GarryA
15-08-11, 14:18
Afternoon :)
I am Garry, 23, live in Wiltshire and i am currently riding the roller coaster of obsessive and obtrusive thoughts :huh:
I don't want to bore you with my whole life story/background so i will only touch on this a little and how i feel at present:
So, my grandma was a compulsive worrier and so was my mum, this was clearly passed on to me which i only made aware to myself about a week ago when i plucked up the courage to tell my mum i had been smoking weed for 3 - 4 years... and was going cold turkey! Bearing in mind this was irregular (once a week if any), till i moved in with my best mate two years ago and it became frequent (3 - 4 times... a night :scared15:)
Looking back, i feel the anxiety started a long time ago but at the time was in denial and only until i had a lot on my plate i realized (after looking online - good/bad move?) that i may have a problem.
The symptoms are vast and i can hold my hand up and tick the box for many, but i will list the main ones that i feel i suffer with:
- Fatigued
- No energy during the day but awake when i need to sleep
- Sleep but wake up 4 - 5 times throughout the night, sometimes sweating
- I feel like i am going to pass out at work sometimes
- I have waves of hot and cold
- I find myself shaking and trembling if i decide to be excited
- Dramatic mood swings which can be mid conversation when i want to escape
- Emotions are all over the place
- I fear what people may think of me
- I fear any kind of confrontation
- I fear i may make a fool out of myself
- I become overwhelmed in public places - pubs etc
- I fear losing control
- I obsess with negative thoughts which leaves me stressed with a knot in my stomach
- Very impatient and my leg is always on the move (its going now!)
- Feel down in the dumps and edgy
- I fear being alone
So these are the main symptoms i have, but on the plus side i have now been without weed for over a week (i know its only a short space of time but.. :yesyes:) and i know i am on the road to recovery - the light is getting brighter, i just need some kind of guidance to allow me to accept that i may have a problem and if i need any help, i can seek it - i guess that's why i am here!
It has taken me a while (a whole week in fact) to pluck up the courage to post this as although this is what the forum is for, i fear people may think i am being a fool and there is nothing wrong with me! - bla bla bla :blush:
A couple of things to note:
- I moved home to live with my mum last night
- I just started a new job which knocked me out of routine
- I recently started meeting a new girl (see below)
Thank you for your time to whoever may read this and i would appreciate any feedback and guidance.
Garry :)
P.S - I recently started seeing a girl ,as stated, and i am very fond of her; but i fear if i go any deeper and my heart gets more involved i may make a wrong decision which would ruin any kind of future and make my problems worse as i am in the wrong frame of mind where if i don't get a text within the hour i panic and think the world is over... but then we meet up and have a great time and i am back in my bubble - please help!
I am Garry, 23, live in Wiltshire and i am currently riding the roller coaster of obsessive and obtrusive thoughts :huh:
I don't want to bore you with my whole life story/background so i will only touch on this a little and how i feel at present:
So, my grandma was a compulsive worrier and so was my mum, this was clearly passed on to me which i only made aware to myself about a week ago when i plucked up the courage to tell my mum i had been smoking weed for 3 - 4 years... and was going cold turkey! Bearing in mind this was irregular (once a week if any), till i moved in with my best mate two years ago and it became frequent (3 - 4 times... a night :scared15:)
Looking back, i feel the anxiety started a long time ago but at the time was in denial and only until i had a lot on my plate i realized (after looking online - good/bad move?) that i may have a problem.
The symptoms are vast and i can hold my hand up and tick the box for many, but i will list the main ones that i feel i suffer with:
- Fatigued
- No energy during the day but awake when i need to sleep
- Sleep but wake up 4 - 5 times throughout the night, sometimes sweating
- I feel like i am going to pass out at work sometimes
- I have waves of hot and cold
- I find myself shaking and trembling if i decide to be excited
- Dramatic mood swings which can be mid conversation when i want to escape
- Emotions are all over the place
- I fear what people may think of me
- I fear any kind of confrontation
- I fear i may make a fool out of myself
- I become overwhelmed in public places - pubs etc
- I fear losing control
- I obsess with negative thoughts which leaves me stressed with a knot in my stomach
- Very impatient and my leg is always on the move (its going now!)
- Feel down in the dumps and edgy
- I fear being alone
So these are the main symptoms i have, but on the plus side i have now been without weed for over a week (i know its only a short space of time but.. :yesyes:) and i know i am on the road to recovery - the light is getting brighter, i just need some kind of guidance to allow me to accept that i may have a problem and if i need any help, i can seek it - i guess that's why i am here!
It has taken me a while (a whole week in fact) to pluck up the courage to post this as although this is what the forum is for, i fear people may think i am being a fool and there is nothing wrong with me! - bla bla bla :blush:
A couple of things to note:
- I moved home to live with my mum last night
- I just started a new job which knocked me out of routine
- I recently started meeting a new girl (see below)
Thank you for your time to whoever may read this and i would appreciate any feedback and guidance.
Garry :)
P.S - I recently started seeing a girl ,as stated, and i am very fond of her; but i fear if i go any deeper and my heart gets more involved i may make a wrong decision which would ruin any kind of future and make my problems worse as i am in the wrong frame of mind where if i don't get a text within the hour i panic and think the world is over... but then we meet up and have a great time and i am back in my bubble - please help!