View Full Version : All Time Low :-(
Hello fellow sufferers,
It's been a while since I last posted on here but between then and now I can't say I've had a day where I've felt symptom-free. I've had an ultrasound on my kidney and a flexible sigmoidoscopy - both came back clear. Still get the odd sensation in kidneys but we're getting there. I've had joint pain in my arms and knees, tried to put it down to swimming but not so sure. My latest set of symptoms are: sore tongue and distaste (GP said it could be mouthbug and to use mouthwash), Tinnitus (nurse said possibly down to congestion and recommended nasal spray) so for most of today I was ok......until I discovered a bony lump on my left forearm - not the prominent one on top of your wrist but near there...and it's not on my right arm at all. I'm absolutely terrified that I may have bone cancer, secondary if not primary, it would explain why my immune system's been rubbish too :-(
I also got myself into such a state that I reached to take my Propranolol but absent-mindedly took my contraceptive mini-pill which I'd already taken an hour before :-(
I'm so worried, I was only at the surgery today for the Tinnitus, and now I have to book medically urgent appointment first thing tomorrow as they don't do routine appointments unless you wait a month. Can anyone offer me some words of solace in these lonely times?
Thank you x
First things first, I'm not an expert but I'm fairly sure an ultrasound would easily pick up and cancer of the kidney, secondly is it really a bump? or part of your bone, can you see it or only feel it? you could possibily have inflammation of your joints, try taking a painkiller/anti-inflammatry like Ibuprofen, it should ease things, I'd bet you don't have bone cancer, and theres a million reasons why your immune system is weak.
Hi Andyreww,
Thanks so much for replying :-) Yes, I'm not worried about kidney cancer since the scan but I've got a horribly fear of Leukaemia so always cautious of it's many symptoms.
Unfortunately there is a noticeable bump there even when I rub my hand lightly over it, my right arm is completely smooth when I carry out this same motion. Thank you so much, I hadn't considered inflammation, the lump is along the bone so not near any joints, can inflammation happen along the bone too? Am terrified to take anything at the mo after accidentally doubling up on my pill. Just hope I can get a docs appt and they don't think I'm crazy :-(
xx
That's a classic symptom of anxiety right there, even after you've got a clean scan it changes to something else (now Leukaemia) I sympathise with you, because I'm the excat same, how long have you been having symptoms for? if it's been for more than a few months, you'd be chronically ill now without treatment, yes, inflammation is common in joints but it can happen in the bone too, if you think about your skull, feel it, there is lumps and bumps on it, it's like your arm, they take alot of impact and bangs and whacks through the days, most of the time you don't even realise, not all bone is smooth clean cut, it can be ridigity, and you may have had it from birth but not noticed it because everything is now heightened from anxiety, I was constantly looking in the mirror thinking my arms were wasting and I was losing muscle, I now know I wasnt, it's all in the mind and tricks anxiety plays, Bone cancer isn't a gentle disease and if it's secondary, you'd be in alot of trouble right now, let alone typing on a keyboard :) by all means get a check up by a doctor, but I'm sure if you logically think about it, there is alot more of an explanation that bone cancer to lumps and bumps on your arm,
You've made me feel a lot better. Thank you so much :-) I've been sufferering with HA now for almost a year, with about 4 months' worth of respite in total in between. How about you? You're right but I'm so frustrated also because as soon as I'm treated/reassured about one thing, something completely different pops up the very same day and then I worry about that! I do keep wondering whether I've had this bone protrusion all along as I agree that we look for things and feel things more than a non HA sufferer.
At the moment I'm trying to reassure myself that it could be a Ganglion Cyst, but I know I won't feel better until I've seen the doctor, just fed up of being such a pain in the neck to everyone, even my Counsellor washed her hands of me!
Thank you for being about and so helpful at this ungodly hour :-)
LOL, well, I had a hernia for 2 years that I was convinced was cancer, then suddenly I had ALS and MS, so I went from cancer to ALS/MS, I read all your previous posts, and I agree you suffer quite alot, your consellor shouldn't of washed her hands of you, and I feel alot of Counsellors nowadays are just in it for the money instead of truly wanting to help someone out, I mean, I'm fairly confident it's something silly, look at all your other problems that have resolved without the deadly cancer spreading through your system :P, if someone said to you "ouch, ive got a lump my arm" the first thing you wouldn't think was OMG they have cancer, it's just because we are HA, we automatically search the worst, most nasty disease and convince ourselves we have it, until we actually start producing systems, it's probably your normal bone, I mean we are full of lumps and bumps, heck i've 2 hammer toes, that are bent like hammers, it's awesome :P if everyone was the same we'd be bored, it could possibily be something like a calcium deposit or the normal shape of your bone, or a type of injury, think realistic and try to think it as if you were looking at someone who said they'd a bump on their arm, I know alot of people who have bumps on their arms, it's just normal,
p.s you aren't a pain to me, if you ever need to talk, just message me, I know what you're going through, and it's not nice, make the appointment, get reasurrance, and relax, life's too short not to live it and worry about what if, instead enjoy what is.
