Is it all Anticipatory anxiety?

[Meewah]

I have a theory

I feel that everything we suffer is because of anticipatory anxiety? It is all because we have the capacity to think in to the future and set out what we think will happen based on what we read and see on Television. Most of us are physically well but think we are physically sick. If we could stop the mind chatter that tries to predict the future then we would be cured yes?

Discuss.

Mee

[Tyke]

I have a theory

I feel that everything we suffer is because of anticipatory anxiety? It is all because we have the capacity to think in to the future and set out what we think will happen based on what we read and see on Television. Most of us are physically well but think we are physically sick. If we could stop the mind chatter that tries to predict the future then we would be cured yes?

Discuss.

Mee
Yes, there is a lot of truth in this Mee. Anticipatory anxiety is a large part of my problem. I have found that usually when I actually do the thing I am afraid of it is not as bad as I thought it would be beforehand. The worry does create physical symptoms, but without the worry, there would be no symptoms. How do you stop the 'mind chatter' though? I do use strategies like 'one day at a time' or 'take each day as it comes' in order to try not to think too far ahead. There is also a prayer that I heard as a child, something about accepting the things you can't change, but having courage to change the things you can and having the wisdom to know the difference between the two. Do you have any ideas for stopping the 'mind chatter' Mee?

[Bill]

How do you stop the 'mind chatter' though?

Just a few thoughts.

There is a footballing term when managers are asked about their chances of winning the title. They always reply "We're just taking one game at a time". The same can be said about life that we just have to take one day at a time but in fact I think you could go further and say we need to take one minute or even one second at a time.

Bad experiences in our past can affect our present but it's because they were so traumatic that our minds will keep replaying those memories, especially when something happens to remind us of those memories.

Also, some of us our born worriers so our minds love to attempt to predict every negative outcome that could happen in the future rather than think of the future with a positive outlook.

I think in both cases we have to try and keep our minds in the present second of time by learning how to accept the past and to forget the future until it becomes the present.

The ways of learning the above that have helped me are by finding things that I enjoy doing and finding things to look forward to so that every time a worry surfaces I then have something good to focus on or to think about.

I think anxiety knows how to control us because it knows what frightens us most so that when it wants to it'll press the right button to make us want to freeze. Once we freeze, it knows it can control us by making us keep dwelling on that fear keeping our anxious symptoms alive. I've found the only way to escape it's grip is by jumping free at the beginning before it takes hold so in other words, always do the opposite to what anxiety makes you feel like doing or you'll end up freezing in fear.

Another way is to learn how to relax. I've been taught that the more tense you become, the more you fuel your anxious symptoms and then also the worries feel more real and become harder to stop worrying about.

One other thought is that a bored mind will always look for something to worry about so try not to just sit and feel bored or again you're opening the door to allow anxiety to make you freeze where you are.

Also try to keep yur stress levels to a minimum by not attempting to do more than is humanly possible. The more stressed you feel, the more your mind will chatter about worries.

I feel it's about nipping anxiety in the bud before it takes hold by using all the above. If for instance a worry or fear surfaces, put a relaxation technique into practise as a weapon against anxiety. Then focus your mind on the present by finding something you enjoy or focus your mind on something you're looking forward to. If you can learn how to keep relaxed and just take one second at a time, you can focus on tackling what needs to be done in the present. I feel it's about training the mind and learning the techniques that help you most.

Well, that's what has helped me.:hugs:

[shinderuko]

I would say my anxiety is almost solely fuelled by 'what ifs' therefore completely going along with your theory

[eeyorelover]

I agree that most of my anxiety is from 'what ifs'!

A lot of what Bill posted applied to me as well...

I worry about things weeks or months in advance! It is really hard for me to stay in the moment because I feel like my mind is going 110 mph in every direction worrying about tons of stuff most of which are either futile worries because they will happen whether I worry or not or are so remote in their possibility that they will probably NEVER come about!!

