lior
15-08-11, 00:45
I've been staying at my boyfriend's house more frequently recently.
My problem is that he lives with his parents, and they never clean. The floors look like they haven't been cleaned for months (there are brown marks everywhere), and my boyfriend drops towels on the floor while he has a shower, as well as clothes. Shelves and blinds etc have dust CAKED on - probably not cleaned for years. There's dust everywhere, everywhere. They hardly ever wash their dishes and when they do it's not very clean. They don't have a sponge, and when I said something about there not being many clean dishes and it being a bit frustrating when we want to eat, my boyfriend got them to buy some washing up liquid for the first time in ages.
He keeps all his clothes in a washing up basket instead of in the ample drawer space he has, saying that he doesn't know how long he's going to stay living with his parents. He's lived there for at least two years now. Even if he's in denial about it, I unpack when I go for a week's holiday. He has to smell every article of clothing before he puts it on, and nothing is uncrumpled.
I didn't think I had particularly high standards. I leave my clothes on the floor sometimes, but I clean the floor.
I feel completely unreasonable, staying at his house, yet complaining that nothing is clean. I love my boyfriend but if I complain I make it seem that I have higher standards or I might think I'm better than him or something. We're equals - but I just don't feel clean if I have a shower, and he sets aside a towel for me on the filthy floor. I don't want to make him feel bad but I find it very difficult to be in those conditions. I tried to clean something today while he was taking out the bins but he stopped me. I tried wiping off dust from the shutters but there was so much on, that they'd need a cleaning spray to displace it.
He can't sleep at mine because I have a single bed and we don't fit. I can't not spend nights with him, that would be torture to be away from him. If I could bear to not spend nights with him I would just not go to his house.
Do I have unreasonably high standards? How clean is the average person's house? Am I really unreasonable to want to eat from clean plates and feel clean after I've had a shower?
It's a real worry to me because I don't want to make him feel inferior (I've had that problem a couple of times before, apparently class divides exist - much more from the 'working classes' perspective).
The least they could do is get a sponge for washing the dishes, right? Is that unreasonable to ask for my boyfriend? I don't care what they eat from, I'll wash dishes for myself with the sponge when I eat with him. That, and towels not on the floor, would make it bearable. Is that terrible?
I need some perspective! I'm treading a dangerous line here, I would never bring it up with his parents, but surely my boyfriend should take responsibility of the place he lives in, right? Even just his own room?
Argh... I wish I could just be more easygoing and accept to live in filth, I suppose it would be like jumping into a swimming pool, but I don't want to :( ugh.
What do you think?
My problem is that he lives with his parents, and they never clean. The floors look like they haven't been cleaned for months (there are brown marks everywhere), and my boyfriend drops towels on the floor while he has a shower, as well as clothes. Shelves and blinds etc have dust CAKED on - probably not cleaned for years. There's dust everywhere, everywhere. They hardly ever wash their dishes and when they do it's not very clean. They don't have a sponge, and when I said something about there not being many clean dishes and it being a bit frustrating when we want to eat, my boyfriend got them to buy some washing up liquid for the first time in ages.
He keeps all his clothes in a washing up basket instead of in the ample drawer space he has, saying that he doesn't know how long he's going to stay living with his parents. He's lived there for at least two years now. Even if he's in denial about it, I unpack when I go for a week's holiday. He has to smell every article of clothing before he puts it on, and nothing is uncrumpled.
I didn't think I had particularly high standards. I leave my clothes on the floor sometimes, but I clean the floor.
I feel completely unreasonable, staying at his house, yet complaining that nothing is clean. I love my boyfriend but if I complain I make it seem that I have higher standards or I might think I'm better than him or something. We're equals - but I just don't feel clean if I have a shower, and he sets aside a towel for me on the filthy floor. I don't want to make him feel bad but I find it very difficult to be in those conditions. I tried to clean something today while he was taking out the bins but he stopped me. I tried wiping off dust from the shutters but there was so much on, that they'd need a cleaning spray to displace it.
He can't sleep at mine because I have a single bed and we don't fit. I can't not spend nights with him, that would be torture to be away from him. If I could bear to not spend nights with him I would just not go to his house.
Do I have unreasonably high standards? How clean is the average person's house? Am I really unreasonable to want to eat from clean plates and feel clean after I've had a shower?
It's a real worry to me because I don't want to make him feel inferior (I've had that problem a couple of times before, apparently class divides exist - much more from the 'working classes' perspective).
The least they could do is get a sponge for washing the dishes, right? Is that unreasonable to ask for my boyfriend? I don't care what they eat from, I'll wash dishes for myself with the sponge when I eat with him. That, and towels not on the floor, would make it bearable. Is that terrible?
I need some perspective! I'm treading a dangerous line here, I would never bring it up with his parents, but surely my boyfriend should take responsibility of the place he lives in, right? Even just his own room?
Argh... I wish I could just be more easygoing and accept to live in filth, I suppose it would be like jumping into a swimming pool, but I don't want to :( ugh.
What do you think?