How do your family treat you and your worries?

[sandy40]

Argh,ive had my mum and sister have a right go at me this morning saying if i go to A&E anymore i will be locked up into my local mental hospital and the social workers will be poking their heads in to my kids welfare...im shocked and scared now as im still having my chest pains/tightness and feel scared to seek help...just wondered if anyone has had a lecture from their family about their health worries? My kids are my life and its the fear of leaving them that scares me.

[countrygirl]

Rushing to A&E is rarely helpful for anyone with health anxiety- it seems so at the time but as you get instant attention but unless you are actually having a heart attack or other serious illness they just patch you up and send you out. Instead of going to A&E have you discussed your problems both physical and mental with your GP as they are the ones to help you, they can arrange tests to reassure you your heart etc is okay and also the mental anguish that is health anxiety.

Its also best not to keep asking your nearest and dearest for reassurance or go on and on about your symptoms, they feel helpless and know that no matter what they say they cannot reassure you so they get angry. This is what my husband has said in the past.

By all means come on here and have a panic as we all understand and can relate and sympathise with you.

I understand totally what you are going through as I have had ha since I was a child, mine had improved in past year but just one worrying symptom or hospital test as I have at moment and I feel I am back in the panic and despair or ha at tis worst.

[sandy40]

Hi,ive been to my gps lots of times and everything he pins onto my HA,which i do suffer from badly BUT my heart worries are new as its been only 3 weeks since the pains/tightness has started,theres heart disease in my family so im extra worried..i know if i go and tell all my symptoms he will say its stress/anxiety but i would like more tests done,just to see if something is going on.

[macc noodle]

Sandy

That is the nature of HA - it moves around and you get different symptoms!

Your family I suspect are only trying to get you to see the reality of your situation. You simply cannot keep going to A&E with your health anxiety - you will not find the answer you seek there.

I suffer dreadful HA but am not a sufferer who has to run to the GP or hospital with every ache and pain i suffer as i am scared of them. So i can tell you quite categorically that if it is HA you are suffering what you need is help from your GP for counselling or CBT and possibly some meds to help you along the way.

You should be concerened for the welfare of your kids, not least of all the effect that you are having on them and their future mental health by running to the hospital and docs every 5 mins. You run the very real risk of imposing your illness on them and making them exactly the same about their health as they grow - which is very unfair.

And so what if the doc runs tests - how long will you be satisfied with the answer you get - 5 minutes, 5 weeks, 5 months, 5 years??? Not forever that is a guarantee - you will be back at the hospital or the docs with something else or for more check ups just to put your mind at rest - all the time feeding your HA.

You need to acknowledge your issues - ie., the health anxiety - and ask for the appropriate treatment not keep seeking assurance via tests etc.

I am not intending to be harsh in my reply but just wish to show you the reality of the situation - I know because I am finally getting the help I need to rid me of this dreadful affliction.

Good luck

[M155anthr0p3]

Hi Sandy,

I couldn't have said it better than macc noodle to be honest.

I've suffered from HA for 10 years but it has only been the last few months that I have truly accepted it. Without acceptance it will go on & on & on.

Emily xxx

[sandy40]

Hi i suffer the "type" of HA that i run to the drs/A&E as im scared if i dont then it will be too late.Im on meds and ive done cbt but cbt did not help at all,im booked in to try hypnotherapy on the 29th.Your right reasurrance keeps me happy for 5 mins then it starts all over again.Having the heart worry is a biggy for me as my dad died of a heart attack at 51,had his first attack in his 40's..im 41 and its controlling my life as im getting pains all day,scared to let go incase its a heart attack or heart disease.Where did all this start? ive no idea,i used to never give my health a second thought.Does it really move around???

[macc noodle]

Yes Sandy it does move around honey !

I can feel your suffering really I can and I am very surprised that your GP has not given CBT another try - how long did you have CBT for?

I can fully understand your concerns about heart disease with your family history but if your GP had any thoughts whatsoever that it was a real heart problem, they would do the necessary tests - it would just not be worth the risk not to!

Your comment "scared to let go in case its a heart attack or heart disease" - what are you scared to let go of? Do you think that by worrying about it somehow keeps the threat at bay? What if it is a heart attack or heart disease - what then? How can you keep thinking about it keep it at bay ?

You are probably going to have to go the GP and discuss the family heart issue in a very unemotive manner and say that you know you have HA but this is a family problem and that you are concerned that you may be prone to the same illness and see what they say.

But once they have told you you are fine, you have to accept this and move forward.... it is the only way.

Your therapy needs to help you understand that keep going to the doctors is not going to keep any illness at bay - not going is not going to guarantee an illness or death - until you can reach this level of acceptance (by whatever means), then you are not going to move away from this current level of fear.

I am only just coming to this realisation with my illness and it is hard even now - I am feeling horrible today and fighting the urge to wallow in my aches and pains and belief that I am dying - but I have decided enough is enough and I am not going to let it rule my life any longer.

I wish the same strength and determination for you Sandy.

Go and give your kids a big hug xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[sandy40]

I feel if i "let go" of my heart pains and relax about them then i might miss a heart attack coming instead of seeking help and phoning 999...daft i know,so im constantly waiting for every pain/tightness...theres one great gp whos old school and does take the time to listen but hes very hard to get,(no wonder) im going to try and get an appt with him,accepting what they say is hard as you will know and great for you that your fighting your HA so much so that you can not heed your aches and pains,wonderful.x My cbt lasted about 3 months,i never really got on with her from the start as i went for my fear of cancer..im over that fear now..and she said from the start that she didnt know if i had cancer or not but she was to learn me to see it from a different view and i thought..WHAT!!!! you cant say that to me and expect me to be calm,lol..so it never really worked.
Thanks for your replies.xx

[Anxious_gal]

My family make me feel humiliated , they've only ever withnessed one of my panic attackes, I've never felt so scared and worthless at the same time.
No hugs or sympathy for me,makes me feel
Very lonely .

Once you accept that health anxiety is an illness of sorts and chances are you are way over reacting , it gets easier!