A little help with understanding and encouragement?

[LahOas]

Hey :), I was hoping for some help with understanding someone with anxiety.

My boyfriend has suffered with I.B.S for many years, but it has recently become worse.
He will be starting his second year at college in September and his first year has been quite a struggle as his I.B.S has caused him to have anxiety, which also has become worse. He seems to struggle when he's in a situation which could be embarrassing or difficult to get out of, like a dentist chair, or his lectures at college (which is understandable). He's been to the doctor numerous times but to what it seems no avail. They have prescribed peppermint capsules to help with the stomach cramps he gets which are linked to the I.B.S, as this is the start of a vicious cycle which causes him to worry he is going to have a bad bout of I.B.S while at college as his tummy is hurting, however they didn't seem to make much difference. He's also had quite a few other prescription tablets to stop stomach spasms, but these haven't helped either. He managed to get a counselor at college for a short while but he didn't seem hugely useful as sometimes he wouldn't turn up. As with college, he has made a huge amount of progress as at one point he was just calling in sick everyday because his I.B.S was so bad, however now he is doing a 3 day week which the college have agreed to, he still struggles a lot with it, but manages to get through and that makes me really proud. I was just wondering if there is anyone out there who can help me to understand how he feels a bit more, as I sometimes struggle to understand and sympathise with him as i was brought up in a very "get on with it" kind of way, however i understand it's a slow process getting through this kind of anxiety. I was also wondering if anyone could share their success stories with me as he would absolutely love to look forward to something, aspire to be as successful as someone and know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you in advance for any advise.
Olivia :).

[HypnosWisher]

Hi LahOas,

Me and my brother both suffer with IBS. It can be embarrassing to discuss or even bear thinking about. My brother is open about it with his work colleagues and friends alike and took the view that if people around felt comfortable that he was open about it and accepted it and were even to make fun of it sometimes made him feel much more re-assured. His way of dealing with it is that when confronted with situations with icky tummy or regular trips to bathroom is to joke about it. Me I don't have it as bad as my brother, but I tend to accept it as a condition that requires management on daily basis. I do have the odd embarrassing moment where my tummy turns into many sailot knots and can have the odd spell of gas, but it really is about the individual and how they feel about it. I hope he does find a way to feel accepted by himself and others :)

[LahOas]

Hey, thank you for your reply :)!
I cant begin to imagen what it is like for you and your brother to suffer with this.
He gains comfort knowing he isnt alone with his condition and isnt the only one who feels how he does. At the moment we're working on his confidence, little by little in hope it will help him when he goes back in september. The information on this site has really helped him and put him in a positive state of mind, and i so hope he can keep it up. He has immodium on prescription which he takes before he knows he's going to be in a awkward situation and he's beginning to trust that it does work and that its not going to let him down, which is helping too. The only problem is we're in a long distance relationship, so we only see each other in college holidays (he's staying with us at the moment, but goes back soon), and while he's here i manage to keep him calm and really reassure him in situations and to keep his head held high because it will be okay, and it isnt a problem, but once he's home he feels incredibly alone and seems to loose all faith and i find trying to keep him calm over text really quite difficult.
Again, thank you for your reply :).