Found out a relative hung themselves

[Lizziesaurus]

My grandma's cousin, my family and I used to go over to Austria once a year and see her and the rest of the family.
We heard she died last December. We never knew why however she was suffering early memory loss and her husband had died the year before and you could tell she missed him.

Anyway my parents went to see the rest of the family and they told my mum the details of her death.
To cut a long story short she pre-planned it all, she left a note saying it was better to have a horrible death than have a horrible life. They then found her one morning hung.

I do find some reasurance in this as I now know this sort of thing does run somewhere in my family. But at the same time I feel very anxious about it all. I keep thinking about what it must of been like for her and that there is still such a stigma. My mum even turned around and said it's a completely selfish act which shocked me, I know how it must have felt to feel so low.

I just can't get it all off my mind :weep:

[lizzie29]

I'm really sorry to hear that, she must have been feeling terrible to do that, and I hope she is at peace now. Some people do say suicide is a selfish thing, but I think unless you've felt that bad, you can't imagine wanting to do such a thing. If you have felt that bad, and that seems the only way out, then I don't see it as selfish but desperation and wanting to end the pain. I think there will always be a stigma associated with this, as there is with assisted suicide and the Dignitas clinic etc, where people can go to die. I know it must be shocking, especially to hear all the details, but try to gain a bit of reassurance from the fact that she's no longer suffering and is at peace.

[nomorepanic]

It is very sad indeed.

My best mate's mum hung herself and even cooked dinner and left it in the oven with a note to the family saying simply "dinner in the oven".

She owed a lot of money and hadn't dared tell her husband so chose to end her life instead.

My friend has never really got over it or forgiven her which is very sad.

[Anxious_gal]

aw I'm sorry : (
I hate too when people say it's selfish, people don't understand mental illness, sometimes it takes over and you really aren't fully in control of what you are doing :(