Jimgym
16-08-11, 12:49
Hi everyone,
Just thought I'd say hi! I've been a bit unsure whether to join one of these forums as I feel as if they rake up my anxiety when the best way to deal with things is to try and distract myself and not dwell on my feelings. So...I promise to never talk about the way I am feeling and will help other people in their struggle. I'm joining this site mainly to see what people have tried to relieve their symptoms and recover - and share a few of my own.
You can stop here if you want to as this is going to be quite a long post!
So my history...I've always been an anxious person but this is more on the inside than on the out. I'm sure many of my friends so not know I have anxiety - I seem to hide it quite. When I was younger I had OCD and was especially preoccupied with keeping myself clean fearing that i would contaminate both myself and my family. Though seeing a psychiatrist I learnt just how irrational my thoughts were and found myself OCD and anxiety free for at least 8 years. As proof of my recovery from OCD I am now a microbiologist!
Fast forward a few years and I was finding myself having panic attacks during my A level exams which I think was down to both the stress of exams and a breakup with a long term girlfriend. To treat the panic attacks I was given 40mg propranolol tablets by my doctor - about 90 tablets worth and told "to take them for a while and see whether they'd be good. If not we'll have to use benzos'. This i now see as being extrmely irresposible. I found that popping a 40mg propranolol tablet each morning dulled the feelings of anger towards my girlfriend (whom I shared classes with) and also helped me concentrate during the exams. At times I would pop more than one - when in reality if I'd waited half an hour the effect would have kicked.
I finished my A levels and barely made it into university with the poor grades I'd received at college though not caring. Things looked up on going to University. I reduced taking the propranolol and met lots of new people (just being out of the same room as my exgirlfriend helped me immensley). I loved having a fresh start and hardly thought about my anxiety. First year was awesome.
Second year of University things started going downhill and I began to loose my confidence and my anxiety began to show again - this time my exams mattered and my grandma had recently been diagnosed with cancer. I was doing my exams whilst my gran was dying in hospital - on the last day of exams I went to see my Gran...with her dying a few days later. For the next 2 years I was heavily using propranolol to go down into town, attend lectures etc just to keep the anxiety away. I went though periods of drinking heavily at night (just like any other student but for me it was to remove the anxiety AND have a good time).
Now, I feel as though I am on the path to recovery and I need some help along the last stretch. I've been using the Linden Method (on and off - I haven't stuck to it as closely as I'd hoped) and exercising instead of running for the propranolol. If I do use, I use about 10mg instead of the 40 - 80mg I was using.
My long term aim is to be anxiety free and loose the meds all together.
Apologies for my long initial post - It's helped me to just get that out.
I look forward to hearing your strategies and sharing some of my own,
Jim :D
Just thought I'd say hi! I've been a bit unsure whether to join one of these forums as I feel as if they rake up my anxiety when the best way to deal with things is to try and distract myself and not dwell on my feelings. So...I promise to never talk about the way I am feeling and will help other people in their struggle. I'm joining this site mainly to see what people have tried to relieve their symptoms and recover - and share a few of my own.
You can stop here if you want to as this is going to be quite a long post!
So my history...I've always been an anxious person but this is more on the inside than on the out. I'm sure many of my friends so not know I have anxiety - I seem to hide it quite. When I was younger I had OCD and was especially preoccupied with keeping myself clean fearing that i would contaminate both myself and my family. Though seeing a psychiatrist I learnt just how irrational my thoughts were and found myself OCD and anxiety free for at least 8 years. As proof of my recovery from OCD I am now a microbiologist!
Fast forward a few years and I was finding myself having panic attacks during my A level exams which I think was down to both the stress of exams and a breakup with a long term girlfriend. To treat the panic attacks I was given 40mg propranolol tablets by my doctor - about 90 tablets worth and told "to take them for a while and see whether they'd be good. If not we'll have to use benzos'. This i now see as being extrmely irresposible. I found that popping a 40mg propranolol tablet each morning dulled the feelings of anger towards my girlfriend (whom I shared classes with) and also helped me concentrate during the exams. At times I would pop more than one - when in reality if I'd waited half an hour the effect would have kicked.
I finished my A levels and barely made it into university with the poor grades I'd received at college though not caring. Things looked up on going to University. I reduced taking the propranolol and met lots of new people (just being out of the same room as my exgirlfriend helped me immensley). I loved having a fresh start and hardly thought about my anxiety. First year was awesome.
Second year of University things started going downhill and I began to loose my confidence and my anxiety began to show again - this time my exams mattered and my grandma had recently been diagnosed with cancer. I was doing my exams whilst my gran was dying in hospital - on the last day of exams I went to see my Gran...with her dying a few days later. For the next 2 years I was heavily using propranolol to go down into town, attend lectures etc just to keep the anxiety away. I went though periods of drinking heavily at night (just like any other student but for me it was to remove the anxiety AND have a good time).
Now, I feel as though I am on the path to recovery and I need some help along the last stretch. I've been using the Linden Method (on and off - I haven't stuck to it as closely as I'd hoped) and exercising instead of running for the propranolol. If I do use, I use about 10mg instead of the 40 - 80mg I was using.
My long term aim is to be anxiety free and loose the meds all together.
Apologies for my long initial post - It's helped me to just get that out.
I look forward to hearing your strategies and sharing some of my own,
Jim :D