The relaxation thing I have found utterly impossible! I've tried meditation and I found myself thinking about things MORE when I tried to meditate than when I'm not! Stupid stuff like what will I make for dinner or Do I smell gas???? Maybe the pilot light is off!!! LOL
I tried relaxation programs with colored patterns on the computer screen and a REALLY annoying monotone man talking! He pissed me off so much I wanted to throw the computer out the window! ;)
I tried chanting......always reminds me of a song I heard once somewhere! Then drives me crazy sooooooooo much that I spend hours trying to find that particular song on the internet!
I found one where you start to relax each part of your body....Your toes...then your feet...then your ankles.........
Well that threw my health anxiety into the mix because I heard and felt pops and cracks that scared the crap out of me!!!

So I agree YES YES YES I think too much! I worry too much!!! I dwell on things WAY TOO MUCH!
Question is how to stop it!

I've been trading an irrational thought for either a more rational one like....
People are looking at me and somehow know that I have anxiety! It must be obvious!!
And adding.....So what if they do know I have anxiety??? I don't care what they think!

And I've tried trading an irrational thought for a much more outlandish one to try to make myself realize how irrational my mind can get...........
What if I pass out while I'm in the store???
(I've never passed out by the way)
And adding to it...
Yeah and I'll really put on a show and make monkeys fly out of my butt ;)
LOL

Ok so that is a little odd....I never claimed to be normal!!
But it works for me!!!
It makes me chuckle to myself and takes the edge off ;)

So here I am still trying to learn to relax, stay in the moment, and stop sweating the small stuff!!
Not sure how that will ever happen but it does sound like a great idea :)
xxx
Sandy

[Meewah]

Well Said Bill

Its great to have your input.

I use a great website which teaches meditation. Before you dismiss it, visit and watch some of the videos and tell me they dont reflect what your going through?

the address is:-
http://www.getsomeheadspace.com/

I hope it helps get rid of some of the chatter.

Mee

[evil monkey]

I guess it could depend on the cause of the anxiety. Sometimes i have to 'rev myself up' to do something. But sometimes symptoms just start at the time. Personally mine isn't a mystery to me tho.

[Bill]

Sandy,
And I've tried trading an irrational thought for a much more outlandish one to try to make myself realize how irrational my mind can get...........

When I read your reply there was one word that came to mind. You need to learn how to "chill". It just seems to me that when you try to relax you're not allowing yourself to switch off because you're constantly trying to defend yourself against anxious thoughts and feelings or using defence mechanisms to try and rationalise thoughts. This would mean that everytime something triggers a worry you're immediately trying to fight it off rather than letting it float away to allow your mind to focus on relaxing.

If you imagine saying to yourself "I Must relax", immediately you're putting pressure on yourself making the opposite happen. The key to relaxing isn't making your body feel relaxed but allowing your mind to to give your body the chance to relax. I hink your mind is so switched on guarding yourself against every worry that you're keeping yourself in a constant tense state and while you do this you'll never relax.

When you get these thoughts try to just let them in with a "so what" approach. Say to yourself I'm relaxing now, it can wait, I'll worry about it later. By the time you've finished your session you'll have forgotten what it was you were worrying about.

It's kind of like you're walking through a dark wood listening and looking out for anything that might jump out from behind a tree. By thinking like this you're constantly tense so that when you hear the slightest movement your mind is already prepared to fight or run and immediately you're then saying to yourself "What was that!?" and then dwelling on all the "what if's" whereas when you're in a relaxed state you'd then be able to dismiss these worries as just being irrational. It kind of creates a circle.

Let your guard down. Let yourself think these thoughts without tensing up. Learn to chill and say to yourself so what. Don't let your mind react so that your body doesn't tense up. When you get these thoughts just re-focus on sitting on a beach in the sun with the breeze flowing around you as the waves brush the shore.

In the ame way, if we go to bed full of worries and feeling tense, we end up having nightmares and a restless sleep so that when we wake we feel exhausted and anxious for the rest of the day. A relaxed mind creates a better sleep leaving you feeling less likely to feel anxious when you wake. It's a bit like learning a new habit of accepting things so that we're not always fighting and trying to block out worries and feelings. Remember, it's the mind that creates feelings just like an engine determines how a machine performs. When the mind stutters, so will the machine.

It just takes alot of practise.:winks::hugs: