jan777
12-08-11, 02:43
Hi everyone,
I don't feel so alone after reading other peoples experiences and problems on here ! I thought i was the only person not being able to stop being frightened if that makes any sense?
Im a 43yr old woman with a 16 yr old daughter.
I have a privelliged life in the respect that i have no major financial worries,have a lovely Mum and Dad,Mum has Alzheimers and vascular dementia and Dad isn't very well but thats been ongoing and i can easily care for them.I have a patient ,supportive boyfriend and lots of lovely friends.
All my life i have been confident in everything i do but inside i have always felt panicky over anything and everything but been able to bite the bullet and get things done until the last 12 months.
Last year i had a major meltdown over a few moths which had been living in some plaster board on top of my kitchen cupboards .Moths have never bothered me before, but i found a few baby moths and convinced mysel they were breeding all over my house, i threw out my entire kitchen,all the food,cutlery,pans etc.I had everything in sealed plastic bags and was terrified to touch anything incase there was a crawly insect or moth on it.Long story short after 3 wks of madness and waking up every 20 minuites for a boiling hot shower thinking i had things in my hair etc i have managed to keep a lid on it just about until the last few wks.. I found a lump in my breast and had to go 4 tests which i was ok about until i got half way to the hospital..I started vomiting was dizzy,blurred vision,etc.My boyfriend virtually dragged me in.For 2 hours i vomited over 20 times,fainted twice and had 2 nurses constantly in the room with me as my blood pressure was so low and i couldnt breathe.The consultant told me to see my GP for medication to calm me down as i needed more tests and had to go back for a deeper biopsi.I had another major meltdown in my GPs when i went for the medication,couldnt breathe,crying,dizzy etc,She gave me 3 x 10mg chlordiazepoxide and referred me to a councillor but told me to stay home untill i got the apointment to the councillor.I took 2 tabs before i went to the breast clinic and had to take another whilst i was there i had the 30mg in 3hrs and i had a ilttle wobble but handled the situation mainly due to the fantastic nurses who looked after me and were expecting me to meltdown like i had last week so they were prepared and had everythin ready to get the tests done . The 30mg of chlordiazepoxide made me feel "normal",not spaced out or high just normal..No feeling of dred no fist in my chest feeling and i could breathe easily..I haven't felt that peace since i was a child.
Could anyone please tell me if there is any way i can ever feel like that again without taking medication like that ?
Any advice would be sincerley appreciated as it looks like i may have a long road ahead with treatment from the breast clinic ?
Many ,many thanks
Jan x
I don't feel so alone after reading other peoples experiences and problems on here ! I thought i was the only person not being able to stop being frightened if that makes any sense?
Im a 43yr old woman with a 16 yr old daughter.
I have a privelliged life in the respect that i have no major financial worries,have a lovely Mum and Dad,Mum has Alzheimers and vascular dementia and Dad isn't very well but thats been ongoing and i can easily care for them.I have a patient ,supportive boyfriend and lots of lovely friends.
All my life i have been confident in everything i do but inside i have always felt panicky over anything and everything but been able to bite the bullet and get things done until the last 12 months.
Last year i had a major meltdown over a few moths which had been living in some plaster board on top of my kitchen cupboards .Moths have never bothered me before, but i found a few baby moths and convinced mysel they were breeding all over my house, i threw out my entire kitchen,all the food,cutlery,pans etc.I had everything in sealed plastic bags and was terrified to touch anything incase there was a crawly insect or moth on it.Long story short after 3 wks of madness and waking up every 20 minuites for a boiling hot shower thinking i had things in my hair etc i have managed to keep a lid on it just about until the last few wks.. I found a lump in my breast and had to go 4 tests which i was ok about until i got half way to the hospital..I started vomiting was dizzy,blurred vision,etc.My boyfriend virtually dragged me in.For 2 hours i vomited over 20 times,fainted twice and had 2 nurses constantly in the room with me as my blood pressure was so low and i couldnt breathe.The consultant told me to see my GP for medication to calm me down as i needed more tests and had to go back for a deeper biopsi.I had another major meltdown in my GPs when i went for the medication,couldnt breathe,crying,dizzy etc,She gave me 3 x 10mg chlordiazepoxide and referred me to a councillor but told me to stay home untill i got the apointment to the councillor.I took 2 tabs before i went to the breast clinic and had to take another whilst i was there i had the 30mg in 3hrs and i had a ilttle wobble but handled the situation mainly due to the fantastic nurses who looked after me and were expecting me to meltdown like i had last week so they were prepared and had everythin ready to get the tests done . The 30mg of chlordiazepoxide made me feel "normal",not spaced out or high just normal..No feeling of dred no fist in my chest feeling and i could breathe easily..I haven't felt that peace since i was a child.
Could anyone please tell me if there is any way i can ever feel like that again without taking medication like that ?
Any advice would be sincerley appreciated as it looks like i may have a long road ahead with treatment from the breast clinic ?
Many ,many thanks
Jan x