lincolnkate
14-08-11, 15:24
Hello all, I supose i just wanted to let everyone know what i go through every day and see if anyone feels the same really!
Everyday i wake up with thoughts going through my head, will it be bad today? will i be able to go to the supermarket? will my son notice if we leave a shop before paying cos I cant handle the anxiety symptoms anymore? will i be sick? will i pass out? will i be stuck in a traffic jam and start getting my anxiety and I cant escape? will the next one be the worse one I have ever had as I dont think I can cope with this anymore? Will i start feeling depersonalised for no reason and sit and think I am going crazy??
Telling any "normal" human being these things - I feel they will laugh at me, but like my husband says, 'people are scared of balloons, buttons, you are just scared of the outside world'. but it just sounds so un-normal.
I have had panic and anxiety disorder since I was 17 (now 32), i know it can be controlled as I had 2 years of my life without it, but stressul circumstances bought it all back, worse than I have ever had it. But can I get through this again???
I am having CBT, but am unsure this can help. I have refused many meds but I do have Diazepam if I need it as a back up. To look at me you wouldnt think I have any issues - always have a full face of make up and my hair done! but i feel this is a disguise of whats going on inside.
I want to start taking my son to theme parks, shopping centres, the cinema but at the moment it is just a dream, but i WANT to beat this again or just reduce it so I can handle the anxiety and get on with a normal life.
I got married a year ago and my husband understands greatly but I want it to leave me alone now - whatever bad I have done in life, I feel I have been punished enough now with these fears and symptoms.
I know it seems I have waffled on - but I felt I needed to get all of this out.
I hope this might make sense to someone out there.
Much love
Kate x
Everyday i wake up with thoughts going through my head, will it be bad today? will i be able to go to the supermarket? will my son notice if we leave a shop before paying cos I cant handle the anxiety symptoms anymore? will i be sick? will i pass out? will i be stuck in a traffic jam and start getting my anxiety and I cant escape? will the next one be the worse one I have ever had as I dont think I can cope with this anymore? Will i start feeling depersonalised for no reason and sit and think I am going crazy??
Telling any "normal" human being these things - I feel they will laugh at me, but like my husband says, 'people are scared of balloons, buttons, you are just scared of the outside world'. but it just sounds so un-normal.
I have had panic and anxiety disorder since I was 17 (now 32), i know it can be controlled as I had 2 years of my life without it, but stressul circumstances bought it all back, worse than I have ever had it. But can I get through this again???
I am having CBT, but am unsure this can help. I have refused many meds but I do have Diazepam if I need it as a back up. To look at me you wouldnt think I have any issues - always have a full face of make up and my hair done! but i feel this is a disguise of whats going on inside.
I want to start taking my son to theme parks, shopping centres, the cinema but at the moment it is just a dream, but i WANT to beat this again or just reduce it so I can handle the anxiety and get on with a normal life.
I got married a year ago and my husband understands greatly but I want it to leave me alone now - whatever bad I have done in life, I feel I have been punished enough now with these fears and symptoms.
I know it seems I have waffled on - but I felt I needed to get all of this out.
I hope this might make sense to someone out there.
Much love
Kate x