Summer Holiday - Anxious or just miserable?

[CB3007]

Hi all. My first thread so apologies if I ramble on.

I will be leaving for my holiday tomorrow evening and well, I'm actually dreading it. The feeling I compare it to is when you were a kid and you did something wrong but your parents knew all about it. Remember how you felt when you had to confront them (perhaps after they called for you to come over immediately)? That feeling of dread and knowledge that this isn't going to be pretty.

That feeling of dread is "OK", I mean, I'm used to it after 16/17 years. However, what's bugging me nowadays is why I feel this dread? Is it purely because I'm anxious (which I am, I've never found it easy to make friends with the other stranger kids while I'm there but my family don't aid my enjoyment either, long story) or is it because I'm simply miserable? Everyone else, even a lot of anxious people seem to enjoy holidays because they can relax or whatever. Why am I the oddity in even the group of "odd" people?

I don't know what replies to ask for/I will receive to this question but hopefully I'll get a few decent ones before Friday night. Any tips on how to make the best of a holiday (perhaps techniques you've used in making easier to talk with new people) would be welcomed too. Thanks.

[paula lynne]

Hi welcome to the forum :)
I think its dread/anxiety.....and why should you be feeling this way? To put it simply, its because you are good at it.
Im a recovering agoraphobic, just back from a camping holiday. I had the exact same feelings before I left. A holiday should be a pleasurable experience......thats what I tell myself, however, the way my brain is wired after 12 years of panic and anxiety, well, the feelings just flooded back.

Its a stressful time actually, you know you are "supposed" to enjoy it, be happy, fun to be around, but when a person has anxiety, its a big challenge :wacko: How far are you travelling and how are you getting there?

I dont know your history obviously, so Im guessing there are elements of panic and anxiety at play here? Anyway, I hope you throw caution to the wind and have a great (if a little bit stressy) time.....roll with it. I use my paperbag to re-breathe, listen to calming music, snap an elastic band on my wrist, and remind myself Im ok and these are sensations and not some symtoms of a deadly disease. Take a good book, get some fresh air in your lungs and sun on your skin, and accept yourself and your feelings.
You are unique, not strange or an oddity in any way. Laugh at your body when it wont co-operate, and be easy on yourself if things dont go to plan. Pat yourself on the back when you have a good day.

Best wishes, hope you have a great time! :welcome:
Paula x

[debs71]

You are not alone in this and many of us share your anxiety at times of imminent travel, myself included. You are in no way odd hun.

I have had to cancel holidays before because I was so anxious and then got angry with myself for doing so. It can be truly tortuous when you know in your head that a holiday should be something to look forward to and enjoy, but your mind is screaming 'ANXIETY' at you!

My thoughts about this is that it starts as an anticipatory thing - like you had as a child when you had things to look forward to coming up, with the butterflies in the stomach and the excitement, and the adrenaline - but instead of it being like that, it becomes something daunting and scary with anxiety.

My advice would be not to even think about what may or may not happen while you travel or whilst away. Play things by ear, as it is the unknowns that make us so scared, and it is not a given that you will not cope whilst there. Remind yourself of that even if your mind is screaming at you that you can't cope.

Second thing is distraction, especially if you are are on a plane journey. I still suffer terrible nerves before I fly, not because I am scared, but because I had a panic attack last year whilst flying and still remember that, so I now have a 'help kit' to get me through which consists of my IPOD with some calming tunes on, my portable DVD player so I can watch a film to take my mind off stuff, a bottle of water, and some suckable sweets as I find that they help distract me from that rising anxiety feeling.

Also, bear in mind that nobody will have any expectations of how you should or shouldn't be when you are away. You just be yourself, that is enough, and you will be just fine. Don't worry about fitting in with others kids, just do what makes you comfortable as that is what hols should be about. I guarantee that most other people there will be so busy getting on with their own hols anyway!

Positivity is key here love. Tell yourself 'you CAN do this', and you will, I promise!!

As Paula said, even if you don't, pass it off as a blip, nothing more.

Have a great time.xxx:shades: