been bad for the last 6 or 7 years and its pretty much identical to that except the theme has changed to my health rather than sexuality or contamination etc.

Even though theres a chance i could get horribly i'll i have to accept the fact that i cant do anything about that and being in fear is no way to live anyway.

[skygreen_leopard]

Ugh, i have shingles atm and now my hands are really quite numb. Its hard to explain, they feel sort of achey and have been tingling on and off...really fuels the ALS worries.

[countrygirl]

Are you in a panic over the shingles??? Or has the Dr prescirbed an anti viral medication for you as these can have weird side effects.

Shingles is a horrible condition and can be so painful so you will be feeling not very well which together with the worry could give you all sorts of strange sensations.
There is a huge difference between a feeling of numbness and actual numbness and loss of function. A friends wife had mnd and she had def lack of function eg she kept suddenly falling over or choking on food and could not lift her arms and it all happened over a short space of time so that the Dr knew something very serious was happening.

[skygreen_leopard]

The doc said i was too far into shingles for the anti viral treatment, so its been pretty bad with neuralgia and stuff and all the lymph nodes on my neck are swollen which freaked me out too. My hands feel weird, sort of like the blood has gone from them rather than numbness (if that makes any sense).

Just started back on Citalopram yesterday after almost a year of not taking it and read the side effects of that is tingling hands but this had been going on for a few days before then. So, just freaked out really :blush:

[M155anthr0p3]

You need to wait for the cit to kick in.
Remember that when we panic it can take a while for our rational thoughts to catch up. You feel so rotten because you're ill, with shingles, and that's going to take it's toll on your body but it doesn't stop us panicking I know.
Try to look at things logically, it's hard but you can do it.

Xxx

[M155anthr0p3]

You need to wait for the cit to kick in.
Remember that when we panic it can take a while for our rational thoughts to catch up. You feel so rotten because you're ill, with shingles, and that's going to take it's toll on your body but it doesn't stop us panicking I know.
Try to look at things logically, it's hard but you can do it.

Xxx

[skygreen_leopard]

Okay, just found this quote:



Q: I have tingling and numbness in my hands, feet and limbs, is this a symptom of MND?

A: Tingling and numbness are associated with some neurological conditions, but MND is not one of these. If this symptom is a constant problem see your GP who may refer you to a neurologist if he/she feels you may have a problem.

Sort of puts things in perspective, no more googling for today. :)