Recovery really can be a roller coaster !!!

[ollie35]

Just thought I would post a message to everyone that feels like they are on a roller coaster, good one week bad the next. It is a post for those mainly that feel they are moving forward but tend to hit a bad day or period when they think they are back to square one again.

I also went through this myself but in time learned to accept the day whatever it brought, again here is something I once wrote on the subject.

Really hope some of you get something out of this post.

Take care

Paul

Recovery can be a roller coaster

I always feel it important to let people know that when they are on the road to recovery, it can be a bit of an up and down affair. Sometimes I would think that I had taken one step forward only to take two steps backward. Here are some off the mistakes I made, so hopefully you can avoid them. Some you may come across in recovery, some you may not, but I have included them just in case you do.

I felt so good yesterday, why do I feel so bad today?

It's often said that recovery means taking two steps forward and one step back, which is basically the way the body recovers. It takes a little patience to allow for this adjustment, but is well worth it.

This is why it is imperative to accept how you feel at any given time. Full acceptance will enable you to sail through any day and any period of time.
Eventually you will awaken and a day is just a day, with few ups and downs. It will happen once you take that step back and allow your body to find its own sense of balance.

It’s funny, isn’t it, how I was always able to accept the good days and not question them, but as soon as I had a bad day, I was back to square one, repeating those old mistakes and believing that there must be something wrong!

I also learnt that when I had a good day I expected the following day to be the same, almost putting pressure on myself to make sure it would be. I was constantly watching myself, trying to hold on to how I felt, worrying that if I let go, the good feelings would be gone forever, Well they won’t. Good days come and bad days come, and you need to accept this. Don’t waste time trying to work out why, like I did. Don’t think you are back to square one and start with all the self-pity again. Don’t hold back on your goal of achieving recovery by not accepting how you feel at any particular time. It is not important how you feel at any given time just learn to move on and not try to work any of it out, the next good day will just be around the corner.

[trac67]

Hi Paul,

That says it all really and I think it will help a lot of people who do wonder why they have good and bad days.

Take care
Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[trevor]

hey paul,,

thanks for your post you are an inspiration to me,,

i loved this one too,,

thanks paul

trevor,:D

better to fight for something than to live for nothing

[giddy]

Thanks for the post Paul - everything you say makes so much sense.
Love Helen

[Coni]

Hi Paul,

I'd just like to say I found your post really helpful...I am guilty of thinking when I feel good, that I'm better and that times when I feel rotten are as you say back to square one. So acceptance is what I'll strive for.

thanks again

Coni X

[ollie35]

Thanks for feedback,

This advice is what really took me to recovery, I always felt so close but could not seem to get over the final hurdle. Why? Because I always let setbacks throw me into deep despair, all the "Oh god this will never go away", "Why oh why did I feel so much better last week and now this", on and on until I had talked myself into feeling bad again. When and only when was I able to accept setbacks was I able to move forward I would say " There it goes again a setback, great I can practice accepting them and going through them" I actually got to the point where I welcomed them so I could just let them go, they did come less and less and with practice also began to mean less and less and not throw me as much.

Again just breaking a habit, accepting setbacks instead of letting them beat us down so we think we have made no progress, attempting to pull us back under.

No matter what stage you feel you are at and what progress you have made, just accept setbacks, buggers that they are and just think next week could be the best week yet.

Take care

Paul

[Jenny]

I have had a good two weeks. Felt much better in myself. Actually enjoyed going to different places, and felt good about it. I have also learned to say NO sometimes, which normally I find hard to say, but I honestly think it has given me more confidence in myself to do that.
I am trying not to dwell on things. If something is on my mind I used to keep it to myself. Now I try and talk about it with my husband or daughter.

A day at time.

Jenny xxx

[ollie35]

Way to go Jenny, I used to struggle for confidence and I had one saying that really built it back up.

Never say yes when you mean no, never say no when you mean yes.

You feel so good about yourself taking that option instead of the easy way out.

Take care

Paul

[Paddington]

hello Paul.After your lovely reply to my post,i have been searching 4 you!I have been readig your posts and they are inspitational!I am so happy thatyou have overcome your 'demons' and have come here to help us,thank you so much.i am still poorly[proper not anxiety symptoms!!]but t is lovely sitting here reading your words of wisdom,it is all so true!Ill,well,WHATEVER STATE I AM IN i am a yes person and it is futile and i feel cowardly,years of 'anything 4 a quiet life' has created just the opposite!!!I will work on the no word and the yes word too[yep guilty of that too,smiled when i read it Paul,we dont pick up on that one often do we?]Thanks again,glad i searched 4 you .love mary-rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[ollie35]

Thanks for your kind words Mary, they really do mean a lot.

Had a cold myself for the last few days felt[xx(].
But coming back to my oldself. I love posting on here as I think the whole community is fantastic and very supportive to each other.

Yes years of being a yes person can take there toll on our confidence, but when we start being ourself and saying what we think we feel so much better for it. Everyone of us is unique and everyone of us has a right to our own thoughts and beliefs and a right to express them, some people may not agree with us at times but at least we are being true to ourselves.

All the people we respect in life are the people who are just themselves, who don't put on an act to please others, the people who are comfortable with themselves.

So Mary you watch out for them yes and no's and just be true to yourself and you may find a new person emerge.

Take care

Paul

[W.I.F.T.S.]

Hi,

With me it's like not knowing whether to let go of what I know and where feels safe(!!!), my anxiety and depression to reach out for happiness in case I fall in between.

Generally, I feel like I am getting better. As well as a gruelling full time job I've also been volunteering as a social coordinator at a local health club. It's been great to meet new people, to have an opportunity to channel all my ideas and to have the excitement of not knowing what might happen next. I have had the thought a few times though that "the stress will make me more ill, I should back out", "I can't handle it, I should quit" or "this thing will grow into something i don't like, i should kill it now". I know that that is my fear talking and that I will only be happy when i face and overcome it. I see what I'm doing as a chance to meet loads of new people and make new friends, to boost my cv, to go to places and do things that i probably wouldn't do otherwise, to get fit and to feel a sense of achievement.

It is frustrating for me because I am doing some really good things, but physically my head doesn't feel right and i still feel a bit unreal. It is the final hurdle that you have been talking about.

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[ollie35]

Hi wish,

Coming out of our safety zone is the thing that takes us forward. Your doubts about feeling worse is just your worry cycle going again, distrust what your mind says and do it anyway.

I just kept moving forwart no matter how I felt, I did not wait for a good day, I just went and faced many of my fears no matter how I felt.
After what we have been through over the years we are bound to still feel strange and unreal, but we still need to try and take them chains of and keep moving forward, if we feel bad or strange then so be it, it will pass in time as long as we don't put too much importance on how we are feeling at any given time.

There is no need to gauge or to check in on how we are feeling, just try and get on with your day with your symptoms in the background, this is the key.

Take care
Paul