And to answer your question, I've suffered from anxiety all my life. I've possibily suffered from HA 3-4 years. I can overcome anxiety, Health Anxiety is alot harder, and is completely different, I always picture my funeral, me in a wheelchair, my family, how my family would feel if I die etc, It's an illness, I think the only cure is medication and being totally symptom free, also conselling, aslong as you don't have social anxiety, then you'll start panicing what the consellor is thinking etc etc, it's a loop, that goes round and round.
I feel you've probably alot to offer, and are completely restricted by the anxiety, when did it start for you?
Again I can't thank you enough for your support. You've had it a lot worse than me, I'm lucky enough (despite being a general worrier) not to have had general anxiety to the point where it affects my mind and body. HA, as you say, is very different. That's why I am reluctant to go on anti-depressants because if there aren't any symptoms, I'm fine!! Apologies for sounding ignorant but I know very little about hernias, did you have to have it operated on?
I'm the same, every time I play with my niece I wonder if I'll ever live long enough to have children (I'm 25!!) and always picture myself on a hospital bed.
Every time I see a cancer advert on tv, I have to switch over as I don't wanted to be reminded of the possibility it could happen to me, especially as I remind myself enough!
Again you're right, I've diagnosed myself with most cancers and kidney failure but am still here. That thought has helped me in recent times but seeing and feeling as something as obvious as a lumpy bone has done nothing to alleviate my worries!
This counsellor is at my local GP practice and they referred me to her. The first time around, my symptoms had gone so I really enjoyed our sessions and they ended quite quickly because I was ok. The second time around it was not pleasant at all, because I'd got used to many symptoms, my anxiety wasn't as intense as it has been but was still there so I was always registering low on the chart. She told me I kept on going over old ground and challenging everything she said and she asked me if I was reluctant to let go of the anxiety (which I thought was incredibly insulting!) Of course I want to let go, I just need help in being able to do it. Like you said, any other person would think nothing of a lump, a rash, or a sore throat. I used to be like that once! You've been great at making me look at things rationally, are you finding it easier to think like that when you have symptoms now? If you don't mind me asking, how did your general anxiety begin and how did you overcome it?
Thanks again for helping me, I hope you're never in the situation to need my help but it's there if you do :-)
P.S. I rang the surgery, no GP appointments available for the rest of the week unless 'medically urgent'. Still made an appointment with the nurse to see if she can assess it, luckily one of the nurses is really nice and knows what it's like to go through anxiety and she was the one who recommended this forum to me, I'm very grateful to her!
You don't need to thank me, it's human nature to help people eh? well it's not, but afterall, humanity is actually disgusting, they'd step over your dead body, lol. I will have to have it operated it on, I'm only 22, and I got it from weight training, although I'm not in the slightest bothered about the operation, I've always been anxious, and I have started to overcome it, I can always see how silly other peoples anxiety is, not silly because it's not in the slightest silly to them, but you know what I mean :P but if it's mine I'm like zomg it's cancer! sore toe, you could have boneapmpyotathyerwooper cancer. I think it's just a sore toe? "BUT WHAT IF ITS CANCER" then you start seeing the adverts and swear you have it, it's so irrational lol, I'm pretty sure that in 99% of the cases the lumps are benign as simple as fatty lumps or non-cancerous growths, people get secondary cancer they start noticing alot of stuff affecting their bodies, they dont just feel "under the weather" I laugh at the symptoms because they are never vague, they just state "fatigue" it isnt fatigue like you've just woken up after a late night, it's serious fatigue where it's crippling,
I'm off now to get my blood taken to test for B12, FOLATE, THYROID, full blood count and something else
let me know how you get on, and whenever you feel anxious and need to talk, private message me, doesn't matter when it is, I'll get it on my phone :)